Parent taxi service

Elsewhere

Ozzuk wrote: »

Looking at it from another angle, I'm guessing you chose to live remotely and not them so maybe this is the price you have to pay to ensure they are socially included.

I'm not a parent though so really don't have much of a clue!

Exactly.
We live in an area with next to no bus service, and unsuitable for safe cycling, so we often had to ferry our kids around (though if there was a vaguely convenient bus we expected them to catch it.) It culminated in occasionally having to pick our daughter up in the early hours after she'd been clubbing - though thank goodness that period didn't last long as she went off to Uni.

I didn't begrudge this as I had a very full social life as a teenager as I lived in a big town and there was plenty of public transport. Not the kids' fault we chose to bury them in the country.

However, if there someone you could take turns with for lifts it might help. Have you asked around at the Youth Club?

LandyAndy

They could cycle.

BigAunty

Do you live in this area because of strong family or employment ties? What's going to happen if they both get jobs locally (if there are any to be had) that have different shift patterns?

My parents didn't live in a rural place but it was a dead one horse town full of Chavs, limited decent employment opportunities, expensive housing and limited amenities. All 3 of us left home as quickly as we could, between 16 and 19 and not to go to Uni and come home for the holidays, either.

ilikewatch

Can they get somewhere with better transport links under their own steam?

We live in a tiny village in rural Lincolnshire, and whilst the bus service to our village sounds similar to yours (one service a day), it's only a 4/5 mile cycle/walk to a small town with a railway station or a main road with far more frequent buses.

When I first moved here it used to puzzle me why there was always a pile of kids bikes chained up at the side of a main road in the middle of nowhere, then i figured it was kids from our village cycling there to catch buses.

engineer_amy

when I was living at home, we lived on a main bus route into the city so there were numerous buses per hour throughout the day. I would not have dreamed of asking my parents for a lift, but I always was very independent (stubborn?) thinking I could do it all by myself anyway.


Recently my parents moved to a more rural location, nearest bus stop over 1.5miles away, country roads with no footpaths etc, so my younger brother (25 yo) who doesn't drive is constantly asking for lifts everywhere. He is the baby of the family so gets lifted an laid anyway. My parents have now paid for driving lessons and bought a "wee" car, suitable for a new driver, just so he isn't reliant on them all the time.


But back to the OP - I don't think you are being mean by asking him to wait for the late afternoon bus, he can find somewhere to sit and do his homework for a few hours.

ilikewatch

engineer_amy wrote: »

He is the baby of the family so gets lifted an laid anyway.

Is that a Norn Iron expression? - it's a new one on me.

engineer_amy

ilikewatch wrote: »

Is that a Norn Iron expression? - it's a new one on me.

It must be! I just assumed people would know what it means! Yes lifted and laid means someone will do everything for him, he need not lift a finger.

Jagraf

martinsurrey wrote: »

I would think the parent should have the sense to realise what their choice of living arrangements would have on their child...

My parents decided to live in the sticks, they didn't complain when I asked to be fetched and carried so I could have a normal social and home life.

I'm guessing though that its not in social time, its in homework time (could be wrong). the half day can be allocated to homework, so being in college to do it is both practical and more sociable than at home in this instance.

Whether 3 miles or 25, if you use a bus for educational transport you usually have to wait for it. I don't think many parents would be able to pick their kids up during the working day.

Savvy_Sue

LandyAndy wrote: »

They could cycle.

I was thinking 'moped' for the older one ...

fierystormcloud

My oldest sister feels your pain OP. Although if your kids have been dragged out to a rural area, then you will have to suck it up til they leave home I think. If it was not their choice to go out into the sticks, then they kind of have a right to expect you to run them about.

My sister however, used to live in a town with all the shops and good transport, but it was a chavvy tip. She has a daughter who went to uni and said she hates the horrid chavvy town and will never come back, only to visit occasionally. She said she will stay in her uni city.

So, taking this information into consideration, my sister and her husband moved to a little village 5 miles from the nearest town and 20 miles from the nearest train station. However, her daughter seems to spend half her life a home, and my sister is always running her around; to see her old pals in her old town (60 mile round trips, (TWO of them as she has to get her back as well as take her!) and also she has to run her up to the little town 5 miles from them, and back, every time she wants to go to the shops, and every time she wants to go to the hairdresser/optician/doctors/dentist/nail bar/you name it, and she just runs her around everywhere, including the 40 mile round trips to the station and back.

It's a bit bad as her daughter is 20, and my sister should not be having to run her about everywhere. But she has to, as there is no public transport. My niece can't afford to pay for driving lessons and my sister can't afford them. What's more, why should she pay for them?

It's dead annoying having to constantly run kids around everywhere, and many people have to, because of poor public transport, and because they don't want kids travelling alone on public transport (understandably,) so like you, my sister is sick of it too.

But as I said, her daughter was leaving and not coming back, and she said this constantly for 2 years before she went away to uni; not just once, so my sister and her husband moved into a village as their daughter wasn't coming back. So they have a right to moan about running her about everywhere. If your kids were dragged into living in that village by you, then I guess you will have to roll with the punches.