Husband of 40 years admitted he cross dresses

Anatidaephobia

no1catman wrote: »

But, to help them make the right selection, you may ask about size etc., and if the answer is so evasive you may wonder. And if you wonder, would you ask (discretely of course) - yet it could have good and bad outcomes - either the customer buys, or complains!

No, I wouldn't ask.

Similarly, in my current job, I speak to customers on the phone and sometimes the voice doesn't appear to "match" the person's name and, while you might wonder if you're speaking to the correct person or if it's their partner or parent pretending to be them, I would never question that either.

no1catman

Yes, it's easy to be caught out with just the voice, but if that's who they say they are, as opposed to them saying something like 'the name on the card is ...'

bylromarha

Happened to my friend's parents. Tore my friend apart when she found out.

Everyone who knew the guy were getting a little surprised when he started wearing glittery earings in public - I didn't quite know what to say when he showed them off to me. It was then followed by eye make up to enhance his features. It then all cam out he'd been cross dressing for years.

The biggest thing my friend and her mum found hardest was the secrecy as he'd been on websites for months as his alter ego, getting tips on where to buy fake breasts and realistic wigs. He'd been dressing up at home and answering the door to deliveries dressed up as his alter ego. They were upset that they felt they were one of the last to know.

moneyistooshorttomention

I think that would be more of a shocker to an (adult) child than to a wife actually and probably more so to a daughter.

Daughters often tend to be "daddys girls". I know I certainly was. To this day - I would find it much harder to accept finding out something unexpected like that about my father than I would about my mother. Mind you - that is partly down to their respective temperaments. My father is very much "what you see is what you get" type of person and very straightforward (ie "too honest for his own good") - so it would give me one heck of a shock if I found out he had been hiding a major secret like that.

Obviously - that's all the more the case when the man has been very much being the "traditional man" (ie supporting his wife financially/leaving the housework to her/regarding it as his place to "defend" his wife/playing sports/etc).

I can see that, as a wife, I would blame myself to some extent for being a worse judge of people than I thought I was and be going round telling myself "I should have spotted it/how could I be so unobservant/etc/etc?" Though - the one time I came across this (to my knowledge) I had realised before the man concerned told me.

As a daughter - you get what you get for a father and haven't had a choice about so to say. So you wouldn't have "linked up" with the man concerned by your own choice iyswim.