I Think She Has Munchausen's Syndrome?

bluelass

My hubby son's partner Im not too sure if she has a mental health issue so please feel free to comment or advise. She is always saying their son (my hubs grandson) is ill or there is something wrong eg a few weeks ago she rushed him to hospital saying he put rat poison in his mouth but there was none in their house and she says he got over a neighbours fence and picked it up in their yard. The boy is almost 3 now and the night before she was due to return to work after maternity leave she rang my hub at midnight saying she didn't know what to do has she heared the nursery he was going to had a bad reputation although she had arranged for him to go there 3 months earlier. As soon as he started going to the nursery she told us she thought one of the staff was physically abusing him and not changing his nappy. Then she said he was not being fed or given fluids, my hubby contacted the nursery to be told by the manager that this would never be allowed to happen and my hubby took the nursery's word. A few days later his sons partner phoned him again saying when she went to collect him a member of staff had given him a can of shaving foam to play with alone in a cot (he was 11 months then) again my hub contacted the nursery and received the same reply. Then just under 6 months later she came crying over to our house saying she had seen a young member of staff being rough with him and said he had bruises on his bottom to which my hub went round in person to the nursery the following morning and the manager insisted this was untrue it actually was none of the other parents had made such claims. A month later she stormed out of the nursery refusing to pay that months fee saying they had abused him by trying to feed him a burger on a bun at 11 months old. She found a registered child minder and still refused to pay the nursery. 6 weeks after he started with the child minder she said he was being handled rough by her and she found another one only to say the same thing later on. She then found another nursery. They live in a rented house and she says she has found the boy holding rats and took him to hospital to make sure he hasn't caught anything. She has been to hospital on at least 8 occasions citing many suspected illnesses. She wants to move into their own house but they are saving for a decent deposit and she still insists the house they currently rent is unsafe. The previous one they rented she found many faults with and they were there for only 5 months. They could live with her parents who own a larger house than us or my hubs ex wife but she says they will interfere. Now my hubs son says she wants another baby but they cannot afford it as the boy doesn't start school until next year and they wont be able to keep saving for a deposit if they have to pay for another nursery. But I don't think she will cope with a 3 year old and a baby with her mental state should I tell someone?.

duchy

No but her partner should if he is concerned.

Most of what you are saying is secondhand or possibly third hand.. some of it doesn't make sense-Like the bruises on the baby's bottom. If there was no bruising - why did the Father visit the nursery - for example.

Your step-son is an adult and she's his partner. It's his decision to make and your job (and more so your husband's) to support him at what sounds like a difficult time for an overstretched family.

Perhaps she is finding working and parenting too much and should consider cutting back her hours or becoming a SAHM even if this delays buying a home of their own.

Oh and it's Munchausens by proxy btw if she had Munchausens she'd think *she* was sick not the child.

Mojisola

bluelass wrote: »

My hubby son's partner Im not too sure if she has a mental health issue so please feel free to comment or advise.

She is always saying their son (my hubs grandson) is ill or there is something wrong eg a few weeks ago she rushed him to hospital saying he put rat poison in his mouth but there was none in their house and she says he got over a neighbours fence and picked it up in their yard.

The boy is almost 3 now and the night before she was due to return to work after maternity leave she rang my hub at midnight saying she didn't know what to do has she heared the nursery he was going to had a bad reputation although she had arranged for him to go there 3 months earlier.

As soon as he started going to the nursery she told us she thought one of the staff was physically abusing him and not changing his nappy. Then she said he was not being fed or given fluids, my hubby contacted the nursery to be told by the manager that this would never be allowed to happen and my hubby took the nursery's word.

A few days later his sons partner phoned him again saying when she went to collect him a member of staff had given him a can of shaving foam to play with alone in a cot (he was 11 months then) again my hub contacted the nursery and received the same reply.

Then just under 6 months later she came crying over to our house saying she had seen a young member of staff being rough with him and said he had bruises on his bottom to which my hub went round in person to the nursery the following morning and the manager insisted this was untrue it actually was none of the other parents had made such claims.

A month later she stormed out of the nursery refusing to pay that months fee saying they had abused him by trying to feed him a burger on a bun at 11 months old.

She found a registered child minder and still refused to pay the nursery. 6 weeks after he started with the child minder she said he was being handled rough by her and she found another one only to say the same thing later on. She then found another nursery.

They live in a rented house and she says she has found the boy holding rats and took him to hospital to make sure he hasn't caught anything. She has been to hospital on at least 8 occasions citing many suspected illnesses. She wants to move into their own house but they are saving for a decent deposit and she still insists the house they currently rent is unsafe. The previous one they rented she found many faults with and they were there for only 5 months.

They could live with her parents who own a larger house than us or my hubs ex wife but she says they will interfere. Now my hubs son says she wants another baby but they cannot afford it as the boy doesn't start school until next year and they wont be able to keep saving for a deposit if they have to pay for another nursery. But I don't think she will cope with a 3 year old and a baby with her mental state should I tell someone?.

Did your son see any bruises on the baby's bottom?

What does your son say about his partner's behaviour?

Person_one

Nobody on here can diagnose mental illness, neither can you.

Anybody who is concerned about the safety of a child can make an anonymous call to the police, to social services or to the NSPCC if they feel that is necessary.

Oh, and this forum is public and popular, so anybody can read it and recognise information from their life if their family are posting about them in great detail!

tykesi

bluelass wrote: »

My hubby son's partner Im not too sure if she has a mental health issue so please feel free to comment or advise. She is always saying their son (my hubs grandson) is ill or there is something wrong eg a few weeks ago she rushed him to hospital saying he put rat poison in his mouth but there was none in their house and she says he got over a neighbours fence and picked it up in their yard. The boy is almost 3 now and the night before she was due to return to work after maternity leave she rang my hub at midnight saying she didn't know what to do has she heared the nursery he was going to had a bad reputation although she had arranged for him to go there 3 months earlier. As soon as he started going to the nursery she told us she thought one of the staff was physically abusing him and not changing his nappy. Then she said he was not being fed or given fluids, my hubby contacted the nursery to be told by the manager that this would never be allowed to happen and my hubby took the nursery's word. A few days later his sons partner phoned him again saying when she went to collect him a member of staff had given him a can of shaving foam to play with alone in a cot (he was 11 months then) again my hub contacted the nursery and received the same reply. Then just under 6 months later she came crying over to our house saying she had seen a young member of staff being rough with him and said he had bruises on his bottom to which my hub went round in person to the nursery the following morning and the manager insisted this was untrue it actually was none of the other parents had made such claims. A month later she stormed out of the nursery refusing to pay that months fee saying they had abused him by trying to feed him a burger on a bun at 11 months old. She found a registered child minder and still refused to pay the nursery. 6 weeks after he started with the child minder she said he was being handled rough by her and she found another one only to say the same thing later on. She then found another nursery. They live in a rented house and she says she has found the boy holding rats and took him to hospital to make sure he hasn't caught anything. She has been to hospital on at least 8 occasions citing many suspected illnesses. She wants to move into their own house but they are saving for a decent deposit and she still insists the house they currently rent is unsafe. The previous one they rented she found many faults with and they were there for only 5 months. They could live with her parents who own a larger house than us or my hubs ex wife but she says they will interfere. Now my hubs son says she wants another baby but they cannot afford it as the boy doesn't start school until next year and they wont be able to keep saving for a deposit if they have to pay for another nursery. But I don't think she will cope with a 3 year old and a baby with her mental state should I tell someone?.

He was 11 months old for a very long time, are you sure he's actually 3 now?

tomtontom

She sounds like a first time mum who needs support and understanding, not an unqualified diagnosis of serious mental illness.

System

Bruises on the bum... That takes an incredible impact to bruise the bum even on a child. If someone was being rough or giving the kid a slap there would be no bruise just red marks.

pandora205

It's called fabricated and induced illness these days not Munchausen's.

Mrshaworth2b

tomtontom wrote: »

She sounds like a first time mum who needs support and understanding, not an unqualified diagnosis of serious mental illness.

I wouldn't say this is normal behaviour of a first time mum, second time mum or a tenth time mum.

She does however need support, it sounds as though her anxiety levels are through the roof, however I think her partner needs to be the one that helps arrange this support for her. As been said you may be hearing this fourth hand.

pinkteapot

Where is hubby's son in all of this?

FBaby

If she's been to hospital 8 times in 3 years time, I would have expected this to be picked up and the hospital safeguarding processes to have kicked in. These are now very tight.

I'm confused why it is your husband who was in contact with the nursery and not his son? What does his son think of all this?