How well do you know your partner?

esmy

I'm amazed that you believe it's OK to share very personal and specific details of the prospective adopters you work with even if you don't identify them. I suggest you have a discussion with your employer about confidentiality and how it applies to your role.

MacMickster

AubreyMac wrote: »

Previously there was a woman who was a virgin in her 40s, this was explored and she had issues about men due to her own bad childhood. She was not willing to address this and have therapy so she was turned down.

Absolute sanctimonious nonsense.

Being a virgin in her 40s is not something that is in any way relevant to how someone would care for a child. Unless she overtly said that she would bring a child up to hate all men, then it has no bearing on the matter.

How would she deal with a child who was distressed and wanting to talk about their own past? I would imagine that, like any other parent, she would wing it if the situation arose.

In trying to find the "ideal" family for a child in care (and many would question the model of the ideal family) many children are abandoned to the care system which prepares them only for a life of crime and abuse.

It may not be ideal to place a child in a loving family where there is smoking in the house, or the family consider that smacking is part of the way of bringing up young children, but it is certainly far better than a child remaining within the care system.

AubreyMac

VfM4meplse wrote: »

This is a fair point.

It doesn't explain why you consider it acceptable to share with the rest of the world, though.

Sorry, share what with the world?


Going off topic but interesting discussion none the less.


As for original post, I'm not talking about hiding deep traumatic events from partner. But it does astound me that some do not know basic details especially those that have been together for a long time. There was a thread here not long ago saying some people do not know what their partners did as a job.

esmy

VfM4meplse wrote: »

How would the individual be identified by people other than themselves?

Their relatives, friends, neighbours, medical professionals, Aubreymacs colleagues, other potential adopters..... the list goes on...

Georgiegirl256

You're being highly unprofessional OP. You've gave away enough details for the couple in question (or even other people) to recognise they are being talked about. I can't believe you think it is ok to share such information on a public forum.

MacMickster

AubreyMac wrote: »

Sorry, share what with the world?

Part of a confidential conversation that you had with a client, on which you are passing judgement on their relationship on an internet forum. How do you consider that they will feel if they should identify themselves from your initial post having recently had that exact conversation as part of their (failed) adoption application? I would suspect that they would make a formal complaint and question your professional judgement.

Perhaps some people are too ready to share their life experiences with others. If you have shared these details and your thoughts about a client with a bunch of strangers on the internet, perhaps you share more details with your close friends, and in particular with your partner. If so, I think you need to find another job.

At the very least I think that you should consider deleting all details of that professional conversation from your posts on here.

duchy

AubreyMac wrote: »

Sorry, share what with the world?


Going off topic but interesting discussion none the less.


As for original post, I'm not talking about hiding deep traumatic events from partner. But it does astound me that some do not know basic details especially those that have been together for a long time. There was a thread here not long ago saying some people do not know what their partners did as a job.

Not everyone is as judgmental or "curious" perhaps or as willing to discuss other people's personal business with strangers.
If I knew who you worked for I'd be passing this thread to your employers for them to decide how appropriate your conduct is -I'm that appalled .

cbrown372

AubreyMac wrote: »

I don't have a degree and don't think I'm capable of obtaining one (I am a bit thick).

I am not sure on what I want to do but what I am good at probably wouldn't need a degree anyway but experience. I am better at creative 'hands on' tasks and anything that deals only with facts, so I reckon I would be a good mechanic/builder or doing something like airline data control but to be honest I don't want to do either.

I loathe and resent doing anything that requires any form of emotion/compassion. At the moment I work in social services which I found really interesting at first. But now (since my role has changed due to restructure) I hate the job and only stay because it's very secure and well paid which is important especially now that I have a 35 year mortgage.

I'll need to seriously think about re-training or doing another job soon though as I can feel that I'll need time off for stress by the end of the year if things stay the same.

This previous thread post says it all, you loathe and resent doing anything that requires any form of emotion/compassion?

You really do need to change your job.

VfM4meplse

esmy wrote: »

Their relatives, friends, neighbours, medical professionals, Aubreymacs colleagues, other potential adopters..... the list goes on...

If the couple hadn't placed sufficient importance on / seen the need to share their childhood memories with one another, they are unlikely to have told their wider circle that this information has been withheld. (And for all I know, it could be a cultural norm).

There are plenty of couples from Africa living in this country. So there is nothing identifiable about this couple.

The point of principle that my objection is based on is the need to releae anything considered to be sensitive information into the public domain without understanding the consequences.

balletshoes

AubreyMac wrote: »

Sorry, share what with the world?


Going off topic but interesting discussion none the less.


As for original post, I'm not talking about hiding deep traumatic events from partner.
But it does astound me that some do not know basic details especially those that have been together for a long time. There was a thread here not long ago saying some people do not know what their partners did as a job.

but whats "basic details" to you? thats subjective, is it not?
And whilst I know what my husband does for a job, my husband doesn't really know what I do (he knows I'm a civil servant, but thats about it, as honestly the job title changes with the wind, and what I actually do all day is incredibly boring-sounding).