Miscarriage advice........

Torry_Quine

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

You could always send the flowers as a "because your a great friend" thing. Just to make her smile. There doesn't need to be a mention of the miscarriage unless she says? Then you don't need to worry about reminding her of the loss and she will feel valued as a great friend?

This seems better, that way you don't run the risk of mentioning it but she can bring it up if sh wants.

ellie99

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

You could always send the flowers as a "because your a great friend" thing. Just to make her smile. There doesn't need to be a mention of the miscarriage unless she says? Then you don't need to worry about reminding her of the loss and she will feel valued as a great friend?

This is a really nice idea, flowers without a specific mention of the miscarriage.

If she's your best friend, I'm assuming you can talk about it if she wants to anyway.

Flowers sent on my due dates would have made me feel worse, but then everyone's different, so it's really hard to say.

pinkshoes

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks last september, then another at 9 weeks at Easter.

I would not have wanted flowers or a reminder, but perhaps a hug from a friend if I was feeling a bit down.

FreddieFrugal

I agree with pink shoes. We had to have our baby terminated at 12 weeks for medical reasons this year. Was awful.

Would not want anyone doing anything in the way of reminding us about it unnecessarily.

As a friend be there for them if they are upset or want to talk about it. But don't give them anything to commemorate it. Let them deal with it in their way and include you if they need you.

Armchair23

Lost the baby in March with a due date of November ?

Some of us may have called this a late period because so many pregnancies end naturally around this time.

Not to belittle the loss, but flowers,cards etc., seem a bit over the top to me.

Pregnancy didn't used to be spoken about until the third month purely because so many pregnancies end in an early loss.

I'm trying not to belittle how sad this is for the couple involved while keeping a sensible take on the fact this is (sadly) very commonplace.

I'd leave it alone but be willing and happy to have your friend cry on your shoulder whenever she needs too.

PeonySugar

Could you take her out to dinner within say 2-3 weeks of the date? That way it's not within days of the date, but near enough to acknowledge the date but far away enough to be suitable if you get me

[Deleted User]

Its great to hear all of your opinions on the matter, we had a wee lunch date last week & when we drove home she was talking about it which made me think it would be nice to let her know that I am thinking about her around this time.


I will have a think about it, thanks again everyone.


Dxxx

[Deleted User]

Guest101 wrote: »

How does she know the due date?


Unless I'm mistaken that is done at the 12 week scan. which would have been in May?


Anyway, to answer your question, offer to take her out for a meal or something.


This way it either takes her mind off the date, or lets her commemorate it with someone who cares.

She had everything charted from her last period so was keeping a track of the time that way.


Dxxx

[Deleted User]

Emmalooking2savemoney wrote: »

Flowers would be thoughtful or having a takeout at home and watch a film. It will probably be upsetting for her but I'm sure she will appreciate the effort

I think you might be right, maybe just have a nice wee lunch date - sometimes just being there is the best you can offer.


Dxxx

[Deleted User]

jackieblack wrote: »

It would have upset me more
I know the due date of every baby I miscarried, but wouldn't have wanted other people reminding me of it.


Guest101, initial dating is(or was, all the times I was pregnant) usually worked out from the first day of last period.
Medical people like to think that they can get a more accurate date at the 12 week (or earlier) scan, although as all parents know, in reality the baby will come when it's ready and not on a date prescribed by the medical profession!

Thanks for your honest opinion with this Jackie, sorry to hear that this is something you have experienced personally.


Dxxx