Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tea_lover

Just had an interesting experience. FOH's been working at a neighbour's house today (arranged a while ago, and the police called and checked I was ok with it). Saw his vehicle arrive this morning then I went out, by the time I got back he'd left. I know these people to say hello to (as did FOH) - we might have a 2 min chat in the street, or look after parcels, etc. But I wouldn't say they're friends, we've never socialised or ever been in each others' houses.

Mrs neighbour came round a while ago and asked if she could have a word. Said FOH had asked her to speak to me! :eek: She agreed as she felt sorry for him (apparently he was upset at their house, and started telling them what a massive mistake he'd made etc - these people are basically strangers!). She said as soon as she came round she felt bad but he begged her to speak to me and then text him to say how it went.

Funnily enough he didn't mention the police involvement, the ongoing harrassment, the cheating, the lies, etc. We actually ended up having a lovely chat (her first husband sounds v similar!) and she left saying she was going to text him to p off :rotfl: The version of events he told her was a complete re-write of history - not to mention totally inappropriate! I'm astounded that he would put her in that position. She kept apologising but I said not to - I know how "charming" he can be, and it was kind of lovely of her to try.

But seriously....grr!!! :mad::mad: I'm not going to call the police (again), but part of me would like to make them aware of this. Not least because he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong in how he's behaved today. He's got an official taped interview later this week, is it wrong that I'd like the police to know about this before that takes place?

codemonkey

I think you need to inform them tea as clearly he's not getting the message. Harassing you by proxy is still harassing you.

Georgiegirl256

I think you should tell the police about it tea. I think they definitely need to know about it.

I really feel for you tea. I feel on edge just reading these things, so god knows how you feel. His actions are just getting more and more desperate, and I'm worried what he might do next.

codemonkey

Also torry, glad you're avoiding the floods.

tea_lover

I'm losing all sense of what's normal behaviour and what isn't.

pollyanna_26

Tea I would let the police know any of these events as they occur . They are able to build up a full picture and he is basically shooting himself in the foot by these actions .
Many years ago I had to deal with an abusive husband in those days police were very restricted in what they could do and it was a long hard fight to get a legal injunction with full power of arrest .
After decades of campaigning the laws are now there to protect people from everything from harrasment controlling behaviour to full scale physical abuse . Please use them they were hard won .
polly x

codemonkey

tea_lover wrote: »

I'm losing all sense of what's normal behaviour and what isn't.

What you're doing: normal
Following you, hanging out outside your house, banging the door, using his mum to guilt you into taking him back, sending your neighbour round: so far from normal it's scary.

Take a look at this page. There's a checklist on there and although he's not done everything on the list, at least I hope he hasn't, it explains why what he has done is stalking.

Flybaby

tea - sorry honey, but the others are all correct - you need to inform the police of this latest tactic and attempt to contact you..........it is getting too scary. Big hugs xxx

Torry_Quine

I agree that Tea needs to tell the police.

Waves_and_Smiles

I agree with everyone else, tea. That isn't normal behaviour and the police should know about it, it's still harassment. I am glad your neighbour was so lovely and understands now.

Sending hugs, blankies and boxes of tissues to all of our poorlies! WaSp feels awful too, I am keeping my distance.

I have some very lose resolutions, namely to get out at least once every 2 months to something special, not to end up back in A&E when my ESA forms that are due anytime turn up and to spend 20 minutes a day colouring my calendar.

Someone sent me a lovely calendar with a picture to colour for every day of the year. I am going to sit peacefully and just colour daily, I find it really calms me. I also have two lovely books to colour, too.

Three years ago when the ESA form turned up it made me very unwell, very quickly. It turned out I had nothing to worry about and didn't even have an assessment, they had so much evidence about me going back to my childhood that it was enough. But, still I ended up in hospital hallucinating everywhere as a danger to myself and I really need to avoid that this time. I am taking deep breaths.

Weirdly, the above also upsets me if I am given ESA. I then tend to feel utterly useless to society because I am officially incapable too so that can also make me ill (thus proving that I need the ESA, it's a cycle). The start of the year will be a challenge.

As for the trips out WaS needs to see animals! I am going to save the money that I would pay towards council tax and water rates during the break and use that, as long as my ESA isn't stopped of course. I shall wait until spending anything but hopefully that will be fun!