SEVERE Alcohol problem...can anyone help me?

Desperado_2015

Thank you. Embarrassed I can cope with, although, as I have a good relationship with my young male GP I hate to expose to him that my history (anti depressants etc) will have basically been a sham. By 'scared' I mean, scared to expose myself to the NHS. If my medical records state ALCOHOLIC.....what awful, guilty Pandoras Box am I opening up for myself....

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thank you all.

I don't get DT's. No alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I can, and have gone days without drinking, then forget all the good intentions and binge.

Like most alcoholics, then?

You need to see your GP. Not only is there the opportunity for a medically supervised withdrawal, they can find out how much damage has been done to your liver, how much of that is irreversible and whether you've got massive B vitamin deficiencies which can cause horrendous problems in themselves.

ali-t

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thanks.

OH is in denial, as I am. Scared to go to GP to admit it all.

have a look online for your local voluntary sector alcohol support service. It might be called .... council on alcohol. They often work with the nhs and with the court systems to address alcholism but will also take self referrals which will be totally confidential. If disclosing to your gp feels like a permanent change of status that you wont have control of try a voluntary sector agency.

its imoortant to take windows of opportunity when they are there, by monday your motivation to take action could be gone. There is an app/website called https://www.drinksmeter.com that you put your usage into and it breaks it down into cost, calories, damage etc. It also compares your usage to that of others who have used it so might be worth giving it a go to get the details of your use and maybe showing it to your oh to get him on board with your plans to make changes. Best wishes and take care.

sparrer

Thank you for your post, from one alcoholic to another. It reminds me where I was a while ago, and reminds me how very scary it is. I do empathise, and I agree with some of the suggestions here ie a detox programme so you don't have to feel alone. Get to your GP, don't be afraid. I worked with mine professionally and was very reluctant to make the first appointment, but he was so understanding. If yours isn't you can ask to see someone else at the practice. One thing though, please take great care about help centres - some of them are all about cutting down and drinking sensibly. In my experience it simply isn't possible, with us it's all or nothing. People with an alcohol addiction will find that one drink is too many, ten is never enough.

Please be cautious about spending thousands at private clinics, they will only give you the same help and advice as one recommended by your GP for free. They may have a pretty swimming pool and take you to the gym but that doesn't help you get well and certainly doesn't warrant the £8k plus for 4 weeks fee, as many have discovered.

If you have to get drunk to get through the day do think you're just alcohol dependent - whatever that means? You have the same symptoms I did and I was a practising alcoholic but only you can diagnose yourself. You say you've tried self-help, Allen Carr and AA, may I ask how long you tried each one for? I tried self-help but drank after 11 months. I tried hypnotism but the ladies voice made me laugh (and I didn't get a refund, I was not impressed ). I tried AA, I went to my first meeting over 10 years ago and still go twice a week. You have to stick to it, whatever it is, you can't afford to give in to it or it will do you no end of irreparable damage. Your recovery, your health, you, must come first before all else if you are to get well from this vile disease. You have to do whatever it takes for however long it takes. An alkie spends their life in recovery, there's no such thing as a recovered alcoholic. That's the harsh truth of it.

Before the programme I lost my family, my home, my job, my holiday home, my car, and so on, I drank them away. I also lost track of time, control of my bladder, the ability to feed myself. You haven't lost those things. Yet. There is always a yet. Keep drinking and you could lose a lot more than that. It took my liver 3 years to heal, my brain cells never did as those can't regenerate, and believe me alcohol loves to get inside your head. There are large gaps in my life that I have no recollection of but have been told some of the horrific things I did and said in blackout.

Now the programme keeps me well, has brought an amazing new circle of friends who care about me and my health as I do them and theirs. I have the love and trust of my family once more. The trust doesn't come overnight, you have to give it a year or two, but it's so worthwhile. Most importantly it has given me a new life. Not given me my life back, I don't ever want to go there again, but has given me a fresh new life to build on and enjoy.

Whatever you choose to do I wish you well, take care and God bless x

ps please feel free to pm me at any time. I don't and won't offer advice but am happy to listen and talk with you.

Person_one

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thank you all.

I don't get DT's. No alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I can, and have gone days without drinking, then forget all the good intentions and binge.

Please don't consider going through withdrawal/detox without medical supervision. Its really dangerous, don't take that risk now that you've made a decision that you want a better future!

Lots of areas have teams of specialist nurses who help people who are dependent on alcohol, as you almost certainly are from what you're describing. You could ask your GP if this exists in your area and ask to be referred. Its incredibly important to be totally honest when asked about your drinking. Nobody takes a job in this field if they are judgemental about addiction/dependencies, so please don't worry about that.

Blue_Bird

For admitting you have a problem. Typing it is probably easier than saying it out loud, but it's the first step.

How you see/define your alcohol intake is up to you, but I would suggest that the fact that you ''can go without and then forget and binge'' would indicate that you have a problem. A supervised medical detox would be a sensible option; it's not a simply a case of ''stop drinking = everything is fixed''. As another poster mentioned, you may have alcohol-related health issues, for example the vit B and Thiamine deficiency.

Approach your GP, he will be objective and is there to help. You've said yourself that things have progressed over the years - what's to stop it progressing further?

You mentioned that yourself and OH are in denial. It might be that other people have noticed your drinking but haven't mentioned it. I'm not saying that to be unkind, but it might not be the huge revelation to everyone that you're thinking it will be.

There are THOUSANDS of people in your position. Many people think of ''alcoholics'' or those with AD as the tramps that they see on the street with Special Brew. They aren't always. They are the middle class people that can't go a night without a bottle of wine, the lads who have 'a few cans' five nights a week. The students who go through three litres of vodka in a weekend.

Admitting this to the forum is a great start. It means you want to do something about it. Even if you're not sure what.

Sending many positive thoughts and best wishes your way.

Blue

Desperado_2015

Thank you, thank you, thank you all. Your replies are caring, insightful and helpful.

I am so scared. Scared that my liver is beyond help, scared that I will have tests that reveal the full extent of my stupidity. I stopped smoking using the Allen Carr method...so I think I sort of understand about addiction, and yet I just keep on, keeping on. I wake every morning thinking, 'today, today, I won't drink. Today is the day I will start again'. And by 9am I have a wine just because actually, when I place one foot on the floor, the thought of a day sober is so scary. I miss my sister. I had a problem with drink long before her death, but it all is just so horrible. My father died this year from Alzheimer's, and I have a needy 87 year old mother. My eldest son is a gambler, who faces jail this year because he is also a domestic abuser. I couldn't make it up, honestly. I know there is no excuse, and nothing warrants the fools way out...but I am so weak. i just want to blank it all out. I'm great at pretending to be sober (I think, but my family are not stupid) and it all seems to have escalated from getting drunk most nights, instead of just at weekends...to all day, every day. What a mess.

System

Desperado, you are not weak; you are facing one of the most difficult and demanding challenges on earth - yourself. Your first success, although it won't necessarily feel like one at the moment, is acknowledging you have a problem, the dreaded 'no power over alcohol' one.

Try to fight the temptation to find a cause or effect; what has happened to your family members is not your fault; if you keep blaming yourself or keep seeing their difficulties as a result of your own, you'll just go round in circles/down in a spiral.

Talking to others who are going through tackling an alcohol problem or feel they have come out the other side (at least for now) really does help, but it will all take time, so give yourself that time. I think you'll be surprised how many people are willing you to at least try....Oh, good luck!...

Oh, and by the way - try and get some sleep!

Desperado_2015

Sleep? Oh yes....that. x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Desperado_2015 wrote: »

Thank you, thank you, thank you all. Your replies are caring, insightful and helpful.

I am so scared. Scared that my liver is beyond help, scared that I will have tests that reveal the full extent of my stupidity. I stopped smoking using the Allen Carr method...so I think I sort of understand about addiction, and yet I just keep on, keeping on. I wake every morning thinking, 'today, today, I won't drink. Today is the day I will start again'. And by 9am I have a wine just because actually, when I place one foot on the floor, the thought of a day sober is so scary. I miss my sister. I feel so guilty about her suicide. I had a problem with drink long before her death, but it all is just so horrible. My father died this year from Alzheimer's, and I have a needy 87 year old mother. My eldest son is a gambler, who faces jail this year because he is also a domestic abuser. I couldn't make it up, honestly. I know there is no excuse, and nothing warrants the fools way out...but I am so weak. i just want to blank it all out. I'm great at pretending to be sober (I think, but my family are not stupid) and it all seems to have escalated from getting drunk most nights, instead of just at weekends...to all day, every day. What a mess.

Quite frankly, if you've knackered your liver to that extent, you need to know so you can either a) stop drinking so you can have a chance of a liver transplant or b) stop drinking so you have time to try and make amends to as many people as possible so they don't remember you as the physically present but permanently absent drunk you describe yourself as.