SEVERE Alcohol problem...can anyone help me?

Lunar_Eclipse

Well done so far and good luck!

Blue_Bird

Not only have you admitted you want help, you're actively seeking to do something about it yourself, and not waiting for someone else to do it for you. That's fantastic.

Drinking away your problems doesn't solve them, as you've found. Confronting things head on is hard, but processing them will give you the strength not to reach for a drink when other things happen.

Wishing you all the resolve and strength you need x

duchy

I am so relieved you've made that appointment - I hope you keep it !!

One of my dear friends was just like you - had a good job in a bank, a partner who'd do anything for her, nice home .....and she died of liver failure before reaching 45. I don't want you to endure what she did - nor what her family went through - and still go through as illogically they still carry the guilt that there must have been more they could have done to help her - but as you know the only person to help you ...is you.

I hope it goes well at the GP's -It's a massive step you are taking today - and the first step in regaining your life. Stay strong Chick !

LameWolf

Well done thus far, Desperado.
May I make a little suggestion that I haven't noticed anyone else mention? (Or I may have missed it).
Get all alcohol out of the house, and don't let any more be brought in. If it ain't there, you can't just grab a glass.;)

ManofLeisure_2

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thanks.

OH is in denial, as I am. Scared to go to GP to admit it all.

Hello Desperado,

Whatever you tell your GP, he will have heard before, and will not judge you. Taking that first step will be difficult for you, but best to do it now

Hope all goes well for you

pollypenny

Well done, desperado!

Good luck. And I hope you have lots of support.

TBagpuss

well done for making the first step.

I would second the suggstion from a previous proster to write down what you need your GP to know, and give him the letter. That way, even if you are too embarassed or too upset to give him much infomation when you see him, he has the infoamtion he needs to help you.

Print out a copy and give it to your husband, too, so that he knows and can support you.

get all the alcohol out of the house. It's much harder to have a drink at 9 a.m. if there is no booze in the house.

If you do your grocery shiopping online, go through the 'favourites' and remove all the alcoholic bevereges .

Consider what you might be able to substitute, next time you want a drink - this might be some kind of displacement activity, it might be a non-alcoholic drink - anything you think may help take your mind off the idea of another drink.

You may find it hekpful to think about whether there are specific triggers for you which mean you have a drink, and whether it may be possible to alter things so they don't come up , or come up less frequently - changing he routine may help you to avoid falling back into the routine, including the bit where you have a drink, when things get difficult.

Think about what kind of things motivate you, and how you may be able to use them to help motivate youself to stay away from alcohol.

And above all, good luck.

Honey_Bear

Hi there, Desperado! :wave:

I've read your thread and have to say that I loved Sparrer's post as well as several others.

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thank you. Embarrassed I can cope with, although, as I have a good relationship with my young male GP I hate to expose to him that my history (anti depressants etc) will have basically been a sham. By 'scared' I mean, scared to expose myself to the NHS. If my medical records state ALCOHOLIC.....what awful, guilty Pandoras Box am I opening up for myself....

I'm not a big fan about the word 'alcoholic.' I'm even less of a fan about basing a decision on how to live my life on the definition of the word. In the end, it didn't matter whether I was addicted or not. What mattered was that my behaviour when I drank, not always, but enough for me to recognise that there was a definite link between booze followed by unacceptable behaviour, was no longer a tenable way to live my life.

Your GP needs to know! I need to preface this with a disclaimer - I used to work in a hospital but I am not medically qualifed in any capacity. Years ago I heard a surgeon talking with a woman who hadn't had a drink in 30 years, who was very upset that his junior doctor had recorded her comment that she was an alcoholic in her notes when he took her history prior to surgery. She believed that because she hadn't had a drink for all that time, it was over and done with and other people might judge her as a result and she didn't want that. The surgeon explained very gently why he needed to know. Our bodies are marvellous things but sometimes without realising it we damage them in ways we can't imagine. They also manage to keep going for a long, long time after we have no right to expect them, too, but when we're going into surgery, please, please be honest about drinking past and present.

One of the stimuli for my giving up was the fact that on a birthday several years ago I fell over and broke my wrist after too much booze. (It took at least a couple of years before I actually stopped, but it was a turning point.) When I had to have it reset surgically, and the anaesthetist asked how much I drank - I told her. She then told me that I was probably the first person who had ever been honest with her, and it mattered. It mattered because our alcohol consumption affects how our bodies cope with anaesthetics. How can we expect the medical profession to be able to care for us, fix us up a bit and help us if we don't do them the courtesy of at least being honest about what help and how much of it we need?

Not one person I came across during that episode - nurses, doctors, physiotherapists, health care assistants, fracture clinic staff, administrators, receptionists, etc etc etc said a single word in judgement about my drinking. Not one. That was far more saluatory than any amount of judgemental stuff could ever have been. I'm so, so grateful to them all, and one of the bonuses of stopping is the absence of daily embarrassment because I've (said or) done something I shouldn't have, such as breaking another bone.

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thanks.

OH is in denial, as I am. Scared to go to GP to admit it all.

I'm not reading that post the same way as everyone else. Do you think your OH has a drink problem as well? Or do you think your OH thinks your drinking is under control? I ask because my OH drinks and has often been every bit as trollied as I was but doesn't get nasty with it, ever, and since I stopped has continued to drink and I'm fine with that. He drinks every day, pretty much, most days now though only a glass or two in the evening which is a lot, lot less than he used to.

Bless him, when I told him I was stopping it took him quite a while to realise that included champagne, those little G&Ts before dinner on Sunday and Christmas day, too. I don't mind a bit, and now that he's seen me through a year of it not drinking he loves it partially because he gets a free taxi service when we go out! (And I get to go home when I've had enough, too, because I'm the one in control. Excellent.)

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thank you all.

I don't get DT's. No alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I can, and have gone days without drinking, then forget all the good intentions and binge.

That was more than I ever managed, so you've got a head start on me! I couldn't, just couldn't, go without that first glass of wine with dinner - or so I thought. Turns out with a bit of grit, determination and a lot of support - I could.

Good luck with it.

beluga

Well done for asking for help. If you don't want to go to your GP, you can self refer to your local alcohol service. I volunteer with my local service and have had help from them in the past, you really do see all walks of life and all stages of addiction there. It's scary to admit you have a problem (I'm not a fan of labels like "alcoholic") but it sounds like you want and need some support. Go and get it. There is help out there.

Savvy_Sue

Mupette wrote: »

I'm married to an alcoholic, no one thinks about the partners and families who have to cope with this

Some of us do ...

Have been meaning to suggest that OP's DH should try Al-Anon. It may also be useful for any children, there's a teenage branch too.

Honey_Bear wrote: »

I'm not reading that post the same way as everyone else. Do you think your OH has a drink problem as well? Or do you think your OH thinks your drinking is under control?

Although that is a valid question: is OH in denial about the OP's drinking, or his own?

BTW, some employers have policies in place for if someone discloses an addiction problem, and the policy is rarely "sack first and ask questions later", it's more "find out what support the employee needs and do your best to get it in place". So if that's a worry, then find out what your employer's policies are!