Do I hire a private investigator

BucksLady

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I hope the OP realises this is a "tongue in cheek" post and not a serious suggestion.

Those 19 people were all only trying to help - as were most of the rest of us.

Do you really think anyone of us has the right to pm another member asking for personal details? I certainly don't.
I didn't read the comment as a ''tongue in cheek'' remark.

harrys_nan

Shelly193,
Ignore this thread from now on, do not come back and read any more posts.
I understand completely why you lied so don't beat yourself up over that one, I think I would have lied as well if I have had 19 messages into my inbox. People thought they were trying help and each one was not thinking how many others were trying to do the same thing.
Take care of yourself and your little one x

FBaby

Sorry only read your first post and it doesn't add up.

It does add up, it is your interpretation that doesn't.

People living to lives is far from a rarity. It happens incredibly easily. I like it when people make judgments on those who happen to be the victim of such misfortune, yet would probably be the first to also make judgments about posts asking advice on snooping on partners, because after all, if you don't trust your partner, you shouldn't be with them...

You are seeing much more into this then there might. It could have been nothing more that a man who is not overly happy in his marriage, stressed with his job taking him away from his children and friends, goes out one evening feeling down, meets OP who is young and fun and the opposite to his wife in her undemanding attitude. He knows he shouldn't be in contact or see her again, but he does, and before he knows it, he falls in love. Then, OP falls pregnant, it's not plan, but he is happy. He starts to think about leaving his wife, but he knows it will mean not seeing his other kids again, and his wife going for all his money, so he put his head in the sand, continues with his double life, knowing that at he is just buying time until he gets found out. When it does, he has to make a choice, and he does the coward one. In the last 6 months, he has been absolutely miserable, but he is too weak to do anything about it and takes comfort in pushing everything out of his mind and trying to get on with life as if the 4 years with OP never happened.

Not a nice story at all but a realistic one unfortunately. I could write about a story of deceit that would also comes across as to unbelievable to be real. I really wish it was, but it isn't, and when/if it does come to light one day, it will leave a lot of damage on the way.

peachyprice

ManofLeisure wrote: »

OP, I would suggest that you may wish to consider reporting the 19 people who have been pestering you. This is clearly against the rules of this forum.

Pestering? Seriously? The OP asked for help, some people offered that by way of PM rather than on the open forum.

peachyprice

Shelly193 wrote: »

What I wrote about finding him, was from someone we found months ago, that I thought was him. I just used it in my lie, so nobody would ask me any more questions, and I could be forgotten.
I feel so bad for lying, that I sent people messages saying sorry for lying. I hoped that would be enough to cleanse my conscience, it wasn't, and instead, I chose to tell you all the actual truth so you know.

So you've now posted details of an easily identifiable innocent man on the internet. Classy.

I think it's time this thread was removed.

tomtontom

catoutthebag wrote: »

Anyone else questioning the legitimacy of the first op?

This story happens and you turn to mse to write about it. Most would have collapsed in a nervous breakdown.

So you knew him for 4 years bit know nothing about him?
If he was a conman why did he stay with you for that time? What do/did you have that he wanted?
Seriously you never questioned anything of him? You didn't suspect porkies?
So who were the people commenting on his pictures? Fellow conmen? Fake accounts

Sorry only read your first post and it doesn't add up.

I've been questioning it from the first post - I know I'm a cynic and I know that people's lives are not straightforward, but this just strikes me as a wannabe author trying out her efforts on a willing audience. It wouldn't be the first time ...

Mr_Costcutter

I'm afraid this Thread is nothing short of a farce and making those who post on it (including myself) looking nothing less than idiots.

With respect to the OP receiving 19 messages - which may or may not be the case - then of course it isn't right if people are asking for personal info. Indeed, I would also consider it ''pestering'' to send pms to obtain such details. I don't know ''who'' any of you are, and in the same way, you don't know who I am. Goodness, some weirdo with a false email account etc may be asking for personal details - who knows. Whether this story is true or not is a matter to be seen. But one thing I'm pretty sure about is that the OP isn't well and for that reason I think she should be left to think matters out.

Artytarty

What's horrible thing to say Catoutt! Why ? Even if you disbelieve the OP what can be gained by saying that?

catoutthebag

Artytarty wrote: »

What's horrible thing to say Catoutt! Why ? Even if you disbelieve the OP what can be gained by saying that?

What's horrible? This person (male or female ) fabricated a story for a forum. They enjoyed the attention and replies. Clearly they are a couple marbles short of a set.

busiscoming2

Yes, there are dodgy people about and none of us on here know who everyone truly is.

BUT you did give some clues as to your ex. While I sympathise with you to some extent, you can't post bits and then not expect people to want to know more in order to try and help.

To a point I understand why you lied, but you really did have to think it through to go into so much detail.

I hope whatever course of action you take, you find some peace. It's a horrible thing to have happen and I feel for your child.