what to do 2nd date

catoutthebag

The above to posts I quoted made me laugh.
One with 'very little ' 20 years experience
And then aunt Agatha speaking for 3 billion females
I've learned to weed out the toilet crap advice in this sub forum to the genuine reality. Above 2 fall into the former (sorry but once you read my argument above you have to laugh.....at yourselves! ):rotfl:

Anyway got the advice I needed so won't be checking back ...thanks for the decent suggestions provided by others.

The 2 above : think (logically ) before you type...or have a break from forums

System

as I've become a bit apathetic with it in recent times.

Your words not mine.... More apathetic than you realize.:D

missbiggles1

catoutthebag wrote: »

Since I gave you my reason after the sentence you highlighted and info provided in the first post (her being more reserved).
You're '20 years' experience seems to have excluded common sense and that one size doesn't fit all.
I am guessing you're approaching middle age? Online and other dating such as speed dating have changed and so has etiquette.
We spent one and a half hours together. That's all. We're not going out or anything.
Calls come after dates 3/4

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Well hello Miss Manners!

System

Am i the only 1 who wants to know what his hilarious jokes were? That way we can gauge the type of woman he dated

Lunar_Eclipse

There is an aged based cultural element to the text vs call comments.

My 15 year old would message. Sometimes involving copious amounts of messages when clearly picking up the phone would be quicker. But no, that just wouldn't be 'right'.

The 20's are a period where anything goes: enormous developments in interpersonal skills can occur during this decade. By 30, I think talking becomes more common. And by 35/40, most would probably expect a phone call. ;-)

Ozzuk

I think Lunar is spot on.

I'm confused why you are highlighting people that generalise when you then go on to say "Online and other dating such as speed dating have changed and so has etiquette" which means are you referring to a general set of 'rules'.

You also then go onto say date 3/4 is calling. By date 3/4 the common rule is more making breakfast than just calling

You ask for advice then say people are wrong because of the situation and you know best - why ask for advice then?

Anyway...my advice if she is shy then do something activity based, she will be more able to relax. Second date meals are common but can add pressure to talk. And as for if you should ask her...do you want to see her again? You're game playing already, does it really matter who contacts who? If you want to see her again, ask her. Call/text/write a letter doesn't really matter.

Sometimes we can make the simplest things difficult. Think less do more.

duchy

So if you are "laid back" (translation -not too bothered either way) you text. If you like her and really want to spend more time with her you call and have a conversation.

Appearing keen to see someone again isn't a weakness......and what's the worst that can happen if you appear interested in getting to know her better ?

Frankly you keep dithering she'll have moved on before you even get around to contacting her.

Rummer

Going to the zoo would be a great date. Loads to talk about and to see plus it is always easier to talk while you are walking. I would make a call instead of texting if arranging a date as it much easier to sort the details in a chat than through numerous texts.

dating_thoughts

What to do after the first date, that's always a difficult one. I think what you're suggesting about a cafe or something like that is nice as its a bit more casual and less pressure. This might help you to both relax, your girl to be more confident and perhaps yourself to be more relaxed. I always think a nice walk in the countryside is good as there's less pressure to have a constant conversation (less awkward silences) and then perhaps end the walk for a meal in a nice pub or restaurant! In case it's also of help to you in the past this article http://www.datingallhours.com/after-the-first-date.aspx has been a help for me and given me a bit of advice and pointers. Good luck with it!

catoutthebag wrote: »

After some of my woes, I met a nice girl this weekend. We seemed to click and there was some attraction I felt. The time went quickly. She even laughed at my hilarious jokes.

Only thing is - I think she's a little less forward or assertive than me. I wasn't sure how she felt after. But I did say if she wanted to meet again then that would be good. I wasn't expected to gear back. But heard back about her day etc.

I was the one that asked her for a drink. Normally it's the other way round as I've become a bit apathetic with it in recent times.

But in order to see if there's more spark it would be good to meet again ...question is, should I ask again or wait for her this time? And go for a pub/bar instead of caf!? Or to eat somewhere casual? I know we may decide this, but pointers welcome. ..or something more outdoorsy?

Thankd in advance

benjus

What to do on a second date? You mean to say you got through all of the Karma Sutra on the 1st date?

I am suitably impressed. *twirls mustache*