Relationship issues

Pollycat

awolo1 wrote: »

but let's face it, this isn't the reason I started this post to be told that it's not funny. You haven't read the post properly. No pain was inflicted.

The point is he reacted in a way that was excessive. Your comments do not help me.

I'm sorry if my comments do not help you.

When you post on a public forum, you get all sorts of answers - some will be on topic, some won't.
You'll like some, you won't like others.

I did read the post properly.
I didn't think his reaction was excessive in any way.
I put that in my post.
That should have helped you to understand that not everyone has the same sense of humour that you have.

I think you are not suited to each other.
He clearly has a jealous personality. It's your choice if you wish to put up with that.

awolo1 wrote: »

The other day, his dog ran away from him after he clipped his hair. He went to look for the dog, but couldn't find it. He hasn't called the police or council dog warden or put up missing posters on lamp posts, etc. He says he has limits and patience and his dog has crossed the line. He will not look for the dog any further. He doesn't care about the dog and doesn't want it back. He said the dog is better off 'missing'.

He has thrown away his dog leads, yet the bowl of water and food remains on the floor.

When I've brought up the conversation to talk about his dog, he tells me to shut up and not to talk about it. If I try to tell him what I would do, he says he doesn't care. I've tried to ask him if he is upset that his dog is missing to which he replies yes.

He is contradicting himself by saying the bits in bold.
Maybe it's a language problem or you are not asking the right questions or maybe not asking in the right way to get to the bottom of why he is acting in this way.

awolo1 wrote: »

A month ago, he met my mother, and he was very nervous about this. He is openly gay and has had a previous relationship with somebody. We were talking for a while before he met my mother, I try to explain to him that she is very laid back, non judgmental and was really looking forward to meeting him. When they met, he actually got on with her and we all ended up going for coffee. At the end of the coffee, we went back to my family home, he would not step inside the house because my mothers partner was inside who he did not know. I had to force him to get him to go into the house to introduce himself. I was very embarrassed by this. I've try to discuss why he behaved like this but he doesn't like to go into the detail.

I don't think forcing someone to do something they don't want to do is very nice.
Do you think you are controlling?

awolo1 wrote: »

I'm not sure if it makes much difference, but he is Polish. I'm English, so I wonder whether there is any culture/language barriers, although his English is very good. I generally find that in our relationship I am repeating myself a lot which I find frustrating - or having to explain myself a number of times because he doesn't understand. However, this is something I can get over, it's not a deal breaker.

It seems like he has lost the plot. He is 30 if that helps.

If you have to keep repeating yourself and explaining yourself, I would question just how much English he actually understands.

Mojisola

awolo1 wrote: »

We were walking to the local town center once to get some breakfast, and I touched him on the neck with a 'pain pen' (it emits an electric shock), before I had even pressed the button, he got me by the arm - dug his nails into my wrist and caused them to bleed and bruise. His reaction was completely over the top.

If your pen is like this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Relief-Pen-Gone/dp/B0056PRXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449487924&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+pen - then his reaction was way over the top.

My Mum had one of them to help relieve pain. It gives a tiny tingle which doesn't hurt.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

If your pen is like this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Relief-Pen-Gone/dp/B0056PRXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449487924&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+pen - then his reaction was way over the top.

Not if he didn't know what it was.

Redacted

Mojisola wrote: »

If your pen is like this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Relief-Pen-Gone/dp/B0056PRXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449487924&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+pen - then his reaction was way over the top.

My Mum had one of them to help relieve pain. It gives a tiny tingle which doesn't hurt.

That presumes he knew what it was and that it wouldn't hurt. If he didn't know, I wouldn't consider the reaction over the top.

The op could just as easily mean this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/TRIMEX-Electric-Shock-Pen/dp/B000SO5KNK

awolo1

Mojisola wrote: »

If your pen is like this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Relief-Pen-Gone/dp/B0056PRXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449487924&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+pen - then his reaction was way over the top.

My Mum had one of them to help relieve pain. It gives a tiny tingle which doesn't hurt.

exactly, thats what it was.

Pollycat

Redacted wrote: »

That presumes he knew what it was and that it wouldn't hurt. If he didn't know, I wouldn't consider the reaction over the top.

The op could just as easily mean this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/TRIMEX-Electric-Shock-Pen/dp/B000SO5KNK

WOW!
That's pretty nasty:

Product Description

If you are like most people and need the gratification of seeing your victim actually being shocked, I have some useful suggestions. Ask your friend for their address and hand them a piece of paper and the shock pen. The next time you are at the doctor's office signing in, replace their standard pen with your shocking pen and watch the next patient get a hell of a rude awakening. Perhaps the most comedic use of the shocking pen would be to replace the pen being used at a wedding registry with your faux shocker after you have signed your name or better yet, how about replacing the registry pen at a funeral showing. Talk about instant classic prank! Please be aware Not advised for elderly people, people with pacemakers and pregnant ladies.

awolo1

Pollycat wrote: »

WOW!
That's pretty nasty:

I'm starting to take no notice of your comments, it was not an electric shock pen. See previous responses.

TBagpuss

Mojisola wrote: »

If your pen is like this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pain-Relief-Pen-Gone/dp/B0056PRXOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449487924&sr=8-1&keywords=pain+pen - then his reaction was way over the top.

My Mum had one of them to help relieve pain. It gives a tiny tingle which doesn't hurt.

Only if he knew that that was all it would be. It does seem like a fairly odd and immature thing to do to anyone.

OP, from your description, this man is jealous and controlling, he is either unwilling or unable to moderate his own behaviour and he comes across as quite immature as well.

It doesn't sound as though he is motivated to change his behaviour and attitude, which, combined with controllingand jealous beahviour would be a huge red flag for me.

I doubt this has to do with his nationality.

His attitude about the dog may, in part, be cultural and reflect different attitudes towards pets, but is also cinsistent with a very self-centred attitude (he misses the dog, but is not willing to make any effort to make sure it is OK or to try to find it). However, it will inevitably color how *you* feel about him.

In your position, I would end the relationship now, before you get in any further.

prosaver

Just read the discription..take it a funeral ?
eeeehh?

prosaver

No i think you should do more pranks on missery guts, serves him right. For shaving the dog bald
and let us know what you do
i might have some ideas..have anyone else?