Can I Fix This?

spud30

You're back :T :T :T

We have been worried, as you might have noticed :rolleyes:

You should have been back sooner. That's what we're here for hun, to help if we can, or just listen to you rant if we cant

I'm so pleased your back

Jo4

Glad to hear from you and that you are alright. How is your sister?

ciarasdreams

Firstly I am very sorry for all of the worry that I have caused and will not do it again. Secondly I will now let you know what has been happening to me and my family recently. The day after my last post my sister unexpectedly became extremely unwell while in hospital which was something to do with a blood clot that had moved by itself after the accident and ended up in the intensive care unit where she stayed for almost three weeks. She has been getting much better every day since then but was kept in hospital until last week when they finally let her go home. I really did not cope very well with this at all and found myself having all sorts of horrible thoughts about just how awful life without her around would be and then feeling really guilty for even considering the possibility that she might not actually survive. My brother in law was even worse than me and was in absolute bits and I was really rubbish at trying to be supportive for him because even although I tried my best I just did not know what to say or do mostly because my sister has always been the one that helps and supports everybody in every crisis and I have never needed to it before now. My parents are now just about not speaking to either me or my sister because neither of us sent anything for Christmas which I think is a bit unreasonable especially considering what was going on at the time especially since they did not actually bother to visit the hospital even once. :mad: I did actually take the gifts from my sister which she had bought and wrapped probably since the beginning of October or even earlier down to them the week after Christmas but this did not appease them in any way at all. When I was home things went from bad to worse which really did not seem possible at the time but they did. I went out for a few drinks with an old group of friends that my sister had been encouraging me to rebuild some bridges with and managed to run straight into my ex who has not stopped harrassing me ever since because he is convinced that I should move home and give our relationship another chance. :mad:

Ellidee

Oh Ciara what a terrible time you have all had. And despite the fact that your sister was in intensive care your parents were more concerned about xmas presents than visiting their daughter ? You going to visit them afterwards was more than they deserved and look where it got you. Grrr :mad: Hope your sister is well and truly on the mend now and sending big hugs to you both and your bil. This year things can only get better. XX

serena

Ciara sweetheart, I have just bumped into your thread, quite by chance. I am so sorry that you and your sister have had such a rotten time. I'm currently trying to cope with my mother's severe stroke, at the end of August, still in hospital, and I haven't been coping too well. Someone on Old Style, said to me today, that there isn't one accepted pattern of coping or not. You shouldn't beat yourself up because of the way you reacted. You did the very best you could, and that is all you could ever do.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't feel that I could in any way comment on anything else, but, have a big (((hug))) to be going on with.

Serena

ps My New Year's wish is to spend much less time in hospitals this year...

ciarasdreams

Ellidee wrote: »

Oh Ciara what a terrible time you have all had. And despite the fact that your sister was in intensive care your parents were more concerned about xmas presents than visiting their daughter ? You going to visit them afterwards was more than they deserved and look where it got you. Grrr :mad: Hope your sister is well and truly on the mend now and sending big hugs to you both and your bil. This year things can only get better. XX

Thank you for the hugs they are much appreciated. My sister has made a unilateral decision for all of our family and has declared that Christmas did not in fact really happen in December this year and will be happening at the end of February complete with the tree and the Christmas dinner and the presents instead and I quite like this idea. It was shocking seeing her husband like that because he is usually so different and totally in control of himself and I have never seen him like that in all the years that I have known him. Sadly that is just our parents which is probably part of the reason why we are such a disfunctional family and not very close. I only went to visit because I felt guilty because my sister always does it and never complains about it despite all of the hassle that it causes her and even comes up with plausible excuses for why I rarely manage to get there these days.

ciarasdreams

serena wrote: »

Ciara sweetheart, I have just bumped into your thread, quite by chance. I am so sorry that you and your sister have had such a rotten time. I'm currently trying to cope with my mother's severe stroke, at the end of August, still in hospital, and I haven't been coping too well. Someone on Old Style, said to me today, that there isn't one accepted pattern of coping or not. You shouldn't beat yourself up because of the way you reacted. You did the very best you could, and that is all you could ever do.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't feel that I could in any way comment on anything else, but, have a big (((hug))) to be going on with.

Serena

ps My New Year's wish is to spend much less time in hospitals this year...

I am so sorry about your situation with your mother and really hope that everything gets better for you and your family very soon.

spud30

Ciara, I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time.

Glad to hear your sister is on the mend - you sound like you coped as well as any of us would have under the circumstances hun.

As for your mum, I'd better not comment. I might be banned for saying what I'd like to say

ciarasdreams

spud30 wrote: »

Ciara, I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time.

Glad to hear your sister is on the mend - you sound like you coped as well as any of us would have under the circumstances hun.

As for your mum, I'd better not comment. I might be banned for saying what I'd like to say

It was not the best time ever and I hope that I never have to deal with anything like that ever again especially not when I am starting a new job. As for our mother it really is just the way that things are and it will never change and it is really not worth bothering about too much which I am not always as good at as I should be.

spud30

Your mum sounds very much like my mother in law - enough said

Remember we're always here hun, even if you just need to have a rant.

How's the new job going?