Quit everything , and start again over 50?

grunnie

anna_1977 wrote: »

Hi Grunnie,
I am currently with a dog and 2 kids (gone to uni end of September) so I don't think any friends would want all of us. My parents have said I could stay with them but I only would if I had an end date to leave - they would also specify that.

I need to work out whether to just stay put for the time being. I was moving out of choice rather than necessity - interestingly over the last 2 days 3 properties have come on the market in town. They are all 4 bed so wouldn't be a downsize in size or price but does indicate that things are coming up

A student and a 4 bed house - you could let a room out if you wanted to another student.

another_casualty

Smodlet wrote: »

What LL said when she said (sorry LL, paraphrasing now) stop whining, blaming everyone else for everything that is wrong with your life and either man up or shut up! You come across as if the world would stop rotating on its axis if you saw a spider! While I appreciate people have phobias (I hate creepy crawlies myself) the fact is, we don't live in Australia! If your maisonette were overrun with spiders/insects, you would survive, AC! You would either deal with the infestation yourself by buying sealant and applying it wherever the little blighters gained ingress or you would call the council/pest controller, or both.

I think your trouble, imho, is you have no life outside of work so expect it to fulfill all of your emotional needs. Been there, done that, it does not work and it very rarely happens. You constantly complain, fixate on insignificant, little details like ceiling fans for your flat, tower fans at work, yet lack the impetus to do anything about it, seemingly. You constantly criticise your colleagues/boss but have you stopped to wonder for one second what they really think of you?

What first attracted me to your thread was how amazingly brave you seemed to be, to be willing to change your life so drastically at over 50 years of age... when do you think that might happen?

I want to thank you, AC, Gallygirl, Anna, Tuesday Tenor, all the other lovely people I have met via your thread, and especially you, LL, for making me feel so welcome and helping me to build my confidence on here. I nearly left so many times and there were times when you guys, and especially you, AC, with your, "anything to make you smile, Smodlet" post, kept me going.



Now, come on, AC! Either decide what you want and go for it or give up and stay put, but do yourself a favour and stop vacillating.

I am sorry to sound 'the victim', smodlet , and hope that you never experience the grief I have had over the last 10 years . I hope that you do not suffer with anything like the life changing experience of having myasthenia gravis . I had never had much time from work,,and gave my all into the company. Even running the department solely for 2 months with only 1 eye fully functioning , never asking for any help, sympathy etc. This when I was misdiagnosed with. Bell's palsy . It was only last year I got proper diagnosis of m g . Then I was kickec when I was down . I ended up getting a final written warning just for defending myself .

I overdid it being bitter about work . This is obviously one of the main reasons why I will change my life . It obviously needs changing if I'm depressing people on this thread . There are many people worse off than myself obviously .

I will shut up now .

Thank you

Smodlet

How do you know I have not been where you are? I have, more than once. Not with your particular medical condition, but there are others caused by working in a toxic environment. In so many ways your life and the way mine used to be are so similar, AC. I have been incredibly lucky; I found "the one", as LL clearly did. I wish that for you. It makes everything so much easier to bear. That is why I admired you so much for even thinking of changing your life so much. The older you become, the harder it is to do that... are you going to do that?

lessonlearned

The most valuable lesson in life is to learn never to prejudge people and never underestimate just what we humans are capable of.

The human spirit is an an amazing thing, and the human body is a fantastic piece of kit. Both can overcome seemingly overwhelming obstacles. Bodies can heal, broken hearts can mend and we can rebuild shattered lives.

All it takes is the courage to take that leap of faith, to keep an open mind and a stout heart.;)

candygirl

AC , I don't have the same work probs as you, but that's only because i am now unable to work due to disability.However in the past, i've endured some horrific work situations.
I think the tips given by other stalwarts on this thread, are brilliant, and reasonably achievable.If I was you, i'd get my finger out, n do the little jobs to sell your flat asap.
I really am looking forward to a happy ending to your journey

lessonlearned

The world of work..........:rotfl:

I've had 33 jobs, had several little sideline enterprises, owned and ran two of my own companies, been a director in my husband's company, done several types of voluntary work.

Some jobs were great, some were awful but each one taught me something. It was usually the horrible jobs that taught me the most valuable lessons.

And I've not done yet......and neither have you AC.

You can still "change your stars". You are never too old to reinvent yourself and it's never too late to start again.

Joan Collins once said that life was like a three act play. Just as the third act is the best part of the play, the dramatic and exciting finale, so it is in life, when our third act can represent the best years of our lives.

AC don't languish in the doldrums of your second act.......kick start your third act so you can start enjoying the golden years.

Smodlet

LL, I think you should write a book; possibly a self-help book but certainly your memoirs. I think it would be a fascinating read. You are an amazing person and I feel privileged to have made your cyber-acquaintance.

lessonlearned

Why thank you......

Actually I have started my memoirs. I made a start whilst I was on the cruise last year. I have completed Act 1 - problem is I keep remembering things I missed :rotfl: I've made a few notes for act 2, will probably write that when I go to Cyprus next year.

Another hot day here. A little light gardening at some point - no lifting or bending, nothing too strenuous. Still getting a lot of headaches from the whiplash.

Start the Physio treatment plan week, twice a week for ten weeks. I shall be a new woman.

I just want to get to a stage where I can cope with taking dad to Belgium. I must try and start exercising again next week, even if it's just a daily 30 minute walk. I've only got 3 weeks to sort myself out.:eek:

When we we booked the trip I encouraged dad to embark on a fitness programme. He has exercised religiously every day and at 90 he is now probably fitter than I am.

lessonlearned

SUsie. What an interesting post.

Sounds like you made some great decisions, the best of course moving out of London and starting a new less stressful life. Sounds like your Act 3 is set to be a good one.

another_casualty

candygirl wrote: »

AC , I don't have the same work probs as you, but that's only because i am now unable to work due to disability.However in the past, i've endured some horrific work situations.
I think the tips given by other stalwarts on this thread, are brilliant, and reasonably achievable.If I was you, i'd get my finger out, n do the little jobs to sell your flat asap.
I really am looking forward to a happy ending to your journey

Thanks candy girl
Thanks to everyone here also .
Have just had my monthly acupuncture session .
Feel much much better now
Recommend it to anyone . If I could do it weekly I would .
Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine