Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

patanne

So basically we are just too stupid to understand!

Person_one

patanne wrote: »

So basically we are just too stupid to understand!

You really think that's what the above means?

missbiggles1

heuchera wrote: »

It might not be above board but how would one go about policing it?

How's that relevant to whether something's illegal?

Jagraf

Person_one wrote: »

All of us are influenced and affected by the norms of the society and the family we grow up in, and we all come under different influences as we get older.

Acknowledging the influences on our decisions isn't the same as saying that we aren't capable of making our own choices. It's about understanding all the factors that come to bear on those choices so we are in a better position to make the one that's really right for us.

i think most people would agree with you here and acknowledge that they do in fact have enough of an understanding to make their own choices. They don't need any more help from those who disagree with their choices. I don't want other women trying to tell me why I make the wrong choices. After all, they also only have their influences to draw upon as well.

heuchera

duchy wrote: »

Yet if she had stayed home with baby and her husband had only taken one day's leave - would you be equally scathing of him ?

The :eek: is a shocked smiley, not a scathing one. I see what you mean, but nature didn't make us equal where childbearing is concerned, unfortunately. It is madness to suggest that childbirth has the same effect on a man as it does a woman, or that a one day old baby needs its father in the same way that it needs its mother. I know that's not what you're saying, as such, but some people think men and women are exactly the same :huh:

(Text removed by MSE Forum Team)

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

, but some people think men and women are exactly the same :huh:

Who thinks that?

theoretica

I find it interesting that we still need Mr/ Miss/ Mrs/ Ms titles. Historically, they were a mark of social status and not everyone got them but that seems fairly obsolete. If Jane Smith were addressed as Jane, Smith or Jane Smith a certain degree of the naming problem would go away. It might also force form writers to justify why they want to know male or female.

LilElvis

heuchera wrote: »

I have even been asked outright at an interview if I was planning on starting a family :eek: I was in my late 20s at the time, so yes I suppose I would have been a 'maternity risk' (never heard that phrase before!).

I can see both sides though. Yes it is annoying that other people want to know your family planning (!!) and seem to assume that a woman of child-bearing age must want to have children, but equally it must be annoying to employ someone and train them up, only for them to announce that they're up the spout and [STRIKE]leaving[/STRIKE]taking the maternity leave to which they are legally entitled.

It's not discrimination insofar as men of course aren't going to need time off to have the baby, lol, and are less likely to be home looking after a young infant. Unless of course you're Karren Brady who seemed happy to dump her one-day-old daughter on a childminder while she went off and did more important things :eek:

Just amended that for you.

Personally I'm glad that women are protected from archaic preconceptions in the workplace, but very sad that some women seem to think that it is acceptable to be discriminated against simply because they have functioning ovaries.

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

i think most people would agree with you here and acknowledge that they do in fact have enough of an understanding to make their own choices. They don't need any more help from those who disagree with their choices. I don't want other women trying to tell me why I make the wrong choices. After all, they also only have their influences to draw upon as well.

Aren't the opinions and stances of other people one of the influences on us that can affect how we act though? A lot of my opinions were formed based on hearing about the experiences and thoughts of other people, and my views still change all the time on various subjects.

As I said, I started using Ms when I found out about others using it and their reasons why made sense to me. When I was last in a serious relationship years ago, I had every intention of taking my partner's name if we had married, but my opinion on that has since changed too. Other people who wanted to change my mind, mostly feminist writers, were indeed a big influence, and I'm glad they were!

patanne

The forms need to know what sex we are so that they can narrow down the companies that they sell our data on to. I would be more than happy to receive mail addressed to my 2 forename initials followed by my surname with no 'title' included at all.. After all a title really is only Sir, Lady, Dr etc etc mister master missus and miss (and my own ms) are not really titles in the strict sense and as such are pretty much irrelevant.