MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

deedaw_3

I think it is a long way totravel for the one day, Ben will have to take a friend as Bill will probably be otherwise occupied!! The Maldives is not a place to go on your own so the costs for Ben will double.

lizzeena

If Ben is Bill's best friend he should definitely go to the wedding. Its a once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully!) occasion and if they're really best friends he should be there.

I understand that its going to be difficult, but even if the wedding was in the UK it would include some expense. It could be in another part of the country anyway - in which case he might be looking at one or two nights accommodation and train fare / petrol money.

I think Ben should explain to Bill that he won't ba able to buy a wedding present (circa £50 at least for best mate?) and consider that a UK wedding might have cost around £150. Then he's got £200 to start his flight fund!

I don't understand why a flooded garden would be expensive. If he's replacing plants and furniture, surely that can wait until next summer?

moanymoany

No, it would be stupid to spend so much money to satisfy someone elses whim.

If Bill decides to get married in the Maldives he has to accept that there are people who can't afford the flights, don't like flying so far, would rather spend that much money on something they want or even - god forbid - keep it in the bank!

My neighbour who hates flying and hates hot, bug ridden countries was emotionally blackmailed into going to her daughter's wedding in Sri lanka. She worried herself sick about it for weeks before. Hated every minute of getting there and being there - and - within a year the couple had split up!

daffodiltulip

Why should Ben divulge his financial situation? What sort of person is Bill that he just assumes someone will want to pay out such a large sum of money, regardless of whether Ben can afford it or not, on his wedding?! If Bill is such a good friend, shouldn't he be one of the people Bill pays for? It strikes me that Bill is taking advantage of Ben being his "friend" and is trying to make savings for himself. I wonder if some of the guests that the groom is paying for aren't especially good friends or close family members, but the groom is just trying to impress them.

Kylie

We had to go to a wedding overseas (my partners brother), cost us in excess of £2000 expenses. Then the fiancee cancelled close to the wedding date and the brother decided to go around Europe instead (us expected also). So we did not get to go to see the rest of the family anyway, lost £2000 (could not get our tickets refunded and the insurance did not cover) and the had to fork out for a European trip as well!!

I am still fuming.

catkins

No he should not go. Even if he could afford it he may well not want to go. After all you would hardly go for a day would you it would have to be a few days which would be more expense and not everyone wants to go to the Maldives (I know I don't).

If people want to get married abroad that is their decision but they should not expect family and friends to want or be able to go.

In my experience the couples that have the flashiest most expensive weddings never stay together

codger

Some really touching naivety on this thread: "after all, you only get married once". Yeah. Right. And Ben's supposed to gamble a huge chunk of his own money that that's how it will all work out?

What nonsense.

The definition of a friend is one who knows and understands and is supportive of the person befriended.

Someone with a juvenile preoccupation with the glamour of an exotic wedding and no consideration for the financial burden that imposes on others is not a "best friend" but a selfish moron.

Not only should Ben not go, he should delete the happy couple from his Christmas card list ASAP. Life's too short, and too expensive, to have "friends" like that.

katiekat

MSE_Lawrence wrote: »

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:

Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

Bill has asked his best friend Ben to be best man at his wedding in the Maldives. Yet while Bill's paying for everybody's accomodation, at huge, credit-maxing cost to himself, Ben's been asked to pay for his own flights there and back. This'll push his finances to the limit; he's already struggling due to the recent flooding of his garden, and this trip'll mean harsh budgeting, and basic food for the rest of the year.

Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs:

Should Fernando pay for Lewis' service?
Should Walter's mum pay for Dennis the menace's temper tantrum?

I find myself in a similar situation. I have a friend getting married in Europe next summer my partner & I are invited but I am in £22,000 of debt gone into default & not in a good way, the thought of where my finances will be next month let alone next year is scary enough, weddings abroad are a very unfair idea on the guests invited not everyone has the financial capacity to cope with this kind of thing it's thoughtless of the couple to expect it & causes rifts when you say you can't go! Have a bit of empathy!

lolaborro

No, I got married in Mauritius and nobody came to my wedding. Nobody could afford it and I totally understood.

If he wants people to come to his wedding he should get married in the UK.

trejoy

Agree with trking, they said it true:rotfl: