Christmas present - fair or not?

pinkshoes

One of my inlaws gets me, DH snd DS Christmas theatre tickets. MIL snd FIL then tag along too. The idea was that we could go do something together as a family.

DS is only 4 and not keen on loud noises, so spends most the show cuddling me!! He enjoys the interval icecream the most. DH isn't keen but goes along with it.

This year she wants to do the same, but I will be at least 34 weeks pregnant with twins, so she said that just DH and DS could go.

I feel really miffed about this as the idea of being stuck at home being left out of this "family" Christmas present (which I was the only one enthusiastic about it the past!) seems quite ironic.

Would much rather go do something that we can ALL do.

Am I right to feel a bit miffed?? I felt I was being shot down when I suggested an alternative present that I could join in with!

(The theatre is a long journey, involves being sat for a long period of time, plus lots of standing around before hand and a long walk)

fierystormcloud

Yes you ARE right to be miffed. Why have a present for the whole family, when you are left out?

Very unfair IMO. Talk to your DH about it maybe? Tell him how you feel, and how you think it's unfair and ask him to speak to your in-laws about doing something different.

All the best.

FBaby

Isn't a Christmas present for you? A day for myself when I was pregnant with number 2, whilst OH was taking DC1 for some fun would have been my idea of heaven, best possible present!

theoretica

I would leave it between your husband and his parents. Perhaps consider it your present to the grandparents - as it does sound more of a treat for them than any of the three of you.

A poorly chosen Christmas present is a fairly common, and mild, issue, and at least this one won't clutter your house for ever afterwards.

pinkshoes

FBaby wrote: »

Isn't a Christmas present for you? A day for myself when I was pregnant with number 2, whilst OH was taking DC1 for some fun would have been my idea of heaven, best possible present!

Nah! I love spending time with DS every weekend. He is quite a mummy's boy, so we love doing stuff together! Would hate spending a day without him, and am currently trying to do as much as possible with him before the twins arrive!

The theatre freaks him out due to the realistic "baddies" they have - he finds it really frightening and spends most the show asking if it has nearly finished!

enthusiasticsaver

It sounds like it is more a present for the in laws but I wouldn't be too worried about it. It will be a good chance for your OH to have some daddy, son time before his two new siblings arrive; Congratulations by the way. You would be quite uncomfortable in a theatre at that stage anyway I should imagine and will be nice and rested when DS comes back and tells you all about it.


Why don't you and OH and DS do the thing you suggested anyway on another date as I am sure with two new ones around the opportunity for trips out will be limited for a few months?


I wouldn't worry too much about DS not being keen on loud noises etc. My daughter when she was little hated the lights going down and loud noises but after going a few times she really enjoyed it.

balletshoes

you never know OP, after your DH takes your DS on his own to the christmas theatre, he might speak up and suggest an alternative present himself after this year .

duchy

How would your in-laws react if their son (rather than you) said he wouldn't leave you alone at home when so pregnant for something so frivolous ?

pinkshoes

balletshoes wrote: »

you never know OP, after your DH takes your DS on his own to the christmas theatre, he might speak up and suggest an alternative present himself after this year .

Lol I guess..

I just feel as if it has turned from a FAMILY day out (me, DH and DS), to the inlaws tagging along, to me now being excluded.

I just wouldn't even suggest such a thing that excluded someone as I find it mean!

PasturesNew

I think you're over-thinking it. It's their "Xmas treat" bringing them joy and a shared experience. Most people don't like doing things that others think are a great idea .... so the fact it's not gone great in past years is just one of those things, part of "sucking it up" of being in a family.

This year you can't go .....

It's no different to the grandparents who insist on giving 3-4 bottles of their favourite drink, that you hate .... or who always give a huge cake and boxes of chocolates, even though somebody's always on a diet.

Just see it as a "great night off/relaxation time" for you.

pinkshoes

PasturesNew wrote: »

Just see it as a "great night off/relaxation time" for you.

But I will be having "ME" time every single day on maternity leave as DS is at school, hence the point of spending the last few weekends doing stuff together before the babies arrive.

I appreciate other people prefer 'me time', but I would much rather spend as much time with DS as possible before he has to share me!!

The inlaws will have loads of opportunities to spend time with DS if they like after the birth, as DS will need looking after while I am in hospital.

(And if they do not want to, I have my own family and many friends willing to help, just before anyone things I would take the inlaws offer of help for granted!)