Parent taxi service

Newly_retired

Some country roads are extremely dangerous for cyclists of any age. It all depends.
I lived 8 miles from my school and we were taken by coach. If we needed to stay late for any reason, eg a rehearsal, it was two buses, taking well over an hour to get home. We only ever got our dad to fetch us at the end of an evening, eg school play, and then parents would take it in turns to do the taxi run.

I would certainly expect the teens to wait for the school bus. Are there no clubs, sports, drama etc on the free afternoon? As well as the library of course.

uk_american

I grew up in a similar situation. I split my time between homework at the library and a volunteer shift of a few hours once per week at a charity shop where I learned lifelong skills from employees and other volunteers such as customer service, dealing with the public, stock rotation plus being responsible for working the til and ensuring that it balanced out at the end of the day.

My parents both worked full time in hourly jobs and had no option to collect me.

If they had, I would have just sat at home doing some homework, having a snack and watching the tele. I highly recommend the volunteer option, any volunteering possible at the college even?

Andypandyboy

There is always the college library/canteen to hang out in so I wouldn't pick up on the half day.

On the other hand, I do think that parents who choose to live in the middle of nowhere when they have teenagers or even children at all are being very unfair. Kids are or should be social creatures and isolating them is not a good thing. We would have loved a particular house, but it was down a dark country lane, with no transport, so it was ruled out immediately.

For purely selfish reasons I wouldn't do it, I liked to be able to relax at night with a glass of wine and know my teens could get home. Also, when they eventually went away to university I wanted them to be able to come home and have job opportunities and a social life close by. Not run for the hills to get away.

fierystormcloud

Andypandyboy wrote: »

There is always the college library/canteen to hang out in so I wouldn't pick up on the half day.

On the other hand, I do think that parents who choose to live in the middle of nowhere when they have teenagers or even children at all are being very unfair. Kids are or should be social creatures and isolating them is not a good thing. We would have loved a particular house, but it was down a dark country lane, with no transport, so it was ruled out immediately.

For purely selfish reasons I wouldn't do it, I liked to be able to relax at night with a glass of wine and know my teens could get home. when they eventually went away to university I wanted them to be able to come home and have job opportunities and a social life close by. Not run for the hills to get away.

Although I agree that it's unfair on kids to move to a rural area and expect them to get themselves around, and if you moved when they were say, 8-9 years old, it would possibly isolate them - I have to ask; how long are you going to be basing everything in your life around your children?

If any opportunities come along, that involve moving to a rural area, are you going to turn it down because you want your 26 year old son to be only a mile away from his job?

What if your kids decide to move 100 miles away? Are you going to move with them, so life is convenient for them? And you are there to give them a lift when they want it?

I get that people love their kids, but how long are you supposed to put your own life on hold for their convenience?

Lunar_Eclipse

fierystormcloud wrote: »

how long are you supposed to put your own life on hold for their convenience?

I appreciate the sentiment of your question (& know you didn't ask me personally) but I don't see the post in question coming close to 'putting your own life on hold.'

It's more about what works best for the family as a whole, or ensuring life choices such as home location offer lifestyle components parents want for their children.

I'm currently in major taxi service zone, despite living in a town within walking distance to a train station. Sports training facilities, school and friends are still too far away to use public transport.

It's only for a short period of time in the big scheme of things.

I'm another who votes for the 'do your homework' and use the free transport though OP.

theoretica

Why not give him a set number of rides and let him decide when they are most appreciated? (Within times of reasonable conveneince to you, obviously)

Savvy_Sue

It reminds me of when we were moving from middle sized town to big city. "Oh, there are so many lovely little villages around big city," gushed many people when they heard.

And I just said "Why on earth would I want to move to a lovely little village with 3 boys about to be teenagers?"

One of them now lives in London and is very sniffy about the lack of public transport here. There's a train which runs until 10.30 pm, there's a fast bus until 8.30 pm, a normal bus which runs until 2 AM, AND a night bus, but he still thinks it's inadequate. So he walks everywhere when he's home.

Andypandyboy

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Although I agree that it's unfair on kids to move to a rural area and expect them to get themselves around, and if you moved when they were say, 8-9 years old, it would possibly isolate them - I have to ask; how long are you going to be basing everything in your life around your children?

If any opportunities come along, that involve moving to a rural area, are you going to turn it down because you want your 26 year old son to be only a mile away from his job?

What if your kids decide to move 100 miles away? Are you going to move with them, so life is convenient for them? And you are there to give them a lift when they want it?

I get that people love their kids, but how long are you supposed to put your own life on hold for their convenience?

I think if you really consider the pros and cons of living in an isolated community it really only works for anyone when they are in the prime of life. For the young it is isolating and for the older generation it is the same. So no putting your life on hold at all really as far as I can see.

Where kids choose to move to is dfferent to having to move for job opportunities, for the chance of a social life. Somewhere 25 miles from anything is not really the optimum place for anyone apart from those who are self sufficient, have transport, and who have no aspirations for a social life/cultural opportunities.

fierystormcloud

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I appreciate the sentiment of your question (& know you didn't ask me personally) but I don't see the post in question coming close to 'putting your own life on hold.'

It's more about what works best for the family as a whole, or ensuring life choices such as home location offer lifestyle components parents want for their children.

I'm currently in major taxi service zone, despite living in a town within walking distance to a train station. Sports training facilities, school and friends are still too far away to use public transport.

It's only for a short period of time in the big scheme of things.

I'm another who votes for the 'do your homework' and use the free transport though OP.

Andypandyboy wrote: »

I think if you really consider the pros and cons of living in an isolated community it really only works for anyone when they are in the prime of life. For the young it is isolating and for the older generation it is the same. So no putting your life on hold at all really as far as I can see.

Where kids choose to move to is dfferent to having to move for job opportunities, for the chance of a social life. Somewhere 25 miles from anything is not really the optimum place for anyone apart from those who are self sufficient, have transport, and who have no aspirations for a social life/cultural opportunities.

I think the two of you have either not read my posts correctly, or I am not explaining myself properly.

I did actually agree that it's unfair to move kids from a busy town with lots of amenities, to a rural area; and if that is what you do, then you should be prepared to be a taxi service for them, ferrying them about everywhere. (see the first paragraph in my post No. 25.)

However, when I said 'how long are you supposed to put your life on hold for?' I was saying 'yes you should do what makes your children happy when they are children; but how long should you continue to live your life around them when they are ADULTS not children?' (If you read my posts again, you will see that is what I was saying...)

So I agree it's best to leave your school age children in a town or city if they grew up there, as it could be very isolating for them to move, but once they hit adulthood/go to uni, then parents should be free to move where they want. In addition, when I said 'how long are you supposed your life on hold for,' I was referring to what andypandyboy said:

Andypandyboy wrote: »

Also, when they eventually went away to university I wanted them to be able to come home and have job opportunities and a social life close by. Not run for the hills to get away.

He was saying he wouldn't move to a rural area even when the kids leave uni and are working, so it's 'convenient for them. '

And what I was saying is that no-one should be expected to stay where they are, if they want to move and can have a better quality of life somewhere else, just because it's convenient for their 27 year old son, who hasn't bothered to learn to drive, because he knows his parents will do all they can to accommodate him. This way of thinking is not exactly helping young adults to be independent and live their own lives is it?

Once anyone's offspring gets to adulthood/university age, people should be free to move where they want without any explanation or guilt. If the young adult can't get themselves about, they can learn to drive; like a normal responsible adult.

Yes of course you should think about what is best for your children, when they are CHILDREN, but not when they are fully grown adults! That's just ridiculous. As I said, they will never grow up as long as mommy and daddy are living their lives around them and pandering to their wants and needs.

I know this lovely lady who lives in a big town that used to be OK, but it went had horribly downhill some 10 years ago. Well her housing association offered her a move to a little village that was perfect for her and she loved it and was desperate to move. But because her lazy and demanding 32 year old son (who couldn't drive) didn't want to move because his mates, his part time job, and the pub he frequented would be too difficult to get to, she turned it down!

I would have just moved and told the lazy devil to get taxis or learn to drive. The son left home 2 years later to move in with his girlfriend, and the lady was stuck in that horrible area. The opportunity to move never came up again. She now lives alone, the son rarely visits, and she rarely leaves the house. The bungalow in the little village would have been perfect for her, but because she put her lazy demanding 32 year old son before herself, she lost out.

Jagraf

We live in a small town walkable to bus and train. Having said that, the catchment sixth form (so equivalent to college) is a school bus away with no direct public transport. Kids come from about a ten mike radius so some of my DDs friends live 20 miles from us :eek:.

We are also a taxi service for lots of things but not for picking up from school early, I think staying at college and doing homework is a good habit to get in to, leaves them more free time in the evenings.