Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

mellymoo74

Grinch boy is being verrry loving.
Solemn eye and nose kisses, tucking under my chin and full on proper cuddles. This is amazing cos he's his daddy's boy and tolerates me.
Froo always loves me but she's trying to get a hold of her jealousy and sharing (she does need big on her own loves at least once a day and smears all over cos I smell wrong lol)

Tomcat bit my nose this morning after attacking my hair (he's discover his inner kitten since moving in here)

I will be okay I always am. Just a bit tired and having a wallow.

Waves_and_Smiles

Nothing wrong with having a wallow, Melly. You can wallow here anytime you like. I do enough of it myself. It really warms my heart how well Tomcat has settled in with you, he is so different from the cat you used to describe before he lived with you. He clearly knows he is loved and has a home for life now, its adorable how much he has relaxed and become his real self.

mellymoo74

He doesn't even look the same WaS.
Evil aunty used to beat him and stuff I think.

Yesterday morning he wouldn't go to bed till I had brushed him kissed him and told him he was handsome.

He's out whilst it's dry beating up other cats at the minute.

Don't like to wallow it doesn't fix stuff. I just need my brain to rest so I can get focused on what I need to do for the interview I think.

heartbreak_star

I think we all need a wallow now and again Melly. I'm certainly doing it at the moment.

I've booked Friday off simply to cry and sleep.

Tea, the jobsearch is not going well at all. Keep getting very polite rejections.

I'm convinced it's because I'm fat and old and stupid. Keep wanting to go back to purging meals and snacks but determined not to.

Also, another of my friends is now engaged. OH is showing no moves despite us apparently being in it for the long haul.

(TMI warning!)

He's also not making many moves in "that" way, so I'm convinced I'm unattractive as well. My instinct is to go out and flirt to prove otherwise, but I value this relationship and wish to keep it intact. How on earth do I talk to him about this? Or do I just wait it out as he's stressed himself?

*wail*

EDIT: Sorry everyone. I realise how ridiculous and first-world-problem that all sounds.

HBS x

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, poor Tomcat! He hasn't has a very nice life but he's certainly fallen on his feet now with you! I bet it makes up for all the times he felt unloved, you have a really happy cat now!

I agree with you, Melly. You need a bit of time just to let your brain relax from trying to sort everything out so that you can focus on what you need to as a priority. You have so many different scenario's coming at you from all angles that you must feel totally overwhelmed by it all. Try to grab an hour here and there just to let your mind drift even if that's putting headphones on and blasting music until you can't think of anything else. Even Superwoman needs a break.

It doesn't sound ridiculous at all, HBS. Have a hug. Maybe make a time to talk to OH and approach it by talking about how stressed you both you are and take it from there? I know WaSp shuts himself away internally when stressed, he becomes distant from everyone including me until he can get a handle things. Then days later he will tell me what is wrong. It is his coping strategy although it can make me feel very unwanted even though it has happened many times before.

You are lovely, intelligent, funny and gorgeous and I say so, so it must be true!

tea_lover

He sounds lovely melly

I spend most of the time I'm in the house telling P cat how handsome he is :rotfl:, he agrees!

HBS.... *puts stern face on* you are not old, fat or stupid! I'd tell you to think of at least one positive thing to say about yourself but I'm not sure I'm as authoritative as code! .

Have nothing useful to suggest re er.... womanly wiles and the like. That was one of the (many, many - so don't panic lol) problems for us and I can really appreciate how it chips away at you. It doesn't help that the media gives us this impression that men are always up for it and the slightest hint of them not being bothered is a clear sign that there's something wrong with the woman involved. When actually men are (of course!) just as susceptible to those days/weeks/months of general 'meh' with life... just as likely to be tired, run down, stressing at work, etc.

Edit re. your edit! Please don't apologise! It's perfectly valid to feel low/annoyed (think of word of your choice here) about issues in your relationship, and it's more than valid (if that's a thing) to talk about them here.

heartbreak_star

Thanks peeps. I just know you guys are going through a lot worse than me, and it's so unlike me to be this low.

I don't want to pour my problems onto OH at the moment so will try and keep my inner poise until he's a bit more settled. I can't even talk to my mum as she'll just tell me to pull my socks up and that's she's got it worse ("whatever "it" might be").

HBS x

Waves_and_Smiles

That's what we are here for, HBS! We will always listen to you. I used to tell my therapy clients it doesn't matter to me if you are upset because your cat is ill or if your home is being repossessed, it is the fact that feelings are there and hurting you that is important. Problems aren't comparable in severity, we all have different things that cause us pain and none are more valid than the other.

heartbreak_star

Thank you WaS

Reading Bridget Jones isn't helping. Who can eat 2000-4000cals A DAY and stay under 10st? Pah!

HBS x

tea_lover

Nobody. Well, maybe Paula Radcliffe. Don't know about you, but I don't have time for a marathon-length run every day.