I Think She Has Munchausen's Syndrome?

bluelass

The boy in three next month and his father is my hubby's son I am not his natural mother. I think my hubs son is fed up to be honest. Every time she says something to us the boys father repeats a different version to hers, my hub says he thinks she is a bit mixed up. She works 30 hours in a office type sales job and her mum does a lot of child sitting when he isn't at the nursery so she isn't without support. I think it is her mum who is wanting her to have a second child too, she seems to be over zealous herself.

comeandgo

Why is your husband getting involved by going to nursery etc? Can't the father of the child deal with it?

VfM4meplse

Unless you have a clear suspicion that you step grandchild is at risk of harm from his mother, I think it's time to mind your own business and let his parents get on with it.

Enjoy spending time with your step grandson by all means, but ask his parents to keep their domestics to themselves.

fabforty

bluelass wrote: »

The boy in three next month and his father is my hubby's son I am not his natural mother. I think my hubs son is fed up to be honest. Every time she says something to us the boys father repeats a different version to hers, my hub says he thinks she is a bit mixed up. She works 30 hours in a office type sales job and her mum does a lot of child sitting when he isn't at the nursery so she isn't without support. I think it is her mum who is wanting her to have a second child too, she seems to be over zealous herself.

The father doesn't have the luxury of being 'fed up', while your husband deals with everything. They both sound young, but he needs to take some responsibility for dealing with whatever is going on.

[Deleted User]

I'm not one of those who thinks mind your own business or don't interfere . From what you say and as long as you are sure you are giving a factual account of things I think that the actions of this lady are worrying and for the little boys sake something should be done.

At the very least he is being pushed from pillar to post with numerous changes of nursery and that cannot be good for the emotional
Security of a small child.

Personally I would call a family summit with the four adults involved and including your SIL who needs to step up.

I think you need to openly discuss your concerns and state your husband cannot be at the beck n call of this lady having to constantly be in touch with the nursery . Maybe this lady enjoys the attention from your husband because her own sees through her.

If you do not have a clear way forward ( there can't be something wrong with every one of these nurseries) then yes I would raise my concerns, probably get some guidance from the family doctor, and if something untoward does happen there is a record of it.

The worst thing ever would be her falsely accusing some innocent party of abusing her son or her herself putting hazardous items in his reach .

She is clearly struggling and for the boys sake someone has to offer her any support she needs whilst balancing the needs of the boy.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

I'm confused why it is your husband who was in contact with the nursery and not his son? What does his son think of all this?

Excellent question.

Why is your step-son's partner ringing up your husband instead of her partner?

LilElvis

OP - this isn't the first, or even the second, thread that you have started about your stepsons partner. It's obvious you dislike her intensely. Stay out of it, because if a stranger on a forum has picked up on your feelings about her then it is very likely that she, and your stepson, are also fully aware of your animosity. I would ask how you would feel if your meddling destroyed a family, but I think the truth is that nothing would make you happier.

tomtontom

This the one?

bluelass wrote: »

Firstly my congratulations on your boy:) What I mean is their is a women in my family circle who is always pleading hardship. Herself and her partner come out with (net) £700 or just over every week but she claims they cant afford luxuries like designer childrens clothes and now its fancy chrismas presents, she wants to buy him a wooden playhouse costing £1500 but oh no she cant afford it and is asking me and my hub. She and her other half smoke 20 a day each and she has a box of thorntons continental chocs everyday. Yes she has to pay nursery fees but gets childcare vouchers and child benefit. Loads of bottles of fizzy pop too at least two 2 litre bottles of coca cola each day too. And as you might have guessed she is obese. Her OH wanted to wait a year longer to start a family (child is 2 now) but she claims a dr told her if she didn't try before she was 30 it wouldn't happen.

I know who my sympathy is with!

pebbles88

OP posts regularly about the sil & his partner.

pebbles88

LilElvis wrote: »

OP - this isn't the first, or even the second, thread that you have started about your stepsons partner. It's obvious you dislike her intensely. Stay out of it, because if a stranger on a forum has picked up on your feelings about her then it is very likely that she, and your stepson, are also fully aware of your animosity. I would ask how you would feel if your meddling destroyed a family, but I think the truth is that nothing would make you happier.

Missed this before I posted, but agree with it. No one but the two people in a relationship really know what's going on. Any interference will come back on you badly.