Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

mai_taylor

notanewuser wrote: »

Not sure if this is what you meant but I have an examples:

I had a job interview whilst newly engaged. I attended without my engagement ring because "engaged female in mid-20s" screams "maternity leave" to [STRIKE]most[/STRIKE] some employers and at that point in my life I had no intention of having children. Men don't generally wear engagement rings so this was me feeling uncomfortable about my relationship status as a female. I doubt a male candidate would need to think about this at all because employers don't generally make assumptions about male candidates' relationship status or potential fatherhood.

Haha seriously? :rotfl:

I think this is in your head that an employee would see you're engaged and assume you're about to pop out a load of kids. Don't wear an engagement ring, they can still see you're female and at an age where potentially you're looking to have children, or do you not put your date of birth on anything, or maybe you should just disguise yourself as a man next time you go for a job interview?

Pollycat

mai_taylor wrote: »

Haha seriously? :rotfl:

I think this is in your head that an employee would see you're engaged and assume you're about to pop out a load of kids. Don't wear an engagement ring, they can still see you're female and at an age where potentially you're looking to have children, or do you not put your date of birth on anything, or maybe you should just disguise yourself as a man next time you go for a job interview?

I think you might find that notanewuser was talking about something that happened a long time ago.

Mojisola

heuchera wrote: »

Getting back to the original question, personally would welcome the chance to change my surname on marriage because I don't want to be associated (or identify) with my birth father.

Why wait? You can change your name any time you like.

System

mumps wrote: »

My mother still used Mrs and my dads name but when you think about it a widow isn't married is she, I mean she can't be because she can get married again so if Mrs means a married woman a widow isn't really a Mrs is she? I have been in bed ill for a week and I am burning up, think the fever is back not sure if I am ill or this is making my head spin Think I will take a break.

Out of respect for my late husband, i'd still choose to keep the 'Mrs' part of my name until or if, i married again.

Unless my husband was a dirty rotten !!!!!! and then i'd ditch it as quick as the death certificate was signed.:D

I still wouldnt go back to my maiden name though.

Person_one

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you might find that notanewuser was talking about something that happened a long time ago.

It still happens though, sinc I've been a member on here (so only the last few years) I've seen an alarming amount of posts from employers who still express wariness about hiring women of childbearing age.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

Why wait? You can change your name any time you like.

It seems that ugly sounding, difficult to spell names, and bad relationships with fathers are a curse that only happens to women, as i'v never heard of men changing their names for these reasons. Not even the brothers of the women with the misspelt names and the terrible fathers!

Person_one

heuchera wrote: »

This seems to have been turned into a squabble by a couple of chippy posters, so I just wanted to point out that surnames were/are for identity and family heritage purposes, not to denote belonging to or being subservient to terrible men :rotfl: And in English surnames are not gender specific.

Surnames are for identity purposes, and until fairly recently in the scheme of things most women were identified by which man they were currently connected to/owned by.

Married women couldn't own property until 1870, and could be legally raped by their husband until 1992! So it seems strange to try to argue that marriage has always been the empowering, equal relationship it can and should be today.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Doesn't that rather assume we've taken our husbands' surnames in the first place or ever used the title Mrs?

I know you like nitpicking but I think it is obvious that you can't revert to a name you never changed or stop using a title you never used.

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

It seems that ugly sounding, difficult to spell names, and bad relationships with fathers are a curse that only happens to women, as i'v never heard of men changing their names for these reasons. Not even the brothers of the women with the misspelt names and the terrible fathers!

My ex changed his name just before he got married (not to me). He hadn't had any contact with his dad for years so changed to his mum's maiden name, which he still uses today. His wife then changed her name to that also when they got married. They did consider him changing to her maiden name but neither of them liked it (it is pretty bad!)

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

My ex changed his name just before he got married (not to me). He hadn't had any contact with his dad for years so changed to his mum's maiden name, which he still uses today. His wife then changed her name to that also when they got married. They did consider him changing to her maiden name but neither of them liked it (it is pretty bad!)

Have any of the men in her family changed from this awful name? Was she never tempted to change it while single, as it was pretty bad?