MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

Bill has asked his best friend Ben to be best man at his wedding in the Maldives. Yet while Bill's paying for everybody's accomodation, at huge, credit-maxing cost to himself, Ben's been asked to pay for his own flights there and back. This'll push his finances to the limit; he's already struggling due to the recent flooding of his garden, and this trip'll mean harsh budgeting, and basic food for the rest of the year.
Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?
Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs:

Should Fernando pay for Lewis' service?
Should Walter's mum pay for Dennis the menace's temper tantrum?


  • trking
    trking Posts: 12 Forumite
    Ben should come clean about his finances and ask Bill to pay for his flight too - or relocate to somewhere in the UK for the wedding and save all the poor guests the costs of attending an overseas wedding. Really people should think of their guests before having a wedding overseas.
  • Middlestitch
    Middlestitch Posts: 1,486
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Agree with previous post to come clean about financial position and see how strong the 'friendship' is then.....
  • Mics_chick
    Mics_chick Posts: 12,014 Forumite
    I agree that coming clean is the only way to explain what the problem is but a possible compromise on the cost of the flight could be offering to pay what he can comfortably afford and asking his mate to pay the rest ??? :D
    You should never call somebody else a nerd or geek because everybody (even YOU !!!) is an
    "anorak" about something whether it's trains, computers, football, shoes or celebs :p :rotfl:
  • RSteve
    RSteve Posts: 23 Forumite
    No of course he shouldn't go. People who insist on having exotic weddings in expensive locations have every right to their choice but if they cannot afford to pay for friends/family to fly over, they have to accept they are putting a real financial burden on people that may just not be able to afford. They certainly couldn't be offended if someone didn't turn up.

    If he's a real friend he must know that Ben isn't wealthy and that the trip might be a problem for him financially. If he didn't care enough to take that into account, well then he obviously finds the exotic location more important than having his mate as Best Man.

    It's the groom here being selfish, not the best man.
  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Hung up my suit! Mortgage-free Glee!
    When we got married abroad we didn't tell anyone our plans so we didn't put anyone in that position, if Ben can't afford the flights he should admit it to Bill xxxx
    Free impartial debt advice from: National Debtline or Stepchange[/CENTER]
  • If Bill really wants Ben to be his best man then he should pay his expenses.

    Funnily enough, a similar thing happened to us lasrt year. My husband's best friend's son was getting married in Oxford (which to us is abroad, as we live in Spain). My friend wanted us to come so that he and my husband could play in the band together. Although we didn't mind having our holiday in the UK at that time, we didn't have the wearwithall for an overnight stay in Oxford or really even the train fare to get there. Our friend payed for a hotel for us and also hired us a car for the whole week.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • Marisan
    Marisan Posts: 96
    Mortgage-free Glee!
    No,Ben should not go.He should be totally upfront with Bill and explain that,while he offers the couple his best wishes,his finances simply won't stretch to attending an overseas do.A real friend will understand.
    .Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • ailuro2
    ailuro2 Posts: 7,535
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I agree- he shouldn't feel obliged to get himself into money worries because of flights to a mte's wedding.

    Invite them round for a barbecue in the newly refurbished garden instead. The garden will last longer than the flight.;)
    Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
    Balance 19th April '07 = minus £27,640
    Balance 1st November '09 = mortgage paid off with £1903 left over. Title deeds are now ours.
  • tallgirld
    tallgirld Posts: 484
    First Anniversary
    No he shouldn't go. HE'S BROKE!!! I was in similar situation this year. A surprise 50th birthday party was being held for my sister who lives in Miami. IM BROKE so I decided not to go. My sister who lives here offered to pay my fare. BRILLIANT!! I therefore went to the party in Miami :-)
  • I quite agree that if he is skint he should tell his mate this and if he is a true friend he would understand - saying that though I think he should post on the travel forum on here and ask if anyone can help him find cheap flights! You never know he might be able to afford it after all. :j
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