Would you be annoyed/upset at this scenario in the workplace?

TopQuark

Hello OP,


I can totally relate to your situation and understand why you'd be feeling a little hurt. But others have made some good points about this possibly being related to pregnancy and people being worried about bad news and acting inappropriately. If in doubt, do nothing, which is what may well be happening. But even if this isn't the case, try not to get too dis-spirited. We don't choose the people we work with, we just have to be civil with them to get the job done. If one is lucky enough to have great colleagues, then so much the better, but if not, then as the French say; 'tant pis' (oh well)!


I say I can relate to you as I myself am 23 weeks pregnant and have been signed off work at various points with health issues. I work in a male-dominated environment and my immediate manager (who has 3 children) has constantly told me that his wife adored being pregnant and had no issues, so he doesn't really understand why I can't just get on with it. I found it quite hurtful that he could be so insensitive and spent a while feeling annoyed about it until I thought, why do I care really? He is not my friend, he is not important to me, so tant pis!


Anyway, I hope you start to feel better soon and wish you well with the remainder of your pregnancy

pimento

I'd be opting out of the fund when I went back to work. In fact, I don't think I'd have joined it in the first place. I hate all that kind of over organised stuff.

moneyistooshorttomention

Turtle wrote: »

I wouldn't be thinking the rules have changed, you'll get something when the baby's born. If they sent you something now then you'd get 2 'pay outs' and I can imagine lots of other people wouldn't think that was fair either.

That was what I was thinking - ie there would be 2 payouts in quick succession for one person if there was one pressie now and another one in just a few weeks time. I don't think OP is being fair to expect two in such a short space of time.

It might help to think in terms of people who don't get married or have children have to spend year after year watching other people get "payouts" and they never get one - but they are always asked to put money towards other peoples "payouts".

mgdavid

singlestep wrote: »

...............

Other posters have identified why this might not have happened (yet) this time. On past experience with my own colleagues I'd imagine they are concerned and might appreciate a quick update via somebody the OP is close to.

but the OP said in post #4
"and a few people have messaged me to see how I am."

Presuming she has replied to the messages, the update has been provided and the office will know.

Mojisola

mgdavid wrote: »

but the OP said in post #4
"and a few people have messaged me to see how I am."

Presuming she has replied to the messages, the update has been provided and the office will know.

And if people are uncomfortable at sending a 'get well' card, there are plenty of lovely 'thinking of you' cards available.

Diamond_Orchid

I understand why you feel as you do. I think most people would feel the same in all fairness.

However the system itself is flawed. Some people will be off ill more than others, and how long are you meant to be off for in order to be deemed qualified to receive a card?

To be fair a card to wish you better would not hurt alongside some flowers or whatever your work do for when you leave.

A lot of people don't think you vcan be ill in pregnancy either as its natural :rotfl:

hieveryone

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

That was what I was thinking - ie there would be 2 payouts in quick succession for one person if there was one pressie now and another one in just a few weeks time. I don't think OP is being fair to expect two in such a short space of time.

It might help to think in terms of people who don't get married or have children have to spend year after year watching other people get "payouts" and they never get one - but they are always asked to put money towards other peoples "payouts".

As I've said before, the 'scheme' is there so that everyone is treated uniformly when there is an 'occasion'. So say someone relatively new has started to the staff team, and they were getting married - there might not be much money given in a whip round, but the float would be there to at least give flowers and a card.

Likewise, if someone has been working there for 50 years and retires, the float money is used for the card and flowers, but the whip round money would be used for the gift.

Hope that makes sense. I am in no way looking for a 'present' for being ill, that's ridiculous, but the rule in the workplace is that we all pay in for occasions like this i.e. illness/wedding/baby/marriage/leave etc etc.

Mojisola wrote: »

And if people are uncomfortable at sending a 'get well' card, there are plenty of lovely 'thinking of you' cards available.

This is true! As I've always said, it's not the material aspect of receiving anything at all, but the hurt that I seem to have been overlooked.

Diamond_Orchid wrote: »

I understand why you feel as you do. I think most people would feel the same in all fairness.

However the system itself is flawed. Some people will be off ill more than others, and how long are you meant to be off for in order to be deemed qualified to receive a card?

To be fair a card to wish you better would not hurt alongside some flowers or whatever your work do for when you leave.

A lot of people don't think you vcan be ill in pregnancy either as its natural :rotfl:

To be fair, we don't have a lot of staff illness (luckily!), and where it is the case that someone is off for a week with a cold etc, then it wouldn't be deemed necessary. However, when a longer term absence is underway (say 2 weeks or more), then a card/flowers is always sent.

The staff team know that it has been sent (i.e. to record where the money has been sent) as it gets written on the staff notice board - 'card and flowers sent to x on 19/09/2015' etc.

jobbingmusician

Yeah, I reckon jojo is right, and that's more or less what I was thinking too! (But she did put it well! )

duchy

hieveryone wrote: »

This is true! As I've always said, it's not the material aspect of receiving anything at all, but the hurt that I seem to have been overlooked.



.

In my mind you haven't "been overlooked" as people have sent you messages and are saving your "fund" for a baby present.

Goldiegirl

Perhaps they've changed the 'system' without telling you?


At the office I worked at, it was the custom for my team to buy a birthday present for each team member, (even when it wasn't a special birthday). I thought it was a bit excessive, but went along with it anyway.


One month, it was someone's birthday, and there was the normal collection, and a present was bought.


Next month it was my birthday, and they gave me a card, but no present. I honestly didn't care about not getting a present, but felt a bit disappointed that they didn't seem concerned about me.


Next month, it was someone else's birthday, and that person wasn't bought a present either. It was only then I realised that the system had changed and they had stopped giving presents on 'non special' birthdays.


As I was only part time, they forgot to tell me about this - even though my birthday was the first one to be affected!


Maybe they've had a rethink about when flowers etc are sent, but haven't had a chance to tell you