Can I Fix This?

Ellidee

Hmm yes I think I see . You somehow feel guilty that if you accept their offer you are getting off too lightly ? But just look at how much you've paid off in just a couple of months. It doesn't have to take 18 years to repay them. I truly believe that you have learned your lesson and that now you should forgive yourself ,take up their generous offer and move on and have a wonderful life. XX

spud30

You have an amazing family there dont you !!!!!

I'm also pretty sure you have learnt your lesson, your lightbulb is fully on and you will never make the same mistakes again.

ciarasdreams

spud30 wrote: »

You have an amazing family there dont you !!!!!

I'm also pretty sure you have learnt your lesson, your lightbulb is fully on and you will never make the same mistakes again.

I know that she is well and truly amazing and my brother in law is not that bad either only I never really realised it before now and before I really needed them and their support. I think that I have totally learned my lesson about money and credit and I think that I will never have any again for as long as I live which will hopefully be a very long time. I have hopefully learned to be a bit more discerning when it comes to future relationships as well because I never want to live through the last year ever again either.

spud30

I agree - I never want to feel this bad about debt again.

What I think is fantasic is my year 7 daughter came home with homework all abour APR's and bank accounts - they're doing it in Life Ed.

ciarasdreams

spud30 wrote: »

I agree - I never want to feel this bad about debt again.

What I think is fantasic is my year 7 daughter came home with homework all abour APR's and bank accounts - they're doing it in Life Ed.

Although I still feel really stupid and embarassed about it I am now constantly reminding myself of what my sister said to me in my earlier darker days which was that I made a few bad decissions but everybody does that at some point in their life no matter how much some might pretend that they have not because making mistakes is what makes us all and keeps us all human. But my favourite bit is that in the grander scheme of things what I have done is really not that awful because I have not killed anybody or caused any individual any irrepairable damage or purposefully hurt them so I really should never feel guilty about it unless I choose not to learn from it. I really love the way that her mind works even although it can also scare me a bit at times. :rotfl: I love the idea that some schools are actually teaching children about the reality of managing money because it really does come as a horrible shock when as an adult you suddenly realise that all that free money really was not so free after all and that they want it and lots more besides back but this has not been done sadly at any of the schools where I have trained or worked yet but it might be different when I move north.

roxy7699

Hiya,
I also think you have learnt your lesson, the amount you have managed to pay off already and the sacifices that you have made are huge and you are still making them now. I think to save blemishing your record anymore it could be wise to accept bil as the new debt man. I think it will also be better as they will be more lenient should an emergency come up and you end up in a hole with no funds out and a payment still to make - if you know what I mean.

ciarasdreams

roxy7699 wrote: »

Hiya,
I also think you have learnt your lesson, the amount you have managed to pay off already and the sacifices that you have made are huge and you are still making them now. I think to save blemishing your record anymore it could be wise to accept bil as the new debt man. I think it will also be better as they will be more lenient should an emergency come up and you end up in a hole with no funds out and a payment still to make - if you know what I mean.

Thank you I know exactly what you mean and that is what makes so apealing but also at the same time very unapealing which I know probably makes absolutely no sense to anybody other than me. I think that what really worries me though is that as soon as he has paid it off my brother in law will just consider this money as something to be written off as a loss because I still have about £10,000 of their money in bank account from when my sister settled some of my accounts by paying by switch while I was waiting for my cheques to clear and even although he knows now that I have it and that my sister was not up to goodness knows what during his deployment he has never once even mentioned it even although I only ever told him about my situation so that he would take it back.

roxy7699

If he does try to write it off you can always save it aside yourself as a good will gesture for when the littleun is grown. What were the consequences with the debt collecter - they want it now or what? Is there a compromise?

ciarasdreams

roxy7699 wrote: »

If he does try to write it off you can always save it aside yourself as a good will gesture for when the littleun is grown. What were the consequences with the debt collecter - they want it now or what? Is there a compromise?

The debt collectors told me that no matter what income that I have or outgoings that I have I have 2 years from the date of first contact with them which was June thanks to my sister getting involved to clear the debt entirely or they will begin court proceedings against me to seize my wages. :mad:

sammy115

If the debt collector started proceedings against you to collect the debt the worst that can happen is you will end up with a County court judgement. Now you are not going to go out and get more credit and you are not into getting a mortgage at the moment, so a CCJ as opposed to a default is just not a bigger deal.

If you get a CCJ you will have to supply the court with a list of your incomings and outgoings and you will have to pay what the court thinks you can afford, which to be honest will probably be no different than what you are paying now. The debt collectors work on commission on what they collect, they don't want this to go to court but they are trying to frighten you into paying them rather than others.

I know you owe the money and you are feeling incredibly guilty about this, but think about it, the people who shout loudest get heard! Do not be bullied into doing something you are not comfortable with. The court will not 'seize' your wages at all. The only way this will happen is if you get a CCJ and you don't pay the court.

I would also urge you to think carefully about borrowing money from the BIL.
You are a big girl and you CAN take care of yourself.......Visualise yourself as strong and determined and the next time the debt collectors ring, say politely and firmly that you are paying what you can afford and will continue to do so - and then put the phone down and make a note of the date and time they have called. In fact write to them and tell them that you would like to only correspond them via letter.

You have come a long way, and I am not talking about the debt reduction either.....