Quit everything , and start again over 50?

wendym

This thread proves how different we all are. Lessonlearned has found the perfect house but is looking for adventure, I live in a perfectly ok house but fidget (ill health doesn't stop me doing something so pointless) and poor AC goes round in circles.


My brother also plays bass guitar, and double bass. When he moved alone for his job, finding someone to play music with was his life saver. That and going to the same pub regularly until he became a regular.


At a tangent, he got married for the first time in his fifties.


Patchwork cat was right to point out that although the Poole friend's advice that the buyers should wait wasn't helpful, he has known you for 30 years. What does he know that we don't? She asked, impertinently.

lessonlearned

TBH. I dont know all the ins and outs of the benefit system......like you I don't want to.

I think you might be entitled to job seekers for a while because presumably you will have sufficient NI contributions. I understand there is a "waiting period" before you can claim. Other than that I know little.

There was a period when I could have claimed - ie after my carers allowance stopped when my husband we to to a nursing home and before my oension kicked in. It was for about 5 months or so.

I was too ill to work but deemed well enough not to qualify for sickness benefits. Rather like your current situation. I knew that claiming job seekers would mean that I would be forced to look for work so I didn't bother.

I just went without until my pension kicked in. I refused to grovel again.

lessonlearned

"Looking for adventure" :rotfl:

I like it. And why not........I'm 65 not 95.

Life is is like a three act play. The third act is always the best, the denouement, the climax.

My Third Act is just beginning.

AC your Third Act begins when you move out.

Finding "late love".

Why not, it happens all the time.

AC once you are settled and happy in your new home you might well find that Miss Right comes waltzing into your life.

Let's hope she does.

Just keep an open mind and an open heart and good things will come to you.

grunnie

LL my youngest son has a merc a red one. What colour are you going to get. His last car was a sporty thing with bucket seats very uncomfortable - my bum was too big:rotfl:
AC my grandson plays the base guitar.
As for finding a partner one of my friends found met her husband the day after she retired when they both put their hand on a reduced ready meal in M&S. So you never know when you will meet someone.
Moving house is the most stressful thing you will ever do. How did you survive the last move. Good luck.

savingmore

hi ac, still enjoying following yr news. with the question about neighbours for yr searches. yes you do have to be honest here, but it's not a biggy. agree with ll and poster who said you need to give explanation. it was an issue with overgrown vegetation that management company solved. this should give reassurance that you have an active management company. as it was a couple of years ago, and you still there and buyers have Sen flat and outsid, it will be fine, I am sure. wouldn't put me off. it's different to anti social behaviour, load noise etc.

best of luck in Poole. remember life is what u make it. if a place is quiet then it's because the person isn't doing anything or making life happen.

Tuesday_Tenor

Popping back briefly ...

another_casualty wrote: »

SOLD TO THE FIRST TIME BUYERS £375,000
( 2& a half grand less than the others).
So. Here we gooooo.
Hopefully all will be well .

So pleased to hear you're really moving! (Somewhere...!)

Sorry, hardly been online for 3 weeks; very busy time: away (planned short holiday); working; away again (unplanned); then home but 'away' all week at local music festival .... Am now very tired, so largely resting today.

There's clearly been a lot happening while my back was turned!
Delighted to hear of developments and to see the support you've been getting on here.

Have just skimmed the thread an see you seem to be having a few doubts about location.
I still like the sound of Poole for your requirements.
But the world's your 'lobster' now! You can go anywhere in UK, and will have the time to explore a bit. There's no need to make quick decisions.

Popping out again ...

lady1964

Hi AC, just wanted to post about you being petrified.

It's not quite the same situation but several years ago, my DH got a job in another country thousands of miles from home. We both went to live there and I was petrified, I didn't speak a word of the local language and we had to find a rental property, supermarkets, furniture shops and more importantly for me, friends.

I was so out of my comfort zone I cried p, DH was supportive but he was at work all day. Once we moved into our rented apartment, I pushed myself to find expat clubs where I could make friends. I was so frightened of using the subway by myself, DH did a dummy run with me the day before so I knew where I was going for the expat club meeting. I was beside myself with fear but I knew it was something I had to overcome. I went to the meeting and made 2 new friends who lived very close to where we did and on the same day, I went on the subway again by myself and I never looked back. I even did two 10 hour flights by myself a couple of months later. I gained more friends by joining in and thoroughly enjoyed my time there, I look back on it with massively fond memories.

My point after all that rambling is to get yourself out of your comfort zone to improve your quality of life, it may be the hardest thing you ever do but it could end up being the best thing you ever do, you'll never know unless you do it.

Set yourself small targets, write lists of targets & cross them off as you achieve them, makes it easy to see that you are taking steps. Maybe even start with what you've already done, for example: put flat up for sale, accept offer, complete questionnaire/survey form, you get my drift.

Most of all, be kind to yourself and take deep breaths, you CAN do this and you WILL do this :-)

Smodlet

What an absolutely brilliant post, lady1964; I am agog to find out where you went; Hong Kong? China? Somewhere like that?

AC... do you want to move or don't you? I think it is as simple as that. OH has travelled around England quite a bit and I asked him about Poole being "too quiet" and he said it would not be but lady1964 said it better than I ever could: It will be what you make it, as would anywhere else.

Personally, and I know it is your decision, not mine, if you are not absolutely set on Poole, why not look around? You could get so, so much more for your money if you would just lift your head up and look beyond your tiny, little universe. We had to do it. You can choose. Yes, if you are in a good relationship, everything is easier, far easier but imagine for a second being in a bad relationship: Surely it is easier to make decisions on your own than to be obstructed at every turn, no? You have no-one to please but yourself but seem incapable of making anything approaching a decision without referring it to a committee, be it made up of your "friends" (just how good are they?) or a bunch of strangers on here.

I really think it might be time to take responsibility for your own life, actions and decisions because no-one else can take it for you. All we can do is offer opinions and, occasionally, excellent advice as in LL's case. The fact remains, only you can decide. Maybe the first decision you need to make is whether to make a decision at all or just to continue on in the rut you seem to think you are in.

lady1964

Smodlet wrote: »

What an absolutely brilliant post, lady1964; I am agog to find out where you went; Hong Kong? China? Somewhere like that?

AC... do you want to move or don't you? I think it is as simple as that. OH has travelled around England quite a bit and I asked him about Poole being "too quiet" and he said it would not be but lady1964 said it better than I ever could: It will be what you make it, as would anywhere else.

Personally, and I know it is your decision, not mine, if you are not absolutely set on Poole, why not look around? You could get so, so much more for your money if you would just lift your head up and look beyond your tiny, little universe. We had to do it. You can choose. Yes, if you are in a good relationship, everything is easier, far easier but, imagine for a second being in a bad relationship: Surely it is easier to make decisions on your own than to be obstructed at every turn, no? You have no-one to please but yourself but seem incapable of making anything approaching a decision without referring it to a committee, be it made up of your "friends" (just how good are they?) or a bunch of strangers on here.

I really think it might be time to take responsibility for your own life, actions and decisions because no-one else can take it for you. All we can do is offer opinions and, occasionally, excellent advice as in LL's case. The fact remains, only you can decide. Maybe the first decision you need to make is whether to make a decision at all or just to continue on in the rut you seem to think you are in.

Thank you Smodlet for the compliment, I just hope AC takes it in the spirit with which it's intended.

it was an Asian country we went to, I've probably given clues to my identity already so will say no more. All I'll add is that I agree with everything you've posted above. Yes, having a supportive partner helps but there's a lot to be said for being a singleton with just yourself to please about where you go and what kind of place you'll live in. And, imagine having a partner whose job dictates where you live & you hate it, I know several people in that position but they aren't able to remove themselves, that's tough and not a situation I'd want to find myself in, you are AC, fortunate in many aspects.

lessonlearned

Following your oartner around so they can further their career can be extremely difficult. In many cases the one doing the following has to make a lot of sacrifices, their own jobs, friends, parting from families, no support network.

Flying solo can have its advantages. :rotfl: