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SEVERE Alcohol problem...can anyone help me?

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  • dirty_magic
    dirty_magic Posts: 1,145 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Before the programme I lost my family, my home, my job, my holiday home, my car, and so on, I drank them away. I also lost track of time, control of my bladder, the ability to feed myself. You haven't lost those things. Yet. There is always a yet. Keep drinking and you could lose a lot more than that. It took my liver 3 years to heal, my brain cells never did as those can't regenerate, and believe me alcohol loves to get inside your head. There are large gaps in my life that I have no recollection of but have been told some of the horrific things I did and said in blackout.

    This! Everyone thinks it won't happen to them, but it can and it does. Don't put off going to your GP because you're worried about finding out what damage you've done. I have some experience with alcoholism, and even if your liver is almost at the point where it's ready to give up and you're really ill it can recover to a point.

    I've been told that AA is a real help if you stick with it. I know some of it can be a bit uncomfortable or strange to you at first, but if you stick with it you'll make friends who you can speak to at any time.

    No-one else can really help you, it's something you have to do yourself, but if you can find a friend who knows what it's like it will be a bit of support and encouragement.

    It might not seem like it now, but a sober life will be much happier in the end!
  • Thank you all for replies.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If my medical records state ALCOHOLIC.....what awful, guilty Pandoras Box am I opening up for myself....

    Why would that be awful? Remember that legally, you own your medical notes and they can't be shared without your agreement. You can also ask for things not to feature on your notes, unless it is safeguarding issue.
  • Thanks.

    OH is in denial, as I am. Scared to go to GP to admit it all.

    Please, please, please do exactly this. The services are there to help you.

    Have a heart to heart with your lovely husband, tell him you know you have a (drink) problem and want to deal with it before it causes major damage to your life and those you love most.

    Ask for his support and go to the doctor's together.

    You can't kick it overnight, but ONE STEP AT A TIME.

    Believe in yourself, figure out what you should do when you desperately want (another) drink, and do it together.

    I think the most important thing is to be honest. No more lies and deception to yourself or anyone else (that matters) but be realistic with expectations. You've been drinking excessively for years, so don't expect a miracle overnight. But also know that people deal with this and much worse, the world over, every day. This will just be your battle, we all have them to some degree. Please don't be defeatist!
  • bluesparkles
    bluesparkles Posts: 19 Forumite
    edited 11 October 2015 at 2:18PM
    You know you have a problem. Whats said on your medical records is the least of your worries. Also just to say that not all services who work with people who have issues with alcohol will use the word alcoholic to describe someone anyway. Whether you are functioning or barely functioning you are still you, many people go through their lives never getting help, it would be silly to stay away from support just because you are scared of getting labelled.

    You dont have to see your GP, there will be other services you can link into without doing so.

    Stop making excuses not to get help. You say you and your OH are in denial but I very much doubt that. Youve admitted you've spent the last 7 years drunk. You drink at 9am. You've fallen out with family.

    You have a hell of a lot on your plate but so do lots of other people. Alcohol isn't making anything else that's going on in your life disappear. You'll still need to face your sisters death without the booze, your son's problems, your mum.

    Life is hard, I dont need to tell you that. Giving up alcohol might be tough, but you'll probably find that life becomes far far better when you don't pick up a bottle to deal with what's going on in your life.

    Some counselling I think would be a good idea, not specifically alcohol related. If you've spent years of your life drunk there's something going on that's not necessarily to do with alcohol.

    AA isn't for everyone. You don't have to link into support services where you go to meetings and introduce yourself and say that you are an alcoholic. It works well for some people but it's not for everyone. A quick google search will point you in the direction of local services that could help you.

    To be honest, there's always someone you can compare yourself to. Ive heard people who drink far too much say its ok because they don't drink in the morning or don't drink spirits. When they know they drink way too much.

    I remember reading posts on an alcohol support forum by someone who was drinking two bottles of wine a day = around 140 units a week plus and thought she didn't have a problem because she wasnt drinking vodka and didn't get hangovers.

    You need help, you know you need help. Please get it before you end up killing yourself.
  • Google addaction. Have a look at the services they offer.

    You said in your opening post that you believe that you were alcohol dependant and not an alcoholic because you don't drive when drunk, even though you've also said that you drink at 9am.

    Your liver won't care whether you have an alcohol dependency or whether someone wants to label you as an alcoholic, you are doing the same damage to yourself whatever the label.

    If youve been drinking too much since your early 20s, that's half your life. From reading what you've written, I think stopping is your only option and that may be what terrifies you.

    Not being labelled, but having to give up alcohol. You can cope without alcohol, you can face life's problems without it. You may find that very hard to believe, but surely you deserve to make the rest of your life better than the last 7 years have been.
  • clarryd
    clarryd Posts: 637 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    As others have said before- 1st step admitting to yourself have a problem 2nd step saying it out loud/ to family 3rd step go get help fast as every day you drink your liver is getting more and more damaged and the transplant list has many people who are not abusing their body with drugs/alcohol on it. These adults and children are just unlucky that their organs don't work correctly, but have to join the same list as people who have caused damage due to miss use of substances and alcohol.

    Go get help now or it could be too late.

    Good luck.
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Thank you. Embarrassed I can cope with, although, as I have a good relationship with my young male GP I hate to expose to him that my history (anti depressants etc) will have basically been a sham. By 'scared' I mean, scared to expose myself to the NHS. If my medical records state ALCOHOLIC.....what awful, guilty Pandoras Box am I opening up for myself....

    Don't be feared to be thought a sham.

    My GP was just totally relieved when I went in and sat and spilled the beans as they were at a complete loss with me. And she was embarrassed that they hadn't picked up on my drinking. I mean they knew I drank but not to the extent

    Alcoholic is only a label which you don't have to use. No one is going to judge you. I openly admit to all health professionals I'm in contact with the extent of my drink problem, it helps them to help me

    Alcohol support services vary. I was very very lucky in that after doing a home detox I was accepted into a day rehab programme for three months. They also done an evening group which I attended weekly for 4 years. Where I live now there is nothing available. I got to detox after going along to an alcohol advice service ( self referral ) and the counselling I got there led me to decide I needed to stop for good


    I used to keep a high pressured job, keep the house and home, seemingly the perfect woman who had it all. However come 5pm I started drinking and didn't stop until I passed out, day in and day out. Never touched a drop before 5, no matter how bad I felt. High functioning drunk they call it :) however I have no recollection of most of my 30's :(

    You have made the first step, you have admitted you have a problem. Your next step is getting help and support in deciding what you want to do.

    Good luck x
  • Mupette
    Mupette Posts: 4,599 Forumite
    Your going to hate me for this, but you are here asking for help.

    Go to the GP will it embarrass you yet, will he care no, you are solely responsible for the situation you are in, a few posts you have answered have been a little .... you seem to make excuses.

    You have a choice carry on as you are, but please think of the damage to cause to your family

    Or you can get the gp appointment, who will refer you for professional help.

    I'm married to an alcoholic, no one thinks about the partners and families who have to cope with this
    GNU
    Terry Pratchett
    ((((Ripples))))
  • Hello again all. Yesterday (Sunday) I woke up and decided I just could not live like this any more. Some of the messages and comments on here really brought me up short. Im afraid I have been wallowing a bit these last couple of years. 'Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink'. How can I be too scared' to go to the GP? How can I keep doing this to myself and my family after all we have been through. I'm ashamed of myself for still seeing alcohol in a positive light (ie, thinking it is doing something for me and carrying on drinking it) when all it has done has ruined me and had so many negative effects on my life.

    By Sunday afternoon I had downloaded as many self help PDF's as I could find, joined Soberista's, and I today I made an appointment with my GP to have a chat about it all. I have not had a drink since Saturday night binge. I know it won't be easy, but I am absolutely determined to quit alcohol for good

    Thank you for the supportive comments
    Angela x
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