MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Ben go to Bill's wedding?

hilary1

nobody should go into debt for some-one elses wedding or anything else.

If they wanted everyone to go they'd get married in the UK as some-one else said.

Have a party when they get back.

x

Janine_Brockway

I think that again, he should come clean but see if any other friends that are going or close family could club in to help him out. He could also get a part time job extra just for a few months until he has saved. Or the friend could have the holiday in the UK and honeymoon in the Maldives (everyone is still happy then). I think a discussion will solve everything. I am sure the groom didnt realise his best mates predicament and they can come to some sort of agreement. At the end of the day, its highly important that he is best man, so some solution will come to light!

Janine x:beer:

SueC_2

The fact that he is wondering whether or not to go says it all.

If something really MATTERS then you find a way of affording it. If you are wondering whether it is important enough to find a way of affording it, then you have your answer.

A very good friend of mine got married under very special circumstances, and neither hell nor highwater could have kept me away. It wouldn't have mattered if I'd had to go without food for a month. Equally though, there have been less special weddings where I haven't been able to afford a gift / a new frock / overnight accommodation / to get there at all.

In all cases though I haven't had to think about it, it's been blatantly clear where my priorities lie. His hesitancy reflects that Ben knows what he wants to do, but feels guilty. Ditch the guilt!!!!

gravitytolls

If he's paying for all the other guests, why isn't he paying for his best man?

P'raps they cuold do it via live interweb link?

I wouldn't go.

djurmann

And thanks to the people who said you should not have to give out financial info! I agree.

On a different note I meant to say my lovely wife (not my then wife)!

Woodyrocks

If they are b/f then Ben should feel no way about telling Bill of his situation. As already mentioned you kinda expect to get into debt over your wedding so Bill might want him there bady enought to warrant another knock on his credit card.

If all else fails he can always be there via videolink

Woodyrocks

catkins wrote: »

No he should not go. Even if he could afford it he may well not want to go. After all you would hardly go for a day would you it would have to be a few days which would be more expense and not everyone wants to go to the Maldives (I know I don't).

If people want to get married abroad that is their decision but they should not expect family and friends to want or be able to go.

In my experience the couples that have the flashiest most expensive weddings never stay together

Funny you should say that because I am considering a wedding abroad because it is actually cheaper than having one at home and not for reasons of flashness or extravagance. Some may also use it is as a way of keeping numbers down to closest and dearest.

*Denise*_2

I don't think it's a moral dilemma.

It's simply a case of Ben deciding what he wants to do. As multiple posters have said the groom cannot expect everyone to want to spend the money (and the time!) on his wedding. Ben is under no obligation and should not feel that he is.

If Ben decides not to go he will have to judge how best to tell this to Bill.

When my husband and I got married 10 years ago, we briefly considered going abroad. But as we could not afford to pay for all our guests to come and we could not expect them to afford it, or even want to give up so much time, we realised that a foreign wedding would be just the two of us. So that decided us to stay at home. In the end we kept it small (about 20 of us) and split our budget equally between the wedding day and a 4 week around the world honeymoon!

lfc84

He should go

:beer:

George_Bray

I see the Maldives as a top end, luxury, dream holiday type destination. The reason it's a bit special, I guess, is that relatively few people can afford to go there! Very nice if you can afford it but you shouldn't expect that all your friends and relatives will be able to afford it too, without sacrificing too much elsewhere.

I saw one or two wedding parties at a hotel on Antigua. They struck me as looking a bit out of place amongst all the other people simply enjoying a general beach holiday. I think the atmosphere of a British church is much more attractive, not that I'm the slightest bit religious.