Miscarriage advice........

[Deleted User]

PeonySugar wrote: »

Could you take her out to dinner within say 2-3 weeks of the date? That way it's not within days of the date, but near enough to acknowledge the date but far away enough to be suitable if you get me

This is a great idea, thanks for that Peony.


She knows I am here for her to talk anytime anyway so if she needs me I am a phone call away.

Dinner or lunch date it will be.


Dxxx

sheramber

Don't ignore her partner/ husband.

[Deleted User]

sheramber wrote: »

Don't ignore her partner/ husband.

Thanks sheramber.


Dxxx

Torry_Quine

Armchair23 wrote: »

Lost the baby in March with a due date of November ?

Some of us may have called this a late period because so many pregnancies end naturally around this time.

Not to belittle the loss, but flowers,cards etc., seem a bit over the top to me.

Pregnancy didn't used to be spoken about until the third month purely because so many pregnancies end in an early loss.

I'm trying not to belittle how sad this is for the couple involved while keeping a sensible take on the fact this is (sadly) very commonplace.

I'd leave it alone but be willing and happy to have your friend cry on your shoulder whenever she needs too.

The not talking about pregnancies until the third month is a relatively recent thing with the advent of scans. Everyone is different and there isn't one way to grieve. To her and her partner this was a much wanted and loved child that they lost.

[Deleted User]

Torry_Quine wrote: »

The not talking about pregnancies until the third month is a relatively recent thing with the advent of scans. Everyone is different and there isn't one way to grieve. To her and her partner this was a much wanted and loved child that they lost.

Yes, this is exactly how they feel about it.


Thanks Torry


Dxxx

marywooyeah

Dolly you sound like a wonderful friend. The fact that your friend brought up her loss recently indicate that she is lamenting her impending due date and missing her baby. It sounds like she would really be grateful to you for recognising her feelings at this difficult time of year. Flowers and a card would be a lovely gesture, I have a Pandora charm with my lost baby'shower initial on it, had your friend chosen a name? If so perhaps something with the baby's initial or name one would be good x

System

I think it varies with individual women, my mum had 4 miscarraiges (though i only learned of them as an adult) but don;t think she'd have wanted to be rminded of them. She may remember them privately but tbh i;ve never asked for details and everyone deal with grief differently.

My best friend had a miscarriage, however she conceived again not long after (he's 6 months old now) and i don't think the miscarriage is something she wanted to focus on.

Some women may want to remember and in that case perhaps spending time with her as other shave suggested might be a nice idea, but be aware she might not want reminders.

[Deleted User]

marywooyeah wrote: »

Dolly you sound like a wonderful friend. The fact that your friend brought up her loss recently indicate that she is lamenting her impending due date and missing her baby. It sounds like she would really be grateful to you for recognising her feelings at this difficult time of year. Flowers and a card would be a lovely gesture, I have a Pandora charm with my lost baby'shower initial on it, had your friend chosen a name? If so perhaps something with the baby's initial or name one would be good x

Thanks marywooyeah, she doesn't wear a charm bracelet or anything like that but if she did this would have been something to think about.

Still have a bit of time to think about what I am going to do, thanks for replying.

Dxxx

[Deleted User]

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I think it varies with individual women, my mum had 4 miscarraiges (though i only learned of them as an adult) but don;t think she'd have wanted to be rminded of them. She may remember them privately but tbh i;ve never asked for details and everyone deal with grief differently.

My best friend had a miscarriage, however she conceived again not long after (he's 6 months old now) and i don't think the miscarriage is something she wanted to focus on.

Some women may want to remember and in that case perhaps spending time with her as other shave suggested might be a nice idea, but be aware she might not want reminders.

Thanks for your reply messedup, spending time with her seems to be what most are suggesting which makes me think this might be the right thing to do.

Dxx

spend_or_save

Armchair23 wrote: »

Lost the baby in March with a due date of November ?

Some of us may have called this a late period because so many pregnancies end naturally around this time.

Not to belittle the loss, but flowers,cards etc., seem a bit over the top to me.

Pregnancy didn't used to be spoken about until the third month purely because so many pregnancies end in an early loss.

I'm trying not to belittle how sad this is for the couple involved while keeping a sensible take on the fact this is (sadly) very commonplace.

I'd leave it alone but be willing and happy to have your friend cry on your shoulder whenever she needs too.

My wife and i suffered a miscarriage earlier this year, we found out at 12 weeks, and had not told anyone about the pregnancy, i can you tell now the fact it is commonplace, no one else knew, and it was still early days did not make it any less heartbreaking to deal with, especially for my wife. Lots of bad things are very common, it should not takeaway from the impact they can have.

In saying that, and its a very individual thing, my wife would have hated getting flowers as a reminder, i would perhaps steer clear of something specific to the miscarriage and as others have said just maybe visit your friend/go for dinner etc and let her bring it up if she wants to.

Your friend is very lucky to have such a good mate.