Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Wellyboots6

Morning all!

Just wrote a long rant which got deleted before I posted it, probably for the best really! Think the counselling assessment yesterday triggered some stuff, and then had a message from a family member this morning which made me hit the roof. Almost another hulk moment but kept it together!

I feel so guilty for disliking family so much, but then I think that a lot of the behaviour I dislike I wouldn't accept in a friend so maybe it doesn't make me such a horrible person to dislike them?

Just need to make sure baby grows up avoiding a lot of the rubbish and gets positive influences from hubbys side.

Pyxis

Katy, for a long time now, I made the decision not to accept dreadful behaviour from people just because they are 'family'. :A

Birdie85

Great win Calley! :T

WaS, what a wonderful gesture from your old neighbour! Looking forward to hearing about your gifts! They sound like a really lovely community and it's great to know that in any time of crisis they would be there for you (or anyone!).

Hugs for having a bad day MU, but what a lovely BF Swain is!

Welly, unfortunately you can't choose your family, but you can choose your reaction to their behaviour! I'm sure Escapee will grow up surrounded by love and positive influences because you are their Mummy and you're wonderful!

I'm so glad it's Friday! Looking forward to 2 days off, don't even know what I'm going to do but at least I won't be at work!

jobbingmusician

Awww, MU, swain does sound lovely. And there's a lesson there for me, as I sometimes feel a bit annoyed along the lines of 'how DARE you be so depressed, Mr JM, when you have me in your life and I love you so much.' Or alternatively get depressed myself cos I blame myself, or because I can't do anything to help!!! Sounds like swain has got it really right by standing back and just being supportive

heartbreak_star

Awww WaS, reading about your neighbour's gesture really made me smile! What a nice young man!

And speaking of nice young men, he's definitely a keeper MU

HBS x

Wellyboots6

Birdie85 wrote: »

Welly, unfortunately you can't choose your family, but you can choose your reaction to their behaviour!

That is a good point Birdie, I just get a bit stuck with knowing how to react! It's not necessarily bad behaviour, more very negative attitudes and values which grind you down over a period of time.

I've felt a lot less anxious recently by distancing myself a bit, but I know that isn't going to be sustainable once escapee arrives. Although I suspect their interest will only be short lived so hopefully it will be manageable.

Is keeping my distance a reasonable reaction? Should I be trying to address issues? Trouble is, when it gets noticed that I am keeping my distance it makes things worse as I get moaned at for cutting myself off and being uncommunicative. I get blamed for reacting badly, which then makes me feel worse!

Sorry, a rant snook in there!

Flybaby

Welly - I think you phrased it very well earlier - you expect your family, who are supposed to love and care for you, to treat you better than others, not worse.


Our society has a fixation with family and blood relations and it is very frowned upon to not have contact with family - however I am a big supporter of this. If a person enhances your life, great, if they don't, do not feel bound to them through blood alone.


I am off to in laws for the weekend with loads of family there and I am anxious about it as there will be many comments and negative vibes and people thinking they are "being funny" when they are just being insulting - but I would never cut these people out of my life as they are good people and do actually sometimes bring pleasure. I have started being a lot more honest with them and saying when I find comments out of order which they are finding hard I know, but these are relationships and people worth having. Members of my own family on the other hand.......... I have not had contact with for many years as they are destructive and unpleasant people.


Do not feel anything but proud of yourself if you have the strength to stand up to unpleasant people and set boundaries and guidelines in your relationships. If people can not adhere to basic politeness and are so bound up in trying to control you or express their opinion, no matter the consequences, tell them that you do not agree with the way they treat people and don't want to be a part of it. Family are supposed to love and protect you more than the rest of the world - not make you stressed, worried, anxious and fearful. And you most certainly have the right to control the environment in which escapee grows up. Nuff said. Sorry if my opinions on this are too strong for some people.


hugs to all

Pyxis

Brilliantly put, Flybaby. :A

calleyw

Morning my Lovelies,

Agree with Flybaby.

Anyway cleaned the the kitchen, put a load of washing on, washed down a door and washed some paint work ready to be sanded and glossed and made the bed.

But now feel really queasy. Not sure if the antibiotics. Have to take them with food and need to take them 4 times a day and spaced intervals

Going to put the washing on the line and see how I feel in a little while.

Yours

Calley

Wellyboots6

Thanks everyone, wobble averted

Make sure you schedule in time for a cup of tea too Calley, you sound very productive!

I have an awful reaction to antibiotics. I usually find dairy makes me feel more sick with them, so maybe have some sandwiches or crisps or something quite bland.