Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

heuchera

This thread has taken an interesting turn :rotfl: I would imagine if there's a child involved people feel a bit rotten not sending the kid a card or present at Christmas.


But it's still disrespectful to disobey the parent's wishes. I had a friend at school who was a JW and never got birthday cards, nor could she join in our carol singing. But people respected that.


The parent might have weird (to us) beliefs - be it militant atheism or a religious cult, both much of a muchness in a way- but is it right to override that and disregard their wishes.

pickledonionspaceraider

heuchera wrote: »

This thread has taken an interesting turn :rotfl: I would imagine if there's a child involved people feel a bit rotten not sending the kid a card or present at Christmas.


But it's still disrespectful to disobey the parent's wishes. I had a friend at school who was a JW and never got birthday cards, nor could she join in our carol singing. But people respected that.


The parent might have weird (to us) beliefs - be it militant atheism or a religious cult, both much of a muchness in a way- but is it right to override that and disregard their wishes.

Ideally folk should have the respect to not force the issue of their religious beliefs on to a anyone who does not celebrate them

In the UK it is very multicultural and just because someone does not think the same as you, does NOT make them weird nor part of a cult. But it does people ignorant and short sighted if anyone thinks that

I never attend church, and I do not believe in the Christian God so why would I give and receive presents to celebrate Jesus birth?

I wonder how many people sitting down to turkey and presents actually believe in the religion they are celebrating and attend church regularly- or are there people feeling they must celebrate to fit in

heuchera

deleting my response because that person has thankfully now gone back in and edited their posts where they were name-calling.

pickledonionspaceraider

heuchera wrote: »

Finding something weird does not make someone ignorant! There are many belief systems which the word weird doesn't even begin to describe. But in fairness I did use the brackets (to us), just in case you missed it. *rolls eyes*

Of course it does, if you find someone weird merely because they are different to you. There are other turns of phrase - without using a negative put down. You could have said 'they are different' but you used an insult to describe a person who is not the same as you so yes, it is ignorant and ill informed and racist also as you were using it to describe a person who has different belief systems to you, and even assuming they may be in some kind of cult because they are not the same

Whether you use the term ''to us'' or not, means zero. Who are ''us'' anyway, please do not clump me in with this band of people

You are a very rude person - maybe you should take a step out of the front door and meet people, as there are so many people who are not identical to you

heuchera

I think someone's got out of bed the wrong side!

pickledonionspaceraider

heuchera wrote: »

I think someone's got out of bed the wrong side!

I think you should just stop.

notanewuser

heuchera wrote: »

This thread has taken an interesting turn :rotfl: I would imagine if there's a child involved people feel a bit rotten not sending the kid a card or present at Christmas.


.

Not to derail the thread, but until this year we've sent presents (birthday and christmas) and cards (birthday) up to DH's family who do do xmas in a reasonably big way. That's edible gifts for 8 adults and toys/clothes for 5 nieces and nephews, and we've travelled up during December for a family meal. DD has been given nothing for birthday or xmas by any of DH's brothers' families for 3+ years. She's 5.

This year we're not visiting or sending anything.

balletshoes

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Ideally folk should have the respect to not force the issue of their religious beliefs on to a anyone who does not celebrate them

In the UK it is very multicultural and just because someone does not think the same as you, does NOT make them weird nor part of a cult. But it does people ignorant and short sighted if anyone thinks that

I never attend church, and I do not believe in the Christian God so why would I give and receive presents to celebrate Jesus birth?

I wonder how many people sitting down to turkey and presents actually believe in the religion they are celebrating and attend church regularly- or are there people feeling they must celebrate to fit in

i'm agnostic - i love christmas for the extended family time when we can all relax because we're all on holiday from work/school, i love the food, i love the pressies, and i love the twinkly lights and tinsel everywhere. You could call it Ultimate Consumermas for me, it has nothing to do with "fitting in" with a religious aspect of the holiday for me, I do it because I love it .

notanewuser

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Ideally folk should have the respect to not force the issue of their religious beliefs on to a anyone who does not celebrate them

Not just religious beliefs. Since December 1st Santa seems to have been a daily topic of discussion between DD's teacher and the class. The thought of a christmas fair without a grotto was unthinkable, apparently, and "he" will be visiting the children during the school day this week. There's been no mention of this to parents - DD's teacher mentioned it in passing.

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I never attend church, and I do not believe in the Christian God so why would I give and receive presents to celebrate Jesus birth?

I wonder how many people sitting down to turkey and presents actually believe in the religion they are celebrating and attend church regularly- or are there people feeling they must celebrate to fit in

We have more of a festive gathering than a xmas. We don't celebrate on the 25th (or even in December sometimes). We do the things that are important or have meaning for us. Tree (pagan) and lights in honour of the solstice. Meal with each side of the family (just mine this year) with our favourite things. Sometimes turkey (I'm veggie so it doesn't affect me), other times a fish pie or some new veggie creation. A small stocking for DD with gifts that follow something wanted, needed, to read and to wear. Small kind acts towards others. We don't do the things we don't care about. We are going away just after xmas this year on a special holiday, so are more focused on that.

Im certainly not pounding the streets spending hundreds of quid on tat just because society thinks I should!

heuchera

notanewuser wrote: »

Not to derail the thread, but until this year we've sent presents (birthday and christmas) and cards (birthday) up to DH's family who do do xmas in a reasonably big way. That's edible gifts for 8 adults and toys/clothes for 5 nieces and nephews, and we've travelled up during December for a family meal. DD has been given nothing for birthday or xmas by any of DH's brothers' families for 3+ years. She's 5.

This year we're not visiting or sending anything.

Thankyou NANU I was just trying to think of reasons why people might send you cards when you've told them time and again that you don't celebrate xmas and don't want any!