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Christmas present - fair or not?
Comments
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pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »I think for this year, it is already organised etc, so not really a lot you can do about it.
However immediately afterwards I would speak to SIL and Parents in law and say that it is the last time you will be going for the foreseeable due to having twins - if you mention it very early , so tickets have not been purchased etc, then shouldn't be a problem
She hasn't booked yet, and there are definitely seats available for the early showing (just checked), so hopefully she will just book that.
Just noticed it does state that it is nit recommended for under 5s due to the scary scenes and loud noises!! DS is not one for bravery but if it keeps the inlaws happy then, i can at least hold his hand and spend most the show explaining that it is not real!!
SIL does not have kids. i think her heart is in the right place, but it has become more what her mum wants rather than a suitable present for us as a family.Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
I really don't understand why fear of your in-laws means you would put your timid 4 year old through this.Just noticed it does state that it is nit recommended for under 5s due to the scary scenes and loud noises!! DS is not one for bravery but if it keeps the inlaws happy then, i can at least hold his hand and spend most the show explaining that it is not real!!I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once0 -
My opinion is SIL is just thoughtless and lazy. I assume she's childless herself so has no idea how uncomfortable travelling and havng to sit in a theatre seat can be when heavily pregnant. This is just an easy present her Mum likes and she hasn't considered you and your family at all OP.
From the sounds of it, the SIL doesn't really have much to do with this present other than actually paying for it. Maybe she's not intentionally inconsiderate, maybe she's genuinely oblivious to the fact that going may be difficult for the OP.
For all we know, the SIL has even asked her parents if this was really the ideal day out for the OP this year and they have completely quashed her points.
What makes no sense to me is that the OP and her husband could easily put up a united front and say "No, we're not going to go this year, but why don't we all do X instead...", and the parents in law likely would've got excited and carried away planning X and the pantomime would soon be forgotten.0 -
Agreed. The advice from the theatre is given in good faith, and can be seen as independent from your view. How could referring to this possibly cause an adult of sound mind offence?Brighton_belle wrote: »I really don't understand why fear of your in-laws means you would put your timid 4 year old through this.
They should put your DS first, not use him as an excuse to see something they may wish to anyway. I really think you should dig your heels in and stay back to enjoy the day with DS. All being well, the message will be received and the group outing idea will be jettisoned forever more.Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy
...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
Just noticed it does state that it is nit recommended for under 5s due to the scary scenes and loud noises!! DS is not one for bravery but if it keeps the inlaws happy then, i can at least hold his hand and spend most the show explaining that it is not real!!
Why would you put your inlaws feelings before your DS.
Your DH needs to step up and tell SIL thanks, but we are not able to go this year. The show is not suitable for DS ( why should he be frightened and not enjoy his Christmas present just to please SIL. She is the adult.) and you re too near delivery to go. End of.
No matter what you say it will cause upset so get it over with now or next year you will be in the same position.- you can stay at home with twins and the rest of us will go.0 -
Anatidaephobia wrote: »
What makes no sense to me is that the OP and her husband could easily put up a united front and say "No, we're not going to go this year, but why don't we all do X instead...", and the parents in law likely would've got excited and carried away planning X and the pantomime would soon be forgotten.
Because MIL/SIL just do as they want, so if I said I wouldnt feel comfortable going and wouldn't be thrilled about DS going without me, then they would just go ahead and book without a ticket for me anyway.
DH will just go along with it once the tickets get booked! I'm afraid DH doesn't see why I should be bothered about him and DS getting to go to the theatre for the day and me being stuck at home, as he personally would much rather be at home on his own!!Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
I'm wondering if they consider you over-protective and stopping your son from a fun experience.
If that is the case, then it really is for your OH to deal with. Maybe he could ask your son in front of his parents if he wants to go again. If he says no, they can't accuse you of using him as an excuse to spoil their fun.0 -
Then they will have wasted their money on DS' ticket.Because MIL/SIL just do as they want, so if I said I wouldnt feel comfortable going and wouldn't be thrilled about DS going without me, then they would just go ahead and book without a ticket for me anyway.
Stand your ground on this one, its not as if you haven't been clear with them. Its distressing for you as a mother to have to deal with the aftermath so DS stays at home with you, simples.Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
Oh Pinkshoes I can totally understand why your upset. I was going to suggest a compromise of an earlier showing and see that's a possibility. The local show is also a good idea, they are a lot more gentle for younger children and a nice atmosphere. I can understand why you don't want to be alone in those last few weekends. Hope it all works out.0
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DH will just go along with it once the tickets get booked! I'm afraid DH doesn't see why I should be bothered about him and DS getting to go to the theatre for the day and me being stuck at home, as he personally would much rather be at home on his own!!
He might understand after he's had to cope with DS getting upset during the performance. Make sure he knows it will also be his job to deal with any upsets or nightmares your DS has in the time following the trip out.0
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