Missing lodger

cyantist

We haven’t seen our lodger for 3 weeks. At first we weren’t worried as it's not out of character and he mentioned that he had some work very near his Nan’s (not far away but not sure exactly where she lives) so it was easier to stay there until that was complete. He stays there a lot as she recently had a stroke so he helps her with various things, and he has a lot of friends/family nearby so often would be gone for several days at a time. But the rent is now overdue (never happened before) and his phone doesn’t ring, just goes straight to voicemail and no iMessages are getting through either.

On the one hand we are worried, but then if anything bad had happened surely we’d have been informed. He is on the electoral register here and most of his family and friends have been round at some point so if something bad had happened I’m sure they’d have told us.

What should I do?

Person_one

If you've tried every means of contact that you have with no response, then call 101 and tell the police what you've told us.

Hopefully he's fine and well and he's just decided to skip out on you, but at least you won't be worrying that he's in a ditch somewhere and nobody knows.

LilElvis

Do you have any contact numbers? Friends, family, work?

Has he left his stuff at your house?

Guest101

Just FYI, whilst friends might tell you, emergency services cannot (even if they had the desire to) tell you.

- I only mention this as you said the electoral register.

Does he pay weekly or monthly. I would give benefit of the doubt and allow either 1 month if monthly, or 2 weeks if weekly and if still no news - pack up his belongings into boxes.

cyantist

Person_one wrote: »

If you've tried every means of contact that you have with no response, then call 101 and tell the police what you've told us.

Hopefully he's fine and well and he's just decided to skip out on you, but at least you won't be worrying that he's in a ditch somewhere and nobody knows.

Thanks, I feel like I should do this. If other people suggest it it reassures me I'm not being extreme.

LilElvis wrote: »

Do you have any contact numbers? Friends, family, work?

Has he left his stuff at your house?

All his stuff is still here apart from a small overnight bag he took 3 weeks ago.

No contact details for any friends or family. Only person I could contact would be his ex girlfriend through facebook, which seems a bit weird (though they have a lot of mutual friends/family so she'd probably know if something was up).

Guest101 wrote: »

Just FYI, whilst friends might tell you, emergency services cannot (even if they had the desire to) tell you.

- I only mention this as you said the electoral register.

This makes me a bit more worried now! It makes sense there's no need to inform housemates if something happens. And while his family and friends know where we live if there was something wrong last thing on their mind would be to drive to ours on the off chance we are in.

Guest101

cyantist wrote: »

Thanks, I feel like I should do this. If other people suggest it it reassures me I'm not being extreme.



All his stuff is still here apart from a small overnight bag he took 3 weeks ago.

No contact details for any friends or family. Only person I could contact would be his ex girlfriend through facebook, which seems a bit weird (though they have a lot of mutual friends/family so she'd probably know if something was up).



This makes me a bit more worried now! It makes sense there's no need to inform housemates if something happens. And while his family and friends know where we live if there was something wrong last thing on their mind would be to drive to ours on the off chance we are in.

It's not even no need. Simply cant do it.

Hospital staff would contact the next of kin - They simply cannot release any details outside of this.

The police wouldn't contact anyone unless he asked them to (though he'd be released by now in all likelyhood)

The Ex-GF could be an idea.
Something like:

Hi _,

Sorry to bother you, just wondering if you've heard from _ in the last few weeks.

If you do hear from him could you ask him to get in touch with me on 07_____

Thanks

_

pmlindyloo

Definitely ex girl friend if they have mutual friends.

Might be an idea to get your lodger/future lodger to complete a simple form giving contact details of next of kin/someone to contact in an emergency. Saves a lot of hassle.

Person_one

pmlindyloo wrote: »

Might be an idea to get your lodger/future lodger to complete a simple form giving contact details of next of kin/someone to contact in an emergency. Saves a lot of hassle.

Good idea.

mgdavid

Did you not take any references when he moved in? They would be the type of contacts who should know about him.

BigAunty

Be sure to highlight your concern is for his welfare but that type of contact you propose is problematic. You say his long absences are in character.

It could come across, accidentally, that you are chasing him for rent arrears on social media via his friends/relatives.

I think formal lodgers application forms have a next of kin section for emergencies so consider this next time.

peachyprice

cyantist wrote: »

This makes me a bit more worried now! It makes sense there's no need to inform housemates if something happens. And while his family and friends know where we live if there was something wrong last thing on their mind would be to drive to ours on the off chance we are in.

If his official address is your address they would have come there first, they wouldn't know you weren't his family/NoK until after they'd visited his (your) home and you had told them he was just a lodger.