Housekeeping money to your parents/from your children

Alleycat

To properly answer the OP's question, it would really depend on your financial position. You'd ideally look to cover your basic costs of having your mother to live with you i.e. increased utilities, food, housekeeping. But you could look at splitting other bills which she would have had to pay had she kept up her previous home such as telephone, TV licence. It really does depend on your and her means and the way you all view the set up.

Also, if she is contributing in another way i.e. providing childcare that she wasn't before or cleaning, cooking etc then that could potentially cancel out any living costs if you no longer have to pay for that.

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. Though I definitely think that if she is able, she should contribute something.

VfM4meplse

Alleycat wrote: »

I don't post often so I know I'm not that well known on here anymore, but seriously Vfm you do tend to be a little holier than thou. Whilst I'm sure most of us would love to support our parents we can't all. But ultimately, why should we?

Because we want to? If we want to, that is. There's nothing holy about that but the reaction to my view is extreme.

Pollycat

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Oh dear, would you like the link for the comprehension test again?

Grow up, it's well last your bedtime and tomorrow is a school day after all :rotfl:

What happened to being a nice person?

VfM4meplse

Pollycat wrote: »

What happened to being a nice person?

Twas a demonstration of being unholy :A

scooby088

When I started work at 16, I got to keep my first weeks wages but my mom said I need board money from you and I offered £25 per week which she accept, I was only picking up maximum of £60 per week. At 16 i didn't have any out goings and really felt I was really contributing to the household.

There are people from the school of we will take board money but save it for them for a deposit, well that doesn't really help them in the long term, at the moment me and OH strongly disagree on board money i believe in taking it and she doesn't. But I see if you don't take it then you will continue to in my eyes wiping their behind for them.

Domayne

I still live with my parents. I pay my mum £300 a month now.
I wouldn't dream of living there in my 30s and freeloading off of them.
I make enough money that I can rent elsewhere but I will more than likely stay there until they die...or I do. Why?
Well I live in London and do not want to pay £1000 a month just on rent. I also don't want to live a student life in a shared house and potentially end up living with people that I hate and having to bounce from one shared house to another.
My parents house is clean, warm, I have my own space and I actually like them, more than a stranger so why should I move out when it works out nicely for all involved?
Plus I have a dog and I work 12 hour days, I wouldn't be able to keep him at home alone all day so my mum looks after him

dopke139

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Unbelievable!

If this is a serious post...... Then why don't you move out?! No-one is holding a gun to your head are they?!

I very much intend on moving out, but until recently I haven't been in a position to do so, financially.

TBagpuss

dopke139 wrote: »

I very much intend on moving out, but until recently I haven't been in a position to do so, financially.

I think this is the crux of the matter. If you have't bneen in a position to move out, then that presumably means that it would have been more expensive, over all, for you to live elsewhere. If that is the case then you have benefited, finacially, from being able to live at home.

if your mother had chosen to subsidise your living costs then you would have benefited more, but wither way, you have benefited.

Presumably your mother's higher salary and ability to spend money on holidays is the result of her having built up her career - why should she not enjoy the fruits of her labour?

You mentioned that she did your laundry for you - do you do anything for her? Have you discussed with her suggestions for ways to split household tasks?

I do understand that it is frustrating to feel that she doesn't need the money and you do (or that she neds it less than you do) but atthe end of the day, as an independent adult, you are not owed a free ride by anyone, even your parents. What she does with the money you pay is none of yur business, any more than it would be any of your business what a landlord spends their profit on, provided that they are maintaining the property.

£200 per month is £46 a week. I don't know what the norm is where you live but some years ago I decided to take in a lodger for a whiel. I did some research and found that the going rate for a room in a shred house or for a lodger was about £65 per week plus bills. That was at least 5 years ago so may be on the low side.
If your area is similr, that would mean that by living at home you will have saved around £1,000 over the past year *and* got all your laundry done, which is not a bad deal.

Faith177

dopke139 wrote: »

Against my better judgement, I live at home with my mum and pay her £200 a month for a bedroom so small you can't fit a double bed (A room in which I paid for the carpet, bed, paint, blinds - everything!). I pay all my own bills (internet/phone/television etc) and buy all my own food/toiletries. She does however wash my clothes and my god does she let me know it!

Contrary to feeling like her son who she loves and likes to have around, I feel like an unwelcome tenant to a miserable landlord and despite my best efforts to stay out of her way in my humble little dwelling and to bend my lifestyle to accommodate her every unreasonable whim, she still finds cause to complain at every turn.

Since I've been working I've paid her £8500 - the true source of my resentment; because that would have made a lovely deposit on a place of my own.

I wouldn't mind if the money I was giving was actually needed, but the house itself is paid off and the costs of living here are minimal - the £200 I give her each month is literally just subsidising her own (already considerably greater than mine) salary so she can go on expensive cruises and the like.

I'm now in a job where I earn good money, so I've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel, I can almost taste the freedom - it just grates on me that over the years she's had no interest in helping me get on, but instead just milked me to boost her already large income.

Is it just me?

TBH I think you are getting a good deal my housemate pays my brother £320 a month for his room that includes bills and sometimes he puts an extra bit on the gas or electric if he's been using his electric fire or had to do extra washing

He pays for his own food and his own netflix but he does have access to the whole house and I'll occasionally do his washing for him if he's on a quick changeover for work.

As for feeling annoyed you have given her £8500 how much do you think she's spent on you between the ages of 0-16?? Just because she's your mum doesn't mean she has to help you get your own place your an adult if you want something go out and get it.

I don't know how old you are OP but just to put it in perspective when I was 16 and got my first part time job I paid my mum £120 in rent so £30 a week which was a good chunk of my wage then. My mum didn't ask I offered my belief was that now I was earning I should start paying into the household as my mum shouldn't have to support me my whole life.

By making you pay everything and treating you as a tenant your mum has actually probably done you a favour as it has taught you to budget and prioritise your bills

Vikipollard

dopke139 wrote: »

Against my better judgement, I live at home with my mum and pay her £200 a month for a bedroom so small you can't fit a double bed (A room in which I paid for the carpet, bed, paint, blinds - everything!). I pay all my own bills (internet/phone/television etc) and buy all my own food/toiletries. She does however wash my clothes and my god does she let me know it!

Contrary to feeling like her son who she loves and likes to have around, I feel like an unwelcome tenant to a miserable landlord and despite my best efforts to stay out of her way in my humble little dwelling and to bend my lifestyle to accommodate her every unreasonable whim, she still finds cause to complain at every turn.

Since I've been working I've paid her £8500 - the true source of my resentment; because that would have made a lovely deposit on a place of my own.

I wouldn't mind if the money I was giving was actually needed, but the house itself is paid off and the costs of living here are minimal - the £200 I give her each month is literally just subsidising her own (already considerably greater than mine) salary so she can go on expensive cruises and the like.

I'm now in a job where I earn good money, so I've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel, I can almost taste the freedom - it just grates on me that over the years she's had no interest in helping me get on, but instead just milked me to boost her already large income.

Is it just me?

Get over yourself and move out, instead of behaving like a spoilt whining brat. You get the last laugh when it comes to picking her care home FGS!

If you seriously expect to gain a mortgage plus council tax and utilities for less than £200 a month you need to wake up. It's your choice to live there. So either suck it up, or ship out.