Quit everything , and start again over 50?

another_casualty

Thanks enthusiastic . He is like catweazal( very eccentric / always right etc).
He has had my head tied in knots for years . Have reverted back to calm mode .
I wonder if I'll ever be settled .

wendym

Of course you will be settled.

It's not about me, but my father drank himself to death when I was fifteen, my mother didn't have a maternal bone in her body, and my brother (knowing how ill I have been) is a complete waste of space.

And here I am, showing two fingers, in a calm and kind way, to them all.

PS Except my father, who had a dreadful war, about which he never said anything.

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like putting some distance between you as you will be is a good idea then. Less chance of him winding you up.

lessonlearned

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

£300 sounds a lot to remove rubbish AC. Have you got a lot? Your brother and his mate sound toxic and your brother is wrong you do need to do the loft.

It's extortionate!!!!

lessonlearned

And you must clear everything, including the loft. Your buyers could charge you for removal and add a bit on for "nuisance value"

Frankly your brother talks a load of cobblers.

lessonlearned

I'm sorry to be so hyper critical of your brother but he does sound toxic. He's playing with your head.

The sooner you break free and distance yourself the better.

AC. Many of us have experienced family issues. We haven't all had happy carefree Golden childhoods. Wendym has been searingly honest. Take note of how she has dealt with it and learn.

You need to put it all behind you. If you can't do it alone then maybe you would benefit from counselling. move, get settled and see how you go. But if you need help then get it.

Don't pretend you are "calm and mellow". Clearly you are not. You are stressed and exhausted beyond sleep. You cant think straight or make a rational decision.

As for "will I ever be settled". Well that's up to you, you have to take the reins and take charge of your own destiny. No one can do it for you.

wendym

Thanks button back!

Cleaning. I happen to know there is a Poundland in Twickenham.

Shopping list:

All purpose spray cleaner.
Spray with bleach.
Loo cleaner with bleach and/or limescale remover
Rubber gloves
Scrubby sponge cleaning things.

A fiver. Plus a bar of chocolate as a reward.

short_bird

Hi, been reading for the last month.
Just my 2 pennorth:

Once upon a time, I sold one house, bought another, did all the legal stuff and moved from one into the other on the same day as they were in the same town with booked removal people and no family interference. It was something I would not be inclined to do again.
:eek::eek::eek:

Moving is hell. You have done what is right for you.

another_casualty

Thanks everyone. I must apologise for being dramatic.
Toxic.. Yes that's my brother. And you are being polite
He is not content unless he starts arguments . He , as I've told him over and over, is an aggressive drunk. I asked my mum a couple of years ago, why is he the way he is. ' it's an illness .' She said .
He had meningitis when young. He had problems with his ears.
He claims to have been dropped on his head when born. He is dyslexic.
He is scared of responsibility.
I made allowances for him . Over time, I realise he is a user, and a p i t a.
He is also, steptoe( Harold's dad). He works nights. But uses that as an excuse. I have to explain everything over and over and over...

Of course I will settle . That phone call from his mate just brought out all of my frustration and anger.
I can see why the guy charged £300. He will be bringing his guy with him also, as he expected to be going to Poole .He had to cancel a lorry . I'm paying for that. He is also a gambler. He is going to Spain for the weekend and if he wasn't , this would've been easier.I'm paying the £300 just to keep the peace , and then disappear like Lord Lucan .

I had a lovely sleep for 2 hours, but Lbc radio on my iPad , woke me .
I will wake at 5am like I normally do,and listen to Steve Allen .
I will relax, get up when I'm ready and tidy up my mess..separating the stuff to be moved and that to be chucked. Now that I know I have both jobs back on , I will dismantle my bed on weds. That will be chucked ,along with my mattress, the computer desk etc.i will have more space in the big yellow storage room anyway .
Sorry again for being over sensitive and over the top.

another_casualty

Regarding getting professional cleaners in: I thought about it .l
They would make the place look and smell fantastic. The carpets have never been shampooed since I moved in .
Then , weighing it all up, the buyers will be putting their own stamp on the place, and the carpets will be first to be dumped. They will get a new kitchen and bathroom I assume.
So, I will spend weds/ Thursday cleaning up making the best I can .