I Think She Has Munchausen's Syndrome?

Laconic

Whatever the true facts of the situation, it sounds like this is one stressful situation.

Regarding your step-daughter-in-law, you do not like her enough, you do not respect her enough and you do not trust her enough to be a good or proper influence in her life. That's okay -- we don't like everyone. However, you need to recognise that and *leave her alone*! You can't bring good things to her life with your current attitude, so take care not to add bad things either.

Do be kind to her child -- a kid can never have too many grandmothers, especially when life's unstable. Be neutral to her, neither friendly nor hostile. And quit with discussing her behind her back. Don't entertain conversations about her, not even with your husband -- it's his child, in-law and grandchild and he should take up concerns with them, not you. Change the subject.

IF, in the future, at first hand, you witness her maltreating the child, then by all means do take some action. Otherwise, stay out. You'll be better off, and so will everyone else.

bluelass

It is all well everyone thinking im bullying her in some way I am certainly not at all. Just after 7pm tonight my hub got a call from her she pleaded it was urgent. On arriving at their house my hub asked where his son was he was having a bath and she told us (very calmly I might add) that when she went to collect the little one from the nursery he was soaking and had a very soiled nappy and when she got home she took it off and noticed bruising on his bottom. When my hub asked had she informed his son of this she said no because she doesn't want to stress him?? My hub then asked if he could take a look at the little lad and she got weepy and defensive and told my hub he wasn't a doctor. We waited until his son finished his bath and came downstairs. He looked surprised to see us and my hub told him the reason for our presence. He turned to her and asked why she hadn't said anything to him and she started crying he took little uns nappy off and there was no sign of anything other than a perfectly healthy toddlers bum. He went into the kitchen with my hub for over 30 minutes whilst she just sat watching TV weeping. When they came out of the kitchen my hub just said goodbye to them both and when we got into the car he said she needs to see the family doctor and his son is going to call the surgery tomorrow.

LilElvis

What a fantastically dysfunctional family you have, OP.

Some sort of therapy for all of you seems to be vital.

coolcait

bluelass wrote: »

...bruising on his bottom.
...no sign of anything other than a perfectly healthy ... bum. ...

It's not the first time that the child's mother has said that there was bruising on the child's bottom - going by your posts, that happened before the child was 18 months old.


However, there's nothing in your posts - including your posts on this thread, which you started on 21/9/15 - which suggests that anyone in your family checked those claims out.


What was it about this particular incident today (telephone call at 7.00pm on 22/9/15) which made you and your OH go to the child's home and check under the nappy?

Mupette

OP you are the little boys grandmother are you not?

You have not really mentioned how you help her, if this really was a concern what are you doing to help?

your daughter in law may have MH problems, that is something the whole family should try and help with, but first she needs to see a doctor, get a proper diagnosis, it could even be PND, we don't know as we are not experts.

But what does stand out is your changing your story every few posts, first its your step son's wife then your husband.

Oh and please press the enter button now and then to create space between paragraphs, it would make reading your stories easier.


But please answer this, What are you doing as a grandmother to help support your son and daughter in law (none of this step this and that, its family)

Pollycat

bluelass wrote: »

It is all well everyone thinking im bullying her in some way I am certainly not at all. Just after 7pm tonight my hub got a call from her she pleaded it was urgent. On arriving at their house my hub asked where his son was he was having a bath and she told us (very calmly I might add) that when she went to collect the little one from the nursery he was soaking and had a very soiled nappy and when she got home she took it off and noticed bruising on his bottom. When my hub asked had she informed his son of this she said no because she doesn't want to stress him?? My hub then asked if he could take a look at the little lad and she got weepy and defensive and told my hub he wasn't a doctor. We waited until his son finished his bath and came downstairs. He looked surprised to see us and my hub told him the reason for our presence. He turned to her and asked why she hadn't said anything to him and she started crying he took little uns nappy off and there was no sign of anything other than a perfectly healthy toddlers bum. He went into the kitchen with my hub for over 30 minutes whilst she just sat watching TV weeping. When they came out of the kitchen my hub just said goodbye to them both and when we got into the car he said she needs to see the family doctor and his son is going to call the surgery tomorrow.

This alleged incident seems very timely to back up your story.

splishsplash

Why does your husband's daughter-in-law phone your husband so often?
Why does your husband take the calls?

Pollycat

splishsplash wrote: »

Why does your husband's daughter-in-law phone your husband so often?
Why does your husband take the calls?

I also asked that question, as did Fbaby.

Pollycat wrote: »

Excellent question.

Why is your step-son's partner ringing up your husband instead of her partner?

curls

Do you think she might be hoping you and/or your husband will offer to look after the baby if she says he's not being cared for elsewhere?

Georgiegirl256

I don't know who tells the taller tales OP? You or your step daughter in-law?