Quit everything , and start again over 50?

lessonlearned

You are forgiven......:rotfl:

I've sent you a PM, with suggestions on how to make amends at work. Some grovelling might be required....;)

An old boss of mine, who became a great personal friend and fantastic mentor, once gave me the following piece of sage advice.

He said "life is a game, and you need to play to win". He said no matter what you are feeling, how much people p&ss you off, no matter that you think they are all idiots just smile back, it really disarms them and throws them into disarray. The don't know how to react and it gives you the upper hand. He was right of course.

You just need to charm the pants off them.....lol.

Over the years I have added my own take to his sound advice .........when you want something the carrot always works better than the stick.

We can't choose our family, our bosses or our colleagues. We have to find a way of working harmoniously with them.

Get that flat sold and then you can waltz out of their lives for ever....

another_casualty

Thank you LL :j I feel better already . Im back to doing as I'm told , I guess

candygirl

LL I always read your advice, n find myself smiling and nodding.Will you be my life coach?:A

lessonlearned

With pleasure.....:rotfl:

Several people have suggested I do a course and get letters after my name and set up a little sideline business. Maybe I should.

I know this is probably not the place to discuss this but my long term goal is a senior gap year of some sort - possibly 2018 and I would like to set up some sort of online business that I can operate from anywhere in the world.

Do you think Lifecoaching online is a viable business model. What d'yall think.;)

Problem is I'm a bit of a technophobe (ie old dinosaur:rotfl:) so doubt I could do videos etc.

The other thing I thought I could do whilst travelling is English teaching. Again I would need to get the proper certificates.

Ive just bought a book about senior gap years - just started on it, trying to get ideas and tips.

SusieT

A friendly "boot" from me I have read the whole of this thread and I think I now need a drink, however, I have done the same sort of thing as you and downsized and moved away from London and a job I did not like at all.

First thing to do is declutter as in get rid of anything you are not using. Charity shops, Ebay, Craigslist etc. Get rid of it NOW, no point thinking you may use it one day. It will give you room in the house making it look better and save you the cost and work of packing and moving it when you sell and move. If you have enough of it and need to put stuff in storage it could also save you money by getting a smaller unit. I did several car loads to charity shops, several more to the tip, and made enough money to cover the costs of making the house look nicer for viewers.

Make the house look nice for viewers. Mine was fine for me and I liked the decor, but my tastes are not going to math those of viewers. Once all my stuff had been cleared I packed some things into cartons instead of my usual shove in the roof or spare room out of the way method. While cartons do not make the house look good, they do save packing once its sold and fit nicely into a cupboard, if a viewer looks its obvious you have them packed ready to move. I used pastel paint to add a bit of colour to walls, it also made the house look brighter/fresher. Colour went with the curtains I already had but being pastel would not take a lot to change for a purchaser. Cheap throws and cushions from a charity shop went on the sofas when viewers were due, and although I do not like indoor plants I found a couple in a charity shop that helped the look. Kitchen floor was not scuffed from the dog when she was younger so I got some sticky tiles in a sale and they changed the look of it in just a couple of hours (wash it well before you want to lay the sticky tiles so its well dry for better stickability). Bedroom(s) get some throws/covers for the beds that tone with the curtains, again charity shops have these and possibly gently coloured or soft white lightbulbs for bedside lamps that are not over bright, turn on for viewers and pictures, makes the bedrooms look warm and inviting even if its bright sunshine outside.
Have all floors, work surfaces and shelves clear of ttrailing wires, rarely used utensils etc.

Not seen the listing, but get new pictures taken that show the house to its best, even if its just 2 more weeks with this agent. Also, if you are thinking of reducing the price to £385k with the new agent why not do it now and see if it encourages someone who has already seen it to buy? It worked for me as I had an immediate offer from someone who had seen it but did not think I would drop the price so had not put in an offer!

It is well worth you dropping to £385k with a view to taking £375k or more, sure you will not have as much to play with when you move but the difference will mean moving earlier, getting away from your job earlier, getting better sleep earlier, losing a lot of stress with London travel earlier, enjoying life earlier - think of what you will gain instead of the £10k less that will be in the bank

Getting up and culling all the excess stuff you will have sitting around will start getting you moving of an evening, don't think you have shifted x loads and that is enough, be ruthless and have a new start with an uncluttered life in uncluttered surroundings. When the clesring and fluffing the place up is done get on with exercise, your health will thank you and you will be fitter and more ready for the move, and then when you do move you will be ready to get out straight away and start your new healthy life.

It took me too long to take the advice of friends and cut the price and do the throws etc, but it is well worth it to get away from the stress and believe me its not until you get away and it stops that you realise how much it was actually affecting you, it may seem bad now but wait until you have moved for 6 months and you will realise what a huge difference it makes and how little that drop in price was to pay for the change

Smodlet

What LL said when she said (sorry LL, paraphrasing now) stop whining, blaming everyone else for everything that is wrong with your life and either man up or shut up! You come across as if the world would stop rotating on its axis if you saw a spider! While I appreciate people have phobias (I hate creepy crawlies myself) the fact is, we don't live in Australia! If your maisonette were overrun with spiders/insects, you would survive, AC! You would either deal with the infestation yourself by buying sealant and applying it wherever the little blighters gained ingress or you would call the council/pest controller, or both.

I think your trouble, imho, is you have no life outside of work so expect it to fulfill all of your emotional needs. Been there, done that, it does not work and it very rarely happens. You constantly complain, fixate on insignificant, little details like ceiling fans for your flat, tower fans at work, yet lack the impetus to do anything about it, seemingly. You constantly criticise your colleagues/boss but have you stopped to wonder for one second what they really think of you?

What first attracted me to your thread was how amazingly brave you seemed to be, to be willing to change your life so drastically at over 50 years of age... when do you think that might happen?

I want to thank you, AC, Gallygirl, Anna, Tuesday Tenor, all the other lovely people I have met via your thread, and especially you, LL, for making me feel so welcome and helping me to build my confidence on here. I nearly left so many times and there were times when you guys, and especially you, AC, with your, "anything to make you smile, Smodlet" post, kept me going.

Now, come on, AC! Either decide what you want and go for it or give up and stay put, but do yourself a favour and stop vacillating.

grunnie

Yes I agree well said

another_casualty

candygirl wrote: »

LL I always read your advice, n find myself smiling and nodding.Will you be my life coach?:A

There is a que;) L L will be very busy now

anna_1977

grunnie wrote: »

anna_1977 If I was you and had a buyer I would be thinking of putting my stuff in storage and moving in with a friend or with family. You would then be in a better position to be a cash buyer able to move quickly which is what all sellers are looking for.

Hi Grunnie,
I am currently with a dog and 2 kids (gone to uni end of September) so I don't think any friends would want all of us. My parents have said I could stay with them but I only would if I had an end date to leave - they would also specify that.

I need to work out whether to just stay put for the time being. I was moving out of choice rather than necessity - interestingly over the last 2 days 3 properties have come on the market in town. They are all 4 bed so wouldn't be a downsize in size or price but does indicate that things are coming up

another_casualty

Thanks susie T , for looking at the whole of this thread .
Looks like you've done the right thing . Plenty there to take onboard;)