Christmas present - fair or not?

VfM4meplse

Mojisola wrote: »

He might understand after he's had to cope with DS getting upset during the performance. Make sure he knows it will also be his job to deal with any upsets or nightmares your DS has in the time following the trip out.

Which would be a brilliant idea, if the collateral damage justified making the point.

DS does not deserve to suffer because his grandmother and aunt are insensitive to his disposition.

Mojisola

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Which would be a brilliant idea, if the collateral damage justified making the point.

DS does not deserve to suffer because his grandmother and aunt are insensitive to his disposition.

But if the father is going to take the child anyway, he should at least be prepared to cope with any resulting problems.

The OP won't do the one thing that's right for the child and that's stopping him going.

ALIBOBSY

Personally I would be most angry at my OH when in that situation, concerned about young son and heavily pregnant I would expect ANY man to absolutely stand up for and back his partner against ANYONE.

OP TELL not ask you partner to tell the outlaws neither you NOR your son will be going to this show and you expect him to back you up and not go as well.

OH and I have been married 17 years, together over 18 and we BOTH have each others back so to speak and would back each other over ANYONE else as you should in a partnership.

TBH I am unimpressed with the OP's OH, I wouldn't have even needed to discuss this with my OH he would have said straight away to in laws not to book if our son was upset/the play was unsuitable and I was heavily pregnant. Mind you my in laws would have discussed it with both of us first.

Good Luck OP

Ali x

POPPYOSCAR

Sorry OP.


Do not understand your dilemma.


Tickets have not been bought, the simplest thing would be to say that as a family you all could not make it this year due to the upcoming birth.


Sometimes you just have to say no.

pollyanna24

pinkshoes wrote: »

But I will be having "ME" time every single day on maternity leave as DS is at school, hence the point of spending the last few weekends doing stuff together before the babies arrive.

I appreciate other people prefer 'me time', but I would much rather spend as much time with DS as possible before he has to share me!!

The inlaws will have loads of opportunities to spend time with DS if they like after the birth, as DS will need looking after while I am in hospital.

(And if they do not want to, I have my own family and many friends willing to help, just before anyone things I would take the inlaws offer of help for granted!)

It's one evening, they're not taking him for a week!

pinkshoes

pollyanna24 wrote: »

It's one evening, they're not taking him for a week!

It is one entire day out, for something that is supposd to be a FAMILY day out, yet is unsuitable for me being pregnant, and DS who hates loud noises.

There was no option of no. When I said no, I then got told that they would just book it without a ticket for me.

I agree DH should take more of a stance, but he doesn't want to get his sister in a strop as that would just upset his mum!

Hopefully she will just book the early date and fingers crossed I am not too uncomfortable!

Trek_girl

pinkshoes wrote: »

There was no option of no. When I said no, I then got told that they would just book it without a ticket for me.

I agree DH should take more of a stance, but he doesn't want to get his sister in a strop as that would just upset his mum!

There is always an option of no.

In this case it boils down to DH having to make a difficult choice.
Choice 1 - Annoy his sister and possibly upset his mother.

Choice 2 - have his young son frightened and his pregnant wife either inconvenienced or excluded.

Or even more simply
Choice 1- Family of origin
Choice 2 - Adult family he created

He has chosen his mummy.

Jagraf

I have to say that my ex sister in law was such a drama queen that if you said no there would be a family fall out (ex husbands sister, thankfully my now sis in law is a blessing).

My ex husband was not talked to by half his family at his nans funeral because of something he had said no to.

Even when I said no to something, after my divorce, she went on and on.

It's not always easy when families don't see reason.

pinkshoes

Jagraf wrote: »

I have to say that my ex sister in law was such a drama queen that if you said no there would be a family fall out (ex husbands sister, thankfully my now sis in law is a blessing).

My ex husband was not talked to by half his family at his nans funeral because of something he had said no to.

Even when I said no to something, after my divorce, she went on and on.

It's not always easy when families don't see reason.

My SIL puts the D in drama queen!!

She is very over emotional and bursts into tears over virtually anything, and always takes her mum's side if there is ever any conflict even if she hasn't got a clue what is going on!!

I blame the wacky baccy...

duchy

pinkshoes wrote: »

It is one entire day out, for something that is supposd to be a FAMILY day out, yet is unsuitable for me being pregnant, and DS who hates loud noises.

There was no option of no. When I said no, I then got told that they would just book it without a ticket for me.

I agree DH should take more of a stance, but he doesn't want to get his sister in a strop as that would just upset his mum!

Hopefully she will just book the early date and fingers crossed I am not too uncomfortable!

So you as a couple tell them right back it's like the three musketeers - All or none.

Your partner sounds a bit of a wimp - more scared of his Mum and sister than the wellbeing of his wife and child.

Play is advertised as not suitable for under 5's -I suggest you *tell* them your son doesn't go to shows that are inappropriate for his age and they can like it or lump it.

If granny wanted to teach him fireeating and "told" you she was doing it.....would you let her ?