MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

JayD

Well it is obviously Bill and his finacee's dream wedding and extremely generous of them to pay for all their guests accomodation, and everyone is entitled to their dreams. But they do need to realise that it is THEIR dream and although the Maldives are extremely beautiful, not all of their guests will share their enthusiasm to fork out the fare to go there. Bill and Ben are obviously very close if he has asked Ben to be his best man. They must surely have shared many experiences and straight talking should be something that is not uncomfortable for them.
I say Ben needs to tell Bill that, although he would dearly love to be his Best Man, he really cannot afford the air fare and so will have to let his friend down. It is then up to Bill to offer to pay it for him. Just a straight and simple statement of Ben's financial realities is all that is needed. If Bill can't afford that extra financial burden then Ben will just have to enjoy the video after.

Ebenezer_Screwj

It is traditional for a bridegroom to pay all expenses relating to his groomsmen and to give the best man a present, usually cufflinks or similar.
It is unreasonable and selfish of Bill to expect Ben to foot such a bill (no pun) and if Ben really is the best man for the job, he should be treated accordingly.

ailz95

I think he should thank Bill for the honour but explain to him his financial position and tell him honestly that he cannot afford it.

Ailz

Beate

I find people who decide to have a wedding in an exotic faraway place extremely selfish. Why not have the honeymoon there instead, that would not place their friends in such a dilemma. All those costs for hen/stag nights (which get out of hand these days), etc. are bad enough. If the location of their wedding is more important to them than their friends' financial situation, they should prepare themselves for a very lonely wedding abroad.

zoecrick

I think a lot of people are being a bit mean on this forum assuming that Bill has 'demanded' all his friends come out to the Maldives to celebrate his wedding. Maybe he discussed with his (and her with hers) family that him and his partner would like to go out to the Maldives and get married, they were happy to do this and then he opened up the offer to his friends saying 'this is what's happening, it'd be great if you can join us but we understand if you can't due to cost. If you are able to come out then we'll be happy to help out by providing the accomodation'. I think a wedding should be completely up to what the 2 people getting married want, and their families if they want them to join them. Yes it is selfish if they decide they want an 'exotic' wedding, but so what - they should be selfish, it is after all, all about them. Secondly, Bill should just be upfront. If he can't afford it but ends up feeling guilty and doing it anyway, he will resent Bill and it will probably become the breakdown of their friendship.

jimmyay

the maldives are rubbish. once you've seen one palm fringed atoll, you've seen them all. if you really want to do desert atolls properly, go to French Polynesia. It's great, properly exclusive (unlike the Maldives) and completely absent from the brit honeymoon chavvy wedding brigade , thank god.

Ben should tell his friends them to get a life and that they should have their wedding somewhere properly cool, and with meaning, not somewhere which people think its cool because some talentless soap star had their wedding there.

people have such little imagination these days.

in my experience most people that throw these far flung weddings thousands of miles from home are already up to their eyeballs in debt trying to "live the dream" - it makes me laugh - the actual marriage largely irrelevant, sadly when the credit card bills drop in / mortgage "holiday" ends the chickens come home to roost & their marriage turns into a nightmare!

would love to see the stats on how long these "dream" weddings that emulate those of "the stars" last. probably as long as a "stars" marriage. i give them a year or two, tops!

Ben should drop his chavvy mates.

tember10

No he should not go, come clean and say you cant afford it
if he wants you there he will have to pay, or change the venue

sandra_nz

All Ben needs to do is politely speak to Bill, thanking him for the honour of the invitation to be best man, and expressing his regret that, due to financial circumstances, he is unable to attend a wedding in the Maldives.

My husband and I come from different cities of the same country and chose to have our wedding in my home city. This meant many of our friends were required to travel (although the cost was much cheaper than flying overseas!). We made the decision knowing that our friends were wealthier than many of my family members.

We knew that one particular friend was not well off and we wanted him to give a reading at our wedding, so we gave him the money to pay his fares, not expecting it back. As it turned out, his financial situation improved and he wanted to pay us back, however we would not have insisted.

sharps2010

Abroad, I'm also not paying for anyone to come! selfish? maybe, but why should my future wife and I pay for people to eat/stay/fly to out to our wedding when we don't even see them on any other occasions?

I'll have a 50% (at least) deposit on a nice new Audi with the money I save...

Also who'd want all their family joining them for their honeymoon?? get married over there and then have a party over here if you must, it's amazing how far people will drive for a free meal!!

Anyway, Ben should tell Bill that he can't afford it and then Bill can decide whether Ben's worth an extra grand to have him there for a few hours...

Cynical ?? yup - that's me all over.




On a lighter note that bunch of robbing Bu66ers the Halifax sent me a cheque for £1032 yesterday.... :rotfl:

annbar_2

Ben should tell him NO definately not and why should he have to give his financial situation information to anyone. Bill's not exactly being his Best friend "paying for everyone else"
take a break Ben when you can afford to and let Bill go and do what he wants but dont get into debt for him or anyone else. "he's No Mate":money: