Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

calleyw

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Can i just say you look absolutely beautiful in that picture Calley And i'm sure you're still as amazing these years on. Its nice to put a face to the name

Thank you MU you are very kind.

No its good you are having a life. And swain sounds lovely. As pyxis says when are you going to clone him. As I could do with one :rotfl:

Glad you are happy and doing well.

Take lots of care of yourself.

Yours

Calley

System

Wellyboots6 wrote: »

I was always the opposite, I didn't want children as I felt I'd be a rubbish mum. It was only when I met Bearded One and he was so keen that I started considering it. Even now, we both don't want Escapette to be an only child but the thought of being pregnant again terrifies me.
I'm very much struggling with the emotional aspect of being a parent, which I hadn't even considered would be an issue.
Having the choice taken away from you must be so difficult, I really do feel for you x

I don;t know how to feel about kids. One the one hand i do want them, but i'm in no position right now to have them, so will have to wait a few years (Swain's agreed we can discuss it seriously once he's 30 as he really doesn't feel ready yet, and tbh nether do it). But then i have the nagging worry that my nan went through and early menopause at 34, and the fact that because i have bipolar i have a 50/50 chance of developing postnatal psychosis which scares the !!!! out of me and i could get very ill and would need a lot of support. I'm basically at this point in time sticking my head in the sand and trying not to think about scary adult decisions i'm going to have to make in the next few years

I know some people are childfree by choice but my heart goes out to those of you who aren't. I can;t begin to imagine hat its like to cope with.

codemonkey

Hugs WaS.

I need some defence against the dark arts. I have this funeral tomorrow and I'm horrible at funerals. Doesn't matter who it is, I walk into that room and I'm hit with a wall of sad from everyone and I start to cry. I sobbed at Mr CPs grandads funeral and I didn't even meet the dude. I don't want to be 'that' person. So how do I block the sad wall?

System

calleyw wrote: »

Thank you MU you are very kind.

No its good you are having a life. And swain sounds lovely. As pyxis says when are you going to clone him. As I could do with one :rotfl:

Glad you are happy and doing well.

Take lots of care of yourself.

Yours

Calley

I should warn you any clones may come with Swain's addiction to collecting soft toys. Seriously, he may be a 27 year old guy but i can tell you now that surrounding his bed are about a million various soft toys, bears, pigs, anime characters and other creatures (and fair few hello kitty's for good measure!) and that's not including the ones that are stored in the loft! And lego too!he has a bazillion lego sets. I;ve already told him when we get our own place e are going to need a room soley for soft toys! :rotfl:

(actually that could be a good thing, imagine a room just full of cuddley toys! If im ever down i'll just go in there and chill with them!)

How are you doing my lovely? I understand you saying you're not sure what the doctors could do with regards to how you're feeling. I feel the same. Tbh i feel its pointless seeing my GP as nothing ever happens. Last time i saw her she said she'd see me...in a years time!

System

codemonkey wrote: »

Hugs WaS.

I need some defence against the dark arts. I have this funeral tomorrow and I'm horrible at funerals. Doesn't matter who it is, I walk into that room and I'm hit with a wall of sad from everyone and I start to cry. I sobbed at Mr CPs grandads funeral and I didn't even meet the dude. I don't want to be 'that' person. So how do I block the sad wall?

Code i'm not sur how to block it out.

I remember at my grandads funeral i started crying the second the hearse pulled up to their house, and i didn't stop for the rest of the day. But weirdly with my nan, i don;t know, i somehow bottled it up. At the time i felt i had to be strong for my mum as she'd now lost both her parents. I guess i felt numb, which isn't the best feeling.

I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can, we'll be here of you need hugs and squishes

calleyw

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I should warn you any clones may come with Swain's addiction to collecting soft toys.

How are you doing my lovely? I understand you saying you're not sure what the doctors could do with regards to how you're feeling. I feel the same. Tbh i feel its pointless seeing my GP as nothing ever happens. Last time i saw her she said she'd see me...in a years time!

I think that is sweet. Is that not a bit spooky waking up in the middle of the night and have all those toys eyes looking at you :rotfl:

Today was a lot better. And an old friend got back in touch today as well. So its looking a bit better for the time being.

So just need to keep on the up.

Yours

Calley

System

calleyw wrote: »

I think that is sweet. Is that not a bit spooky waking up in the middle of the night and have all those toys eyes looking at you :rotfl:

Today was a lot better. And an old friend got back in touch today as well. So its looking a bit better for the time being.

So just need to keep on the up.

Yours

Calley

Nah they aren't too bad Plus i get my pick of who i get to have cuddles with every night! :rotfl:

Glad today was a better day for you, reconnecting with people can be great (says she whos agreed to a girls night out with my sisters and visiting them both, ones in london and the other is in liverpool)

faerielight

thanks Waves for saying that I'm strong, I guess I am, I've had a truckload of hardship and I am a fighter .. My best friend said something really sweet on the phone tonight.. She said I was a burning star , that I burnt bright, and that I was her hero It was such a meaningful thing to say, especially at the mo, when my mental health is so bad. I carry so little self esteem and so much self hatred, I'm going to try and remember her words, next time I beat myself up

jobbingmusician

code, why are you worried about crying? It's good to have someone at a funeral who can be an outlet for the collective grief and help other people to cope by letting it out! xxxxxxx

Flybaby

Code - hope funeral passes as these things should and you don't feel too bad.


Faerie -{{squish}}


I think I am with Calley on the baby front. My sister always said that I would one day feel "the cluck" as she called it, to have kids, but I never did. I find the general expectation that I should drop sprogs to be quite frustrating. Thankfully hubby feels the same way.........although he is getting a bit more contemplative and has asked who will look after us when we are old. I told him that was not a reason to have a kid. The only thing I have ever considered was adopting a child, around 7 or 8, who'd had a carp start in life and needed a good home. I liked the idea of a) not adding to the population problem and b) giving a kid who thought they were too old to be chosen that special chance. Unfortunately my husband was very against the idea saying that it would be too much to bring a troubled child into our home. But that feeling was more about wanting to give someone an opportunity rather than feeling clucky.