Quit everything , and start again over 50?

another_casualty

lessonlearned wrote: »

Dad.....quick recap.

He s been diagnosed with leukaemia........on top of all his other ailments, far too numerous to mention.

At 90 they are not going to do anything too radical. Just "keep him comfortqble" - so patch him up and let him come home.

So we are looking at blood transfusions on a regular basis as a day oatient. It's the kindest option. Bone marrow treatments and chemo are just too rough and there's no point subjecting him to invasive and painful treatments now.

We are hoping he will be coming home in the next couple of days.

Thinking of you, and hoping for the best in this difficult time

lessonlearned

Thanks AC. It is what it is.

None of us are immortal.

lessonlearned

another_casualty wrote: »

My brother'sticks ' to certain people . Trying not to offend him is majorly difficult . If/when my brother does contact me, I will tell him.
By midweek, I will probably text his mate with what enthusiastic and yourself said .

Don't get personal. Keep brother out of the loop. Just ask his mate for a breakdown of costs, in writing. then tell him you will send him a cheque, when you receive his invoice.

Because........I can guarantee he will not be declaring this as income.

So call his bluff.

lessonlearned

Ps. Your brother.

I can't tell you how to "manage" him. He's your brother, it all depends on how much involvement you actually want.

However.......maybe for now just a warm, cordial "distance".

It might be worth playing the "I'm a tad busy just now" card for a while. "We must catch up sometime"......and leave it at that for now.

No need for histrionics or a showdown. No need for a confrontation.

Remember the old adage......

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Very useful for families.;)

another_casualty

Thanks LL

Back to Payplan . My mortgage was with them, and guess what ..I have a loan and a credit card with them on my dmp .
Getting nervous .

another_casualty

Just spoke to Payplan .
I told them , that I could afford to offer £9,000'due to the sale of my mothers house in Ireland .
Given the 2 options , I asked for a partial settlement .
The rest gets written off if accepted.
They asked me if the funds were available now. Yes they are.
The man hinted that , there may have to be more funds in case first offer accepted.
I now have an appointment with the settlement team next weds 7 December .
They want an up to date budget sheet .
I'm very scared, but at least I made the call.

lessonlearned

There is nothing to be nervous about.

Unless of course you are trying to wriggle out of your commitments. :eek:

You owe the money so you need to pay it back. Fair's fair.

Render unto Caesar......and all that.

They will not ask you to pay back than you owe.

If you can do a deal then do a deal, if you can't then cough up what you owe and walk away, debt free and with your head held high.

Treat this as a valuable, if somewhat expensive life lesson. Resolve never to get into debt again.

From now on make it your mission to manage your financial affairs properly.

Theres no point in crying over spilt milk. You wracked up the debt, your DMP bailed you out. Now is the day of reckoning, so take it on the chin and pay up with a good grace.

I wracked up £30k of debt and paid back every penny. Yes it hurt....... especially as the debt was incurred due to my husband's illness and not just on frivolous spending.

Make the call, ask for a deal. If you dont get one then tough luck. Just pay up and have done.

You spent it, now its time to pay it back.

Get on with it so you can make that fresh start you keep talking about.

another_casualty

Thanks LL
Just received email. Payplan require last 2 months payslips/ bank statements and most recent mortgage statement .
Plus my budget for the year. Looks like I'll have to,pay full amount now.
How to explain my lie is another thing

anna_1977

I'm just wondering how they will know, you can provide latest bank & mortgage statement easily. Mortgage one will still show mortgage and bank one can be before transfer of the sale of flat.

Also, I was just wondering AC, have you had the credit checks for the flat done yet, I have not idea what checks are in place for renting but will your DMP show?

lessonlearned

another_casualty wrote: »

Just spoke to Payplan .
I told them , that I could afford to offer £9,000'due to the sale of my mothers house in Ireland .
Given the 2 options , I asked for a partial settlement .
The rest gets written off if accepted.
They asked me if the funds were available now. Yes they are.
The man hinted that , there may have to be more funds in case first offer accepted.
I now have an appointment with the settlement team next weds 7 December .
They want an up to date budget sheet .
I'm very scared, but at least I made the call.

As per my last post.......pay your debts.

Why on earth do you need to tell a pack of lies. You are just storing up trouble.

Telling them it was your mother's money is just plain stupidity.

As far as they are concerned it's an inheritence, unearned money and fair game. They will try and grab the lot.......

You should have been honest. You should have told them the truth, that you had sold your property as a last resort because you were desperate. Further that you are too sick to work and that you need as much capital as possible to put a roof over your head and keep food on the table until you are well enough to work.

You don't half make life complicated.

"Oh what tangled webs we weave, when we try to deceive"

TBH. AC. I'm not particularly impressed......

As I've said before I have no problem with someone asking for a discount for early settlement, that's perfectly reasonable.

But I'm afraid I am beginning to think that you seem to want to duck out of your responsibilities.......