Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Pyxis

Serendipity! No pun intended. As we speak, on BBC The Big Questions is a talk about Buddhism!

(Just come from a Buddhist country, and want to find out more about it.)

Serendipity from Serendip!

jobbingmusician

Pyxis wrote: »

Another piece if music that does that to me is Adonai Ro'hi from the Chichester Psalms by Bernstein......

Completely agree about this one. Also Morgen (Strauss) and to a slightly lesser extent, the last of the 4 Last Songs. And the beginning of the Hansel and Gretel overture (this last maybe cos I've known it since I was tiny).

My most shaming moment was in an opera written by a friend of mine, setting The Selfish Giant (Oscar Wilde). The story always makes me well up, but with the music as well.....during the performance (in the round, of course, for max embarrassment) I completely lost it, with great racking sobs...........

Pyxis

((((((((((((((((((Jobbing musician)))))))))))))))))))))))

My fellow music-blubber! :cool:

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

It is really interesting seeing the different views on lying. Rationally, I can see the merit in everything ono and georgie have just posted, I really can.

But - I just can't see it that way myself. For me, there's no difference between "I won't admit to eating the last crème egg because it'll end up in an argument" and "I won't admit I slept with my ex because it'll end up in an argument".

The feeling that someone else is deciding what you do or don't get to find out, based on how easy it makes their life is a horrible one. My opinion is, if you respect someone you tell them the truth - regardless of whether that gets you into trouble. If you don't want an argument, don't do the thing that would cause an argument - don't just do it then lie about it.

I can fully see that my viewpoint possibly isn't the most rational! And, as I said, I do find the discussions really interesting. Am now worried that I'm offending people by talking about this!

Am catching up with the thread.........


This discussion was interesting. I agree with Tea. I feel it shows a lack of respect to lie about eating the last crème egg etc.
Why lie? It's like a naughty child. I'd have a lot more respect for someone who said, "Yes, I'm afraid I ate the last egg. I just couldn't resist it. I tried, really, but in the end I gave in and ate it. I'm sorry", than for someone who said they hadn't eaten it when there's only two of you in the house and you know it wasn't you!

And as Tea and others have said, if someone can lie that easily about daft little things, how much more likely are they going to be to lie about more significant things?

I think, though, that there's a difference between lying about eating an egg and 'lying' about saying they find you attractive large when they prefer you slim. That comes under the category of not wanting to hurt your feelings and self-esteem, rather than trying to get out of something they know will annoy you. Not wanting to hurt you comes under the term 'love' (:D), whereas trying to get out of something is, in my view, the opposite.

I say all this with kindness and understanding to those who hold the opposite view and is not meant to be judgemental, as I am talking generally and not about specific people. :A

On the other hand, I can see how, if by saying "Yes, I ate the last egg", it causes a blazing row, the 'lying one' feels it's better to do so to avoid the ructions. I, too, hate that sort of conflict, so can understand how that can happen.

So perhaps both sides need to take stock about how this cycle starts and perpetuates? Lord knows I'm no saint, and things like that would annoy me too......again, it shows a certain lack of respect to eat the last egg if you know your partner has been saving it and looking forward to it. This happening once or twice is inevitable, but if it persists, is it a sort of passive aggression?
If it kept happening to me, I'm sure I would see it as a blow, as a lack of respect, as a sign of a lack of love, even, and I know I would get angry, as I would feel rejected and disappointed that the OH thought so little of me.

Don't look to me for partnership guidance, (!) but if these scenarios are constantly being played out, it does suggest that something in the relationship needs mending, probably on both sides.

whitewing

pyxis,

Thank you for the film recommendation. I have it on my amazon wishlist.

tea_lover

Pyxis, how are you this lucid after a holiday and a flight?? I can't string a sentence together when I get a train back from bristol!

Georgiegirl256

Pyxis wrote: »

This discussion was interesting. I agree with Tea. I feel it shows a lack of respect to lie about eating the last crème egg etc.
Why lie? It's like a naughty child. I'd have a lot more respect for someone who said, "Yes, I'm afraid I ate the last egg. I just couldn't resist it. I tried, really, but in the end I gave in and ate it. I'm sorry", than for someone who said they hadn't eaten it when there's only two of you in the house and you know it wasn't you!

And as Tea and others have said, if someone can lie that easily about daft little things, how much more likely are they going to be to lie about more significant things?

I think, though, that there's a difference between lying about eating an egg and 'lying' about saying they find you attractive large when they prefer you slim. That comes under the category of not wanting to hurt your feelings and self-esteem, rather than trying to get out of something they know will annoy you. Not wanting to hurt you comes under the term 'love' (:D), whereas trying to get out of something is, in my view, the opposite..
.

The creme egg example probably wasn't a good one! As personally, it's not something I would lie about either, although I can see why people would if they thought it wasn't worth the hastle and nagging they would get if they told the truth. It was sort of like an example as to why someone might lie about still smoking. As in they didn't want to admit they've done wrong to their partner and failed both them and themselves.

I can totally see that if these little white lies are constant it could mean they are lying about bigger and much more serious things, and then that's when it becomes a problem.

I (and this is just my opinion, no offence to anyone ) would personally hate it and would lose respect for the person if they lied to me about how I looked. If I ask a question, I want a straight answer. I cannot see the point in lying even to spare someone's feelings (in the majority of cases....am sure here are times and places when it might be appropriate to do so), I wouldn't call that love, I would call that lying to save their own skin and not wanting to cause an argument. If I asked D if I was looking rough and I was and he lied, then I'd lose abit of respect for him that he didn't even have the balls to tell me so. (Unless he really didn't think so and I'm always beautiful in his eyes of course! )

Probably not explaining myself well here, but it think if you don't want to hear the truth, then don't ask the question. Just mho.

D just comes out with stuff like "OMG, look at your dark circles today!" And "look at that big spot on your face!" or the classic "Jesus your !!!! will need it's own postcode soon!" I just told him he needs a haircut and he looks like Danny Baker when it gets too long and unruly! :rotfl:

Edit: I agree, it's really interesting hearing everyone's different views on the subject!

Flybaby

lmao - never realty thought about it before, but I guess my hubby is blatanly honest about how I look - I like it though, coz I know if he says I look nice, that I actually do!


Ok - so sorbets were technically granitas - but simple as - make your favourite drink - tip it into a baking tray so the liquid is only a few millimetres thick and freeze - take out - scrape it up wit spoon and eat.
Both hubby and I had good fun at the cooking course, which I am pleased about as I often do stuff like that and hubby never has, so think he was a bit nervous. We both now know how to fillet fish properly and I was gobsmacked that, despite it being a fishy course - there was not a single whiff of fish - as I hate the smell. Goes to show that proper fresh fish really does not smell. And useful tip, if you are buying fish from a fishmongers - ask for grade 1 fish - it is the best quality and means it will be only one or two days old, obviously more expensive though A most interesting way to spend a sunday morning.
{{squishes}} to refill the squish cupboard

Pyxis

Flybaby wrote: »

( He has never found the emergency fruit and nut that is taped to one of the rafters in the loft with duck tape - I kid you not - it's been there about three years I think!)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:



Edit. Tea, it was a well-timed flight. Left at 12.50 lunchtime Sri Lankan time, (7.20 am UK), and arrived home about 10pm UK, which was about 3.30 am Sri Lankan. So it wasn't very different from going out for a wild night (what are they? I've forgotten!) and getting back at 3.30am. So I had a reasonable night's sleep when I got to bed at home. Plus I'm spending the day relaxing!
(The journey out was very different, despite having a lie-flat seat!)

tea_lover

Police baby on his way round....for some reason I've just gone incredibly nervous. Getting bored of statements now!