Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

tea_lover

I don't know her personally (did meet her in a pub once). She's my ex's ex-wife, not my best mate I do however know what her name was before she married and it certainly isn't one I'd be choosing to lumber myself with.

mumps

tea_lover wrote: »

My ex changed his name just before he got married (not to me). He hadn't had any contact with his dad for years so changed to his mum's maiden name, which he still uses today. His wife then changed her name to that also when they got married. They did consider him changing to her maiden name but neither of them liked it (it is pretty bad!)

I know a young man who changed his name to his mother's maiden name. I knew him in a professional capacity so I don't know the back story. Can't be the same person as he isn't married.

notanewuser

coolcait wrote: »

Or, to look at it another way, arguably that link shows that some countries have denied women the right to choose how they wish to be known.

How does that advance us?

With regard to the law in France, if the law says that people cannot use a name other than the one on their birth certificate, what impact does that have on those who are transgender?

How does it advance us if someone cannot change their name, even if they wish to do so?

Not much liberte and egalite there.

Good point. Hadn't thought of that.

notanewuser

Pollycat wrote: »

When I was starting work, it was just past the era of women getting married and leaving work to be a 'homemaker' (if it was financially possible).
My Aunt who is 10 years older than me left work the week before she married and has never worked since.

At that time, it was a common expectation that you would get married and have a baby and leave work so I can empathise with notanewuser's viewpoint.

I don't know how old notanewuser is but I'm in my early 60s and in those days, there was no such thing as 'political correctness'.

I'm late 30s.

notanewuser

Pollycat wrote: »

I think you might find that notanewuser was talking about something that happened a long time ago.

2002. Not that long, really.

notanewuser

mai_taylor wrote: »

Haha seriously? :rotfl:

I think this is in your head that an employee would see you're engaged and assume you're about to pop out a load of kids. Don't wear an engagement ring, they can still see you're female and at an age where potentially you're looking to have children, or do you not put your date of birth on anything, or maybe you should just disguise yourself as a man next time you go for a job interview?

:rotfl:

I'm an HR professional. If I had a tenner for every manager I've had to admonish for saying "so and so scored most highly, but she's a maternity risk" after a set of interviews I could probably retire now. Yes, there are anti-discrimination laws, no, we don't put dates of birth on applications or CVs any more, but these attitudes are still highly prevalent in many workplaces (and it's men and women discriminating against women of a certain age).

notanewuser

Jagraf wrote: »

I'm not sure what you are trying to prove by your link, other than women are making their own choices about what to call themselves, in exactly the same way as they are on this thread.

Not trying to prove anything, as I said I just thought it was interesting. Women are now thinking this through rather than just taking a husband/spouse's name on marriage, and more people are opting not to for various reasons.

morocha

You get used to the name. I got married in my early twenties and I got divorced this year, 10 years later.

My married name is who I am now, my life as an adult I guess, despite having 2 kids so I want to keep the same surname.
My maiden name is a lovely one and I like it very much I just use it for jobs ( language tutor) but passport, bank accounts and everything else is in my married name.

Mojisola

GingerBob wrote: »

Utter garbage. It's a tradition, and one that the majority of women have no problem with. Only militant feminists object.

It's a tradition now but it used to be the law.

After marriage, a husband and wife became one person in law. The woman ceased to exist as a legal being. With a tradition coming from that origin, is it really surprising that some women prefer not change their surname?

Pollycat

notanewuser wrote: »

I'm late 30s.

notanewuser wrote: »

2002. Not that long, really.

Then I'm quite surprised at your post. :eek: