Housekeeping money to your parents/from your children

HappyMJ

We've had this debate a few times before.

This is what I would do. I currently give my child the child benefit £20.70 per week. She get's that to buy anything she wants. I provide everything she needs i.e the roof over her head with food on the table and basic clothing.

If I'm no longer entitled to claim that due to them finishing education or training I'll still give them £20.70 per week whilst living at home but I'll charge them the amount of JSA that they would be entitled to which being 18 or over would be £57.90 per week if under 25 or £73.10 if over 25.

The reason I'd charge that is there is no excuse "I can't afford it". You either work or you claim benefits and you live on £20.70 a week as you've always done. I think £20 a week is more than enough money to support one self. I don't think single people over 25 on JSA in their own flat even have £20 left over each week. They probably have pennies left over after paying all the bills.

I think it's quite cheap. She's more than welcome to move out and pay at least £60 per week for a small room in a house share with no food included.

shoe*diva79

My daughter is 17 and full time student at college but also has a part time job in retail. She earns anything from £200 - £450 a month depending how many hours she picks up (more at the moment due to the time of year!).

I currently do not take any house keeping from her. She has to pay for her own mobile phone credit and bus tickets to and from work. All the time I am in receipt of child benefit/tax credits for her, I wont charge her.

dopke139

Against my better judgement, I live at home with my mum and pay her £200 a month for a bedroom so small you can't fit a double bed (A room in which I paid for the carpet, bed, paint, blinds - everything!). I pay all my own bills (internet/phone/television etc) and buy all my own food/toiletries. She does however wash my clothes and my god does she let me know it!

Contrary to feeling like her son who she loves and likes to have around, I feel like an unwelcome tenant to a miserable landlord and despite my best efforts to stay out of her way in my humble little dwelling and to bend my lifestyle to accommodate her every unreasonable whim, she still finds cause to complain at every turn.

Since I've been working I've paid her £8500 - the true source of my resentment; because that would have made a lovely deposit on a place of my own.

I wouldn't mind if the money I was giving was actually needed, but the house itself is paid off and the costs of living here are minimal - the £200 I give her each month is literally just subsidising her own (already considerably greater than mine) salary so she can go on expensive cruises and the like.

I'm now in a job where I earn good money, so I've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel, I can almost taste the freedom - it just grates on me that over the years she's had no interest in helping me get on, but instead just milked me to boost her already large income.

Is it just me?

VfM4meplse

dopke139 wrote: »

Against my better judgement, I live at home with my mum and pay her £200 a month for a bedroom so small you can't fit a double bed (A room in which I paid for the carpet, bed, paint, blinds - everything!). I pay all my own bills (internet/phone/television etc) and buy all my own food/toiletries. She does however wash my clothes and my god does she let me know it!

Contrary to feeling like her son who she loves and likes to have around, I feel like an unwelcome tenant to a miserable landlord and despite my best efforts to stay out of her way in my humble little dwelling and to bend my lifestyle to accommodate her every unreasonable whim, she still finds cause to complain at every turn.

Since I've been working I've paid her £8500 - the true source of my resentment; because that would have made a lovely deposit on a place of my own.

I wouldn't mind if the money I was giving was actually needed, but the house itself is paid off and the costs of living here are minimal - the £200 I give her each month is literally just subsidising her own (already considerably greater than mine) salary so she can go on expensive cruises and the like.

I'm now in a job where I earn good money, so I've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel, I can almost taste the freedom - it just grates on me that over the years she's had no interest in helping me get on, but instead just milked me to boost her already large income.

Is it just me?

My goodness, I would like to think so. If its not the world has become a very sad place.

You might be in a better position both emotionally and financially if you rented a room on someone else's home whilst you save up. At least that way you have a chance of reducing the ill-feeling that has built up between the two of you.

Lily-Rose_3

dopke139 wrote: »

Against my better judgement, I live at home with my mum and pay her £200 a month for a bedroom so small you can't fit a double bed (A room in which I paid for the carpet, bed, paint, blinds - everything!). I pay all my own bills (internet/phone/television etc) and buy all my own food/toiletries. She does however wash my clothes and my god does she let me know it!

Contrary to feeling like her son who she loves and likes to have around, I feel like an unwelcome tenant to a miserable landlord and despite my best efforts to stay out of her way in my humble little dwelling and to bend my lifestyle to accommodate her every unreasonable whim, she still finds cause to complain at every turn.

Since I've been working I've paid her £8500 - the true source of my resentment; because that would have made a lovely deposit on a place of my own.

I wouldn't mind if the money I was giving was actually needed, but the house itself is paid off and the costs of living here are minimal - the £200 I give her each month is literally just subsidising her own (already considerably greater than mine) salary so she can go on expensive cruises and the like.

I'm now in a job where I earn good money, so I've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel, I can almost taste the freedom - it just grates on me that over the years she's had no interest in helping me get on, but instead just milked me to boost her already large income.

Is it just me?

Unbelievable!

If this is a serious post...... Then why don't you move out?! No-one is holding a gun to your head are they?!

VfM4meplse

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Unbelievable!

If this is a serious post...... Then why don't you move out?! No-one is holding a gun to your head are they?!

Here we go...!

Perhaps you might like to view post #14 before you really get going.

Lily-Rose_3

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Here we go...!

Perhaps you might like to view post #14 before you really get going.

I wasn't talking to you! I was talking to Dopke. Pretty obvious as I quoted him!!!

I couldn't give a fluff what you do (or don't do!)

enthusiasticsaver

In the late 70s when I first left college and got my first job my parents were reasonably well off and just asked for a contribution towards food which was minimal. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) lived with his divorced mum who split all the bills down the middle and asked him to pay half so in fact 75% of his wages were going to her. She had struggled financially though to bring him up so I guess she felt that she was due some payback.


When our daughters left University they mostly lived independently in their own rented flats but both of them at some point came back to live at home to save up for house deposits and we did not ask them for rent but they did save and were able to buy their own houses a few years later, with our help. Both of them from time to time though would do a weekly shop and not let us pay for it or take us out for the odd meal much to our protest.


I feel that we can afford to support them and they are just starting out so want to help them as much as possible but they have both shown themselves to be sensible with money over the years as they have both been doing weekend jobs since the age of 16. Now they both have jobs and mortgages and are living independently but it would have taken them longer to get there if we had not given them a helping hand as did my mum and dad with me.

Lily-Rose_3

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Oh dear, would you like the link for the comprehension test again?

Grow up, it's well last your bedtime and tomorrow is a school day after all :rotfl:

OMG, what ARE you on about?

Stop bugging me. Go on shoo shoo!!! :mad:

I was not even TALKING to you on this thread! Good grief!

Alleycat

I don't post often so I know I'm not that well known on here anymore, but seriously Vfm you do tend to be a little holier than thou. Whilst I'm sure most of us would love to support our parents we can't all. But ultimately, why should we?

Our parents are presumably earning a pension each month which will be more than covering clothing, activity etc costs so why should they move from having to pay all the bills to paying no bills and increasing their savings whilst some families are depleting theirs by paying to support them?

No child asked to be born. Some people had great parents (myself included) some had rubbish parents. Regardless, why should a parent expect to live completely free of charge whilst still having an income that is building up over and above their kids?