Noisy neighbour

chris_m

No-one seems to have mentioned this - but is it not possible that the mother isn't actually shouting at her daughter in the same room, but is shouting from her bedroom to/at the little girl in her own bedroom?
This might explain why the little girl can barely be heard whereas the mother can?

catoutthebag

Sorry if I portrayed myself as one of the growing number of extremist posters on mse. I'm not. I agree, go chat with mum (and dad) & see what's wrong with little one. They may be teething or gave sleeping / behavioural disorder.

ognum

catoutthebag wrote: »

I do not know why everyone is ganging up on me. I'm trying to help. I've been through similar and it can be frustrating and lead to knee-jerk really reaction.

Don't think I am ganging up on you but I disagree with many of your posts

First post you suggested checking the child for bruises, second post you suggested the family were 'feral'. Third post you suggested rallying neighbours, then you suggest that this mother is mentally abusive and unstable without any real evidence.

So, no ganging up just disagreeing with some of the things you say.

kerri_gt

chris_m wrote: »

No-one seems to have mentioned this - but is it not possible that the mother isn't actually shouting at her daughter in the same room, but is shouting from her bedroom to/at the little girl in her own bedroom?
This might explain why the little girl can barely be heard whereas the mother can?

Quite possible. There could also be several reasons why the mother is shouting at the child - if the father works nights, and the child is 2 then there's prob times in the day where dad is sleeping and little girl is told to be quiet so as not to wake him, she might end up sleeping in the day thus not sleeping at night, or simply going through a phase. As pointed out mother migh not be shouting in the same room as the child but from another room, possibly behind OPs wall, and if her bed is against the party wall, she will sound loud. Mother may simply be frazzled with sleepless nights.

I would go round and talk to her, or invite her round - she might even appreciate someone to talk to.

Of course, she could also be a total nightmare and not care if she wakes you or not in which case you have two choices - move into the other room where you weren't disturbed, move house when you can.

chris_m

kerri_gt wrote: »

Quite possible. There could also be several reasons why the mother is shouting at the child - if the father works nights, and the child is 2 then there's prob times in the day where dad is sleeping and little girl is told to be quiet so as not to wake him, she might end up sleeping in the day thus not sleeping at night, or simply going through a phase. As pointed out mother migh not be shouting in the same room as the child but from another room, possibly behind OPs wall, and if her bed is against the party wall, she will sound loud. Mother may simply be frazzled with sleepless nights.

Another thought that comes to mind - maybe they are trying to get the child used to sleeping in her own room. In such circumstances they may have found it counter-productive to leap up and go in to her every time she wakes and starts crying - because if they do, she'll never get used to being alone.
Calling to her will reassure her that she's not completely alone - however, some people's idea of calling is not the same as that of others.

catoutthebag

True. Usually little one will get tired from crying anyway and fall fast asleep.

ndi149

Thanks again for the replies, it does seem I have been turned into the bad lady for not having a child so therefore not understanding the immense pressure this mother is under.

The reason why the letters were sent in the first instance, was because I am up an out for work by about 6.30, I actually didn't want to go and knock on their door in the early hours but also wanted to them to know that there was a problem.

Neither letters were aggressive, and I even made a joke about it in the first letter, but thanks again for condoning her behaviour with my apparent bad attitude.

I will do as you say and talk to her today as funnily enough I am a polite person I would prefer to handle this without the need for outside help and see the outcome to that.

Thanks once again for your advice.

ndi149

So I did go round this morning with some peace offering Xmas biscuits and Chris_m you were right she is "unsuccessfully" her words, trying to get Freya sleeping in her own room. She also knowledges she is loud anyway, so can imagine it is a nightmare in the night and she will try to keep it down.

So finger crossed Freya learns to sleep soon and I will get the ear plugs. For all the people who said about sleeping in the spare room, it isn't really an option in terms is space.

ognum

ndi149 wrote: »

Thanks again for the replies, it does seem I have been turned into the bad lady for not having a child so therefore not understanding the immense pressure this mother is under.

The reason why the letters were sent in the first instance, was because I am up an out for work by about 6.30, I actually didn't want to go and knock on their door in the early hours but also wanted to them to know that there was a problem.

Neither letters were aggressive, and I even made a joke about it in the first letter, but thanks again for condoning her behaviour with my apparent bad attitude.

I will do as you say and talk to her today as funnily enough I am a polite person I would prefer to handle this without the need for outside help and see the outcome to that.

Thanks once again for your advice.

Oh dear, no one has turned you into a 'bad lady' my negative responses were to another poster who described your neighbour in an unplesant fashion that you did not.

Most posters were simply saying there could be a reason for the shouting in the hope of helping you.

These things are never easy.

ognum

ndi149 wrote: »

So I did go round this morning with some peace offering Xmas biscuits and Chris_m you were right she is "unsuccessfully" her words, trying to get Freya sleeping in her own room. She also knowledges she is loud anyway, so can imagine it is a nightmare in the night and she will try to keep it down.

So finger crossed Freya learns to sleep soon and I will get the ear plugs. For all the people who said about sleeping in the spare room, it isn't really an option in terms is space.

Excellent well done. Hopefully you now have good neighbours.