Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

tea_lover

The workplace aspects are one of the areas where I actually agree with notanewuser to some extent. I'm mid 30s and it's very evident that you're perceived differently during recruitment and in employment as a female. I wouldn't say it's direct discrimination as such, but people do sometimes view you as a maternity risk.

I think it's getting better in that employers are far less likely these days to act on that thought - but of course it still goes through their minds when they're making the choice.

Izadora

Pollycat wrote: »

Is that recently?

Seeing as my uncle died about 6 years ago, not ever so. It happened pretty regularly about 20 years ago and very occasionally about 10 years ago though.

MallyGirl

I happily changed my name from the double-barrelled one I had been teased for when I was a kid and could never fit into the boxes on application forms to a nice short easy to spell one that I would share with my husband. Never going to get divorced but if I did I would keep the married name.
My mother kept the double-barrel after her divorce as it was better than her maiden name - and only changed once she remarried nearly 30 years later.
Changing your name at banks/driving license/passport/insurance policies/etc involves sending your original marriage certificate off and crossing your fingers that it will come back and not get lost in the post. I'd never want to go through all that again.

Mojisola

MallyGirl wrote: »

Changing your name at banks/driving license/passport/insurance policies/etc involves sending your original marriage certificate off and crossing your fingers that it will come back and not get lost in the post. I'd never want to go through all that again.

All certificates are just copies of what is written in the register. Just buy another one and use that for identification.

tara747

pigpen wrote: »

I got married to get rid of my dads name.. I don't like him.. it hasn't been the name I've had to use since I was 19.. So I begrudgingly use the name of my abusive ex.. because that has been my name for more than half my life.. I don't want to use either but have to have a surname apparently.. I can't even just substitute my middle name as a surname because I don't have one!

So what do I do? My partner won't marry me so I can't borrow his that leaves me with no name I can use without shame.

My mother divorced in 1977 and used her married name until she remarried.. my stepdad didn't want his child to have my dads name on the birth certificate even if it was my mothers used name.

You can change your surname to anything you like. It doesn't have to be your dad's name, your ex's name, your current partner's name. Just choose whatever you fancy. It's quite exciting, I think.

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Ok I guess I you will think I'm odd then. I changed my name by deed poll and double barrelled it with my partner's. I really want to get married- partner wants commitment but not marriage as his parents marriage broke down so acrimoniously. I wear an Irish Claddagh ring on my left hand ring finger (both from Irish families) and have his surname but I'm adamant my title is, and will remain until I marry, Miss. None of this Ms caper for me and I know some women call themselves Mrs when they aren't married- not me though, I think that's quite strange.
My sister divorced and remarried but still mostly uses her old married name as it's the same as her two sons. The oldest has no time for his Dad and as he will be 18 soon wouldn't surprise me if he changes his name of his own volition. However the younger one is close to his Dad and he's keen on keeping his name.

Why did you change your name to his but remain Miss? If you're 'adamant that your title won't change until marriage', why change your surname? And was he OK about the surname change?

I'm genuinely curious.

missbiggles1

coolcait wrote: »

Or, to look at it another way, arguably that link shows that some countries have denied women the right to choose how they wish to be known.

How does that advance us?

With regard to the law in France, if the law says that people cannot use a name other than the one on their birth certificate, what impact does that have on those who are transgender?

How does it advance us if someone cannot change their name, even if they wish to do so?

Not much liberte and egalite there.

Fortunately, France has more sense than to make its laws around the needs of a tiny minority of people - I wish we had as much sense in the UK!

Jagraf

notanewuser wrote: »

:rotfl:

I'm an HR professional. If I had a tenner for every manager I've had to admonish for saying "so and so scored most highly, but she's a maternity risk" after a set of interviews I could probably retire now. Yes, there are anti-discrimination laws, no, we don't put dates of birth on applications or CVs any more, but these attitudes are still highly prevalent in many workplaces (and it's men and women discriminating against women of a certain age).

Gosh I worked in HR for years too and I don't think I ever came across a manager saying that, certainly not to my face anyway.

Jagraf

notanewuser wrote: »

Not trying to prove anything, as I said I just thought it was interesting. Women are now thinking this through rather than just taking a husband/spouse's name on marriage, and more people are opting not to for various reasons.

Yes they have choice. What they don't want is people telling them they made the right or wrong choice.

mumps

Jagraf wrote: »

Gosh I worked in HR for years too and I don't think I ever came across a manager saying that, certainly not to my face anyway.

I agree, Senior HR manager, retired earlier this year. The last time I heard that comment was in the early 80s when a female candidate for a job suggested to me that she would be a safer choice than another candidate because she already had children and the other woman might take maternity leave as she had no children.:eek::eek: Female solidarity.

mumps

Sarah Wollaston MP for Totnes is sometimes referred to as Dr Wollaston (I don't know how often as I haven't made a study of her.) I believe she used to be a GP. I don't know if she uses her husbands name but I always think she seems a good MP.

Thinking about it I think I might have heard her referred to as Dr Sarah Wollaston.