📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

13043053073093101002

Comments

  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,168 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Ah, you're right. It just annoys me immensely when hospital ignore the legalities in favour of misleading people instead.

    Gitdog isn't talking to me at the moment. I turned the heating down lower than he appreciates so he's pretending he's got hypothermia and is complaining. This takes the form of repeatedly bashing the coal scuttle lid with his nose. I've been clanged at for the last half an hour.

    I made a cake yesterday for naughty dog club. It didn't rise properly so I've had no option but to eat it all myself. With a slice for JM, with a candle on, obviously. :D
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    elsien,

    'We never had depression in my day' - despite the fact that they used to call one of the locals Crackpot Charlie (not the real Christian name)

    I used to hear that all the time.

    'We just got on with things'

    'He has rages' (actually he probably had PTSD)

    'He's not all there'

    'She's cuckoo' but cuckoo wasn't an mh issue - it was because you were 'one of them families'.

    But then again, you never washed your dirty linen in public so people never talked about anything out of the social norm. You did your Christian duty though. Which seemed to involve looking down on unfortunates as you 'helped' them - kind hearts but cruel attitudes.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • Elsien, I do think it is pretty much the case that there was little knowledge of mental health years ago and it was generally something to be ashamed of. Of course there are always exceptions to that. My mother now would have been in her early 80's and despite being mentally ill herself would not discuss it or call it what it was. She would have 'funny turns', that was all the family ever called them and referred to them in hushed tones and very rarely. Anyone with mental illness would be whispered to be having an attack of the nerves, sadly that was usually used as a term with women only, male mental illness didn't seem to be recognised at all. There was certainly no understanding of psychosis despite my mother being psychotic most of the time, just funny turns that were never mentioned again. There was an awful lot of embarrassment and misunderstanding around mental illness in my family, you just didn't discuss it and our neighbours seemed to have similar attitude should it occur in their families, there was very little information available for people to learn from. .As I said, there were exceptions like my dad who would try to explain to me that something was wrong with my mother's brain, but he had been training as a doctor before my mother became too ill for him to continue so had a broader view.

    How do your family know that ER cannot leave hospital? Is it just ER's interpretation? Have they spoken to her consultant? I wouldn't judge it too harshly yet until you are positive that you know what was said and how it was phrased. I have been told on occasion that I can't leave hospital yet (and they were correct in my case), but they didn't mean we are forcing you to stay, they meant this would be a very bad idea and you can't go home yet without losing the plot again. There have also been times when I have been told I cannot leave until WaSp is there to pick me up and take me into his care, again if I wanted to leave they couldn't have stopped me without a section but it was a way of saying you aren't safe to be alone and we may section you if we have to rather than send you home alone for your own sake. Humans do not always phrase things correctly on either side, do check that ER isn't taking very strong advice to stay in hospital as being forced to stay.

    Of course, it is possible that they are retaining her unfairly and illegally but hear it from a consultant first and then work from there. Do ask about the care concerns, too. It is important that, that is chased up. Try to distract yourself tonight though, deal with it tomorrow.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • Waves_and_Smiles
    Waves_and_Smiles Posts: 5,263 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 23 November 2015 at 9:53PM
    Elsien, I do think it is pretty much the case that there was little knowledge of mental health years ago and it was generally something to be ashamed of which still exists in elderly generations today. Of course there are always exceptions to that. My mother now would have been in her early 80's and despite being mentally ill herself would not discuss it or call it what it was. She would have 'funny turns', that was all the family ever called them and referred to them in hushed tones and very rarely. Anyone with mental illness would be whispered to be having an attack of the nerves, sadly that was usually used as a term with women only, male mental illness didn't seem to be recognised at all. There was certainly no understanding of psychosis despite my mother being psychotic most of the time, just funny turns that were never mentioned again. There was an awful lot of embarrassment and misunderstanding around mental illness in my family, you just didn't discuss it and our neighbours seemed to have similar attitude should it occur in their families, there was very little information available for people to learn from. .As I said, there were exceptions like my dad who would try to explain to me that something was wrong with my mother's brain, but he had been training as a doctor before my mother became too ill for him to continue so had a broader view.

    How do your family know that ER cannot leave hospital? Is it ER's interpretation only? Have they spoken to her consultant? I wouldn't judge it too harshly yet until you are positive that you know what was said and how it was phrased. I have been told on occasion that I can't leave hospital yet (and they were correct in my case), but they didn't mean we are forcing you to stay, they meant this would be a very bad idea and you can't go home yet without losing the plot again. There have also been times when I have been told I cannot leave until WaSp is there to pick me up and take me into his care, again if I wanted to leave they couldn't have stopped me without a section but it was a way of saying you aren't safe to be alone and we may section you if we have to rather than send you home alone for your own sake. Humans do not always phrase things correctly on either side, do check that ER isn't taking very strong advice to stay in hospital as being forced to stay.

    Of course, it is possible that they are retaining her unfairly and illegally but hear it from a consultant first and then work from there. By all means go in all guns blazing if that is happening, that isn't acceptable at all. Do also ask about the care concerns, too. It is important that, that is chased up. Try to distract yourself tonight though, deal with it tomorrow.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • elsien wrote: »
    I've just had a couple of hours of parent stressing about ER in hospital.
    Parent tells me ER is receiving poor day to day care, is there "voluntarily" but ER has been told they're not free to leave although there doesn't appear to be a DOLS applied for/in place. So apparently being detained illegally. We now have a long list of issues to query first thing in the morning and my head is spinning.

    I suspect that your spinnage will have nothing on the way THEIR heads will spin when you unleash your DoLS knowledge on them! :D

    PS Thank you for the cake with candle :beer: No, nothing special planned for tonight. I got home to the most ENORMOUS bunch of flowers, though, and a big hug and kiss, and got a lovely card from Mr JM this morning as well :heart:
    Ex board guide. Signature now changed (if you know, you know).
  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I love flowers.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    The regular repost.....
    Pyxis wrote: »
    (The thread etiquette will be reposted every ten or so pages.)
    ........:starmod:......................................................................:starmod:.....................
    Here is the suggested THREAD ETIQUETTE. By following this etiquette, all posters, whether new or existing, will feel safe, unpressured and respected..

    !!!But first...............please be assured..................................................................******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. (See below about penguins). In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******


    - This is a thread for support. We have discovered some good friends on here, but we promise always to welcome and include new people, and not to be cliquey.

    - People may make suggestions to help each other, and might even ask if the suggestions were helpful or have been carried out, but we'll really try not to nag each other or put too much pressure on.

    - The normal board rules about sexism, racism, homophobia etc. apply, but if we are careful we should be able to discuss almost anything without breaching board rules - so far we have discussed subjects ranging from child abuse to incontinence!

    -If someone thinks that too much pressure is being applied, they can post the trigger word PENGUIN and flag up the fact that they believe there's a potential for someone feeling too nagged to do something. ANYONE could post PENGUIN if they felt there was a danger that suggestions were being enforced too much.

    Similarly, if they want to discuss something that might be a trigger for some people, then posting PENGUIN would be a warning that what follows in the whiteout might be a trigger.



    - So, if you think something might be a PENGUIN, please post something like the green bit which follows.

    "Possible penguin about.........(type of trigger)" The trigger might be:- child abuse, marital abuse/violence, paranoia, stalkers, death, etc.

    Then, when you post, repost the word PENGUIN above the discussion. Then post the penguiny bit in white! And the phrase END OF PENGUIN when you have finished.

    It will look like this. You will be able to see the white text if you highlight it or if you quote it, (so please don't 'quote' a post containing a penguin onto the thread!)
    (Harmless example follows here):-
    PENGUIN

    This is a penguin. A nasty, crotch biting penguin (CBP).
    It isn't really! So you can look
    . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozGTv0hxhpc[/url]


    END OF PENGUIN

    (NB on a tenth-page repost of the etiquette, you can see these penguiny words because they are white against the green 'quote' background. On a normal post, they will be white against white, and so won't be seen on the thread.)

    IMPORTANT: It has been ascertained that some posters to this thread have found that there are certain subjects which act as triggers, precipitating a worsening of their condition.
    To protect these posters, you are respectfully requested NOT to discuss these subjects on this thread:-

    Religion. (Please note: it is recognised that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and we respect those beliefs. It is only because of the fact that religion does act as a trigger for some posters, that we exclude it from discussion.)
    N.B. Please don't even mention the name of the religion.

    The afterlife. The reason for this is explained in this thread by one poster, and there will be others for whom this is a trigger.

    We ask and thank you for your co-operation in this matter.


    .........:starmod:.....................................................................:starmod:................

    !!!So, to reiterate..............******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******

    - More suggestions please.............We stress that we are suggesting that we AGREE some Thread Etiquette to HELP people who might feel anxious about posting, we are not trying to IMPOSE rules, just relating this to facilitating groups, so that people feel safe and able to participate as fully as they can.

    ...............Thread Motto...............
    Nos Omnes Ad Audiendum Parumper
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Check out these cute robins

    http://thepigeonsnest.bigcartel.com/products

    This link came from another thread on MSE about making your own advent calendar.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • I wish I could crochet!

    Currently lying in bed with Guns n Roses album on repeat as iits the only thing that has stopped Escapette screaming all evening. Really want to sleep, but the minute I turn it off or even down, she wakes up and starts again.

    Counselling booked for Friday. Hoping it will help me prepare for going back to work
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.3K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 244.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 599.4K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.1K Life & Family
  • 257.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.