Missing lodger

Person_one

cyantist wrote: »

I have messaged his ex, just waiting for a reply. We aren't friends on facebook so hopefully she still sees the message.

If you're not friends it will go into the 'other' mailbox. Some people go months or years without checking that one!

I suppose I don't understand the reluctance to call 101. It seems the obvious choice to me. Somebody who lives with you has gone completely awol, is uncontactable, but has left all their stuff behind. He's probably fine but in case he's not, just tell the police the situation and what you've done to try and get in touch.

cyantist

Person_one it's because, as several people here have said, they can't actually tell me anything as I'm not family. I'm not seeing what I can gain from calling them.

Also... he has had slight run-ins with the police before, and has been to prison (sounds like we picked a great lodger doesn't it?) so I'd rather try other means of contact first if I can because of that.

Person_one

cyantist wrote: »

Person_one it's because, as several people here have said, they can't actually tell me anything as I'm not family. I'm not seeing what I can gain from calling them.

No, they can't necessarily tell you anything, but that's not the point surely? The point is that if he is somehow in trouble or something untoward has happened, you are telling them that he's vanished for his sake.

Its nothing to do with what you can gain by doing so!

cyantist

He would go to his Nan's every single day. Also he would see his friends at least 3 times a week.

There is no way that if they haven't seen him or heard from him in over 3 weeks, that they wouldn't have informed the police already.

Person_one

cyantist wrote: »

He would go to his Nan's every single day. Also he would see his friends at least 3 times a week.

There is no way that if they haven't seen him or heard from him in over 3 weeks, that they wouldn't have informed the police already.

Well, he lives in your house, you haven't seen him for three weeks and you still haven't called them!

If you feel your conscience is clear, fair enough, but what harm can a quick call to 101 do? What reason is there not to?

minerva_windsong

Do you have contact details for his nan? I appreciate it's a tricky one as you might not want to worry her unnecessarily, but if he sees her every day it would be my first port of call to see if he's been round recently (or even if it's something like she's been taken ill and he's staying with her for a bit and hasn't been able to get in touch with you). Equally if he hasn't come to see her for a while she might be worrying about him but not able to get in touch with you or his friends to find out if he's all right and doesn't want to contact the police as it's 'not worth their while' - some older people can feel a bit uncomfortable 'bothering' authority figures.

If not, then I agree with person_one to call 101. Even if they can't tell you anything, better to flag it to them and he strolls through the door tomorrow than do nothing and be worrying about him.

cyantist

We don't have any contact details for his Nan unfortunately. There have been times at home when he has missed a call from his Nan. Without fail within minutes his Aunt is calling asking why he isn't speaking to his Nan, followed almost immediately by a call from his Mum asking the same thing. He used to talk about his family to us a lot and his Nan would not think twice about contacting all of his family is she couldn't get hold of him for 15 minutes never mind 15 days!

Though after her recent stroke, there is a chance something could have happened to her and he is looking after her. This doesn't explain his phone not being on at all though.

I will call 101 later though as there's nothing to lose and it's not like we're being overcautious as it has been long enough.

In the meantime, would it be out of order to sort his room out? It's a bit of a mess and smells but I'm not sure what rules there are about privacy and a lodgers personal belongings.

Faith177

cyantist wrote: »

We don't have any contact details for his Nan unfortunately. There have been times at home when he has missed a call from his Nan. Without fail within minutes his Aunt is calling asking why he isn't speaking to his Nan, followed almost immediately by a call from his Mum asking the same thing. He used to talk about his family to us a lot and his Nan would not think twice about contacting all of his family is she couldn't get hold of him for 15 minutes never mind 15 days!

Though after her recent stroke, there is a chance something could have happened to her and he is looking after her. This doesn't explain his phone not being on at all though.

I will call 101 later though as there's nothing to lose and it's not like we're being overcautious as it has been long enough.

In the meantime, would it be out of order to sort his room out? It's a bit of a mess and smells but I'm not sure what rules there are about privacy and a lodgers personal belongings.

Just a thought but if God forbid she's in ICU then that could by why his phone is off a stretch I know but might explain it

Also if she is seriously ill he might not be in the mood to make contact with people or just has more pressing things on his mind

Person_one

cyantist wrote: »

I will call 101 later though as there's nothing to lose and it's not like we're being overcautious as it has been long enough.

In the meantime

You're going to call 101 'later' but waste time fussing around his room first?

Why are you so averse to calling 101 that you're now using delaying tactics? Look, I've done it a few times, the people who answer are perfectly friendly and nice, if you explain the situation it'll be straightforward and easy, its not a stressful or difficult thing to do at all, I promise.

cyantist

Just got a message back from his ex saying she hasn't spoken to him for ages and doesn't know anything that would be helpful.

She would have known if something had happened to him, and also would have known if something had happened to his Nan so I guess that's good at least.