MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

martinthevet

Sorry to be a party pooper but the Maldives are a Muslim country and unless Bill has converted to this faith he cannot get married there!

Mercenary

I also say No to Ben going to the wedding.
Anyone who wants to get married where it will cause great expense to any guests should be prepared for a quiet event. It's just not fair on the guests to expect them to fork out just to watch two people get hitched.

The Wedding Industry cons so many people into having these ridiculous over-expensive occasions these days.
Why anyone would want to flush away such an extravagant amount of money on one single, fleeting day is beyond me... ...when they could use the money for something that they actually will need (house/car/furniture etc).
This is always supposing they've been bright enough to have saved the cash in the first place and have not been complete and utter idiots by getting a loan :eek: *shudders*.

A big fancy wedding does not a make a good marriage. In fact it would all be a bit of a let-down afterwards....especially when facing all the bills incurred :undecided .

panchis

Ben shouldn't go, last month i went to two of my best friend's weddings (spain and austria) and have been juggling money between credit cards to pay for those heavy hangovers.

Is not just the flight.... Ben also has to consider presents, pre-wedding party, transportation, food and pain killers.:eek:

BEN... TRUST ME, STAY AT HOME!!!

duchy

martinthevet wrote: »

Sorry to be a party pooper but the Maldives are a Muslim country and unless Bill has converted to this faith he cannot get married there!

Incorrect-there are civil ceremonies that are legal.

Britain is a Christian country do you honestly believe that Muslims, Hindus, Buddists, Wikans or even agnostics cannot marry here too ?

The groom sounds a bit of a twit to me Ben should do everyone a favour and elope with the bride to Gretna Green (sorry Bill) and save everyone the airfare to the Maldives.

djurmann

A friend invited my then wife and I to a 40th birthday party to be spent on a yacht, all very nice but I did not have the money (about £300). We did not go and I did not come clean until after the event and though he said he would have paid for us I would not have wanted to take his money. I did offer to celebrate his birthday in a restaurant - something I could afford.

Result:- He was a close friend for years but we don't really speak much now. He feels let down by me and in truth I feel let down by him. Never mind.

Joscar

I am surprised so many of you think Ben should not attend his mate's wedding. It is a happy occasion celebrating two people's commitment to each other. You guys make it sound like a chore.

By your comments, I must be very selfish, I got married abroad, not only did my guests pay for their flights and accommodation but we stayed in a resort which did not allow children so some of our friends were excluded for that reason too. Only one person mentioned the cost involved and to be honest I never expected them to go anyway. Everyone seemed to really enjoy the 2 weeks in the Caribbean that I organised at a great price, all inclusive, flying first class. I organised everything from the moment they left home. I got them a good deal because we were a large group. Plus I do not think it was an 'extravagant' wedding as compared to a British wedding it was a fraction of the cost. In fact IF we had of paid for everyone's flights and accomodation it would still have been cheaper than the average UK wedding.

I figured it was my once in a life time opportunity to chose where we and our family went on holiday so I chose a place I knew I would like.

And for those that could not travel we had a party when we got home.

jackieblack

RSteve wrote: »

No of course he shouldn't go. People who insist on having exotic weddings in expensive locations have every right to their choice but if they cannot afford to pay for friends/family to fly over, they have to accept they are putting a real financial burden on people that may just not be able to afford. They certainly couldn't be offended if someone didn't turn up.

If he's a real friend he must know that Ben isn't wealthy and that the trip might be a problem for him financially. If he didn't care enough to take that into account, well then he obviously finds the exotic location more important than having his mate as Best Man.

It's the groom here being selfish, not the best man.

I quite agree!

sluggy1967

djurmann wrote: »

A friend invited my then wife and I to a 40th birthday party to be spent on a yacht, all very nice but I did not have the money (about £300). We did not go and I did not come clean until after the event and though he said he would have paid for us I would not have wanted to take his money. I did offer to celebrate his birthday in a restaurant - something I could afford.

Result:- He was a close friend for years but we don't really speak much now. He feels let down by me and in truth I feel let down by him. Never mind.

You shouldn't have to explain your financial situation to others, sorry to hear you have such a shallow friend!

WifeyDearest

Joscar wrote: »

I am surprised so many of you think Ben should not attend his mate's wedding. It is a happy occasion celebrating two people's commitment to each other. You guys make it sound like a chore.

Here, here! Good Lord willing this wedding will be the only one Bill ever has. Whilst Ben needs to weigh up his financial position, if he is close enough to Bill to be asked to be the Best Man, he should want to do everything he can to afford it.

If Ben ultimately decides to decline, he should be very up front with Bill so that there are no hard feelings; if Bill values the friendship that much he'll be disappointed but will understand. If Ben accepts the Best Man role and scrapes the money together for the flights, then he should agree with Bill that the Stag do & the rest of the wedding niceities be kept to a minimum of expense, again being up front about the costs.

And most of all, if he accepts, he should be sure to have the best possible time and ensure he gets value for the money he spent!

My hubby & I (He's English, I'm American) had a wedding in the States & a blessing here in the UK. Our parents paid for both dos, and my in-laws also paid for their flights over to the American one.

Our best man & the couple of other friends who attended the American do all paid for their own flights and made a holiday out of it. Mind you, my parents put all of the UK visitors up in their home for the duration of their visits and paid for all the meals that were had under their roof.

Hubby & I would have loved to help out, but were not in a financial position to do so. Seven years on and we continue to be grateful to our friends & family who helped us build fond memories of our first days as husband & wife.

jillie1974

ben should point out that the maldives do not offer wedding ceromonies only blessings...
so in theory they would have to get married in uk first where he can be best man