Things you dont say to a woman?

Mr_Toad

Spinkz wrote: »

I thought i would be helpful for once and help out the singletons who post about online dating here by getting everyone to share things you dont say to a woman! I cant share my secrets on things to say to a woman, as a true master never reveals his secrets

Earlier today i was shopping with wifey for a new dress she needs for our friends wedding. She came out of the dressing room in the dress and asked me how she looked and i told her she looked cheap the despair stare she gave me was frightening! Since then she's been having little digs asking if i think she always looks cheap. What i meant to say was the dress looked cheap!!

So yeah... Dont say to a woman she looks cheap

This is a no win situation, you should never go shopping with a wife or girlfriend.

Note to self: Take your own advice.

If you find yourself in this situation then lie, telling the truth in these situations is like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun! You should also know that lying is no guarantee you'll get out alive, as I said, it's a no win situation!

Something like "I'm don't think that dress, or whatever, suits you", however well meant, will be heard as "Bl**dy hell it just highlights the fact that your bum is in two different postcodes" and you're going to suffer in a million different ways.

I speak from experience and there's no logic in any of this because the woman in question who heard the above is a size 8 to 10. In what universe can a size 8 to 10 woman possibly think she has a huge bum?

Trying to talk your way out is a waste of time, you might as well be using a JCB, so stop digging.

Note to self: Take your own advice.

And don't think giving the same "You look lovely" answer every time will help, it's as fraught with disaster as any other!

Even if you mean it and she does look lovely you don't win, you will no doubt get the response "You don't mean that you're just saying it so you can go home"

Note to self: Take your own advice.

if you ever hear the words "We'll go to town, I need a new <insert items here>" you might as well save yourself endless suffering and just stab yourself in the head with a fork.

Note to self: Take your own advice.


For years I had the perfect get out, I was on call, and all I had to do was find a phone and call work who would then wait half an hour and page me :A

With the advent of mobile phones we all had an innocuous distress phrase we could text to the duty officer who would then call whoever sent it to rescue us.

Happily the current girlfriend prefers to shop alone for clothes leaving me to my own devices. That said she doesn't like me shopping for clothes alone, I apparently need a responsible adult.

Lily-Rose_3

What not to say to a woman...?

To a single woman: 'not got a fella yet?' 'Are ya courting?' 'Still on the shelf?'

To a childfree woman: 'you'll have to have a child or you'll be lonely when you're old!' Or the ever popular one to a childfree woman 'bit selfish of you innit?!'

To a woman with one child: 'you will have to have another child, you don't want little Johnny/Jenny being lonely.'

To a stay at home mum; 'what do you do all day? Watch Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women haha?'

To a woman who has gained weight: 'Put weight on haven't you?!' (Don't be a moron; she already knows this, she feels horrible enough about it as it is, and she DOESN'T need it pointing out!)

To ANY woman: 'you look BETTER without make up!; (One of my all time pet hates that one. NOBODY, but NOBODY looks better without make up! NOBODY! Yes, some women look fine without it, some look good without it, but nobody looks better without it.)

They just don't.

Oh and yes, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Wait for her to volunteer the information!!!

spaceboy

Actually many women often do look better without make-up. Especially if they tend to use too much.

Indie_Kid

Try to guess their age. Someone who I was dating did this to me. He thought I was older than I was.

System

I stood at the school gate, the day after my youngest son was born waiting for the kids to come out of school.

"Havent you had that baby yet?" Someone asked.

"Yes i had him yesterday!" i responded.:o

I was pretty despondent cause my belly went down straight away after giving birth to the other kids but it just didnt snap back when i had the last.

Lily-Rose_3

spaceboy wrote: »

Actually many women often do look better without make-up. Especially if they tend to use too much.

No they don't.

Are you male? I am guessing so, as it's ALWAYS men who say this. :rotfl:

I will tell you when women look better; they look better when they don't take orders from any MAN on how to dress, how much make up they should wear, or how they present themselves. The more a man told me to wear less make up, the more make up I would trowel on.

spaceboy

Lily-Rose wrote: »

No they don't.

Are you male? I am guessing so, as it's ALWAYS men who say this. :rotfl:

I will tell you when women look better; they look better when they don't take orders from any MAN on how to dress, how much make up they should wear, or how they present themselves. The more a man told me to wear less make up, the more make up I would trowel on.

And the worse you would look.

System

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Try to guess their age. Someone who I was dating did this to me. He thought I was older than I was.

I'd say you are about 36

System

spaceboy wrote: »

And the worse you would look.

Haha! I dont think Lily is the type of woman you want to mess with mate, she seems strong! I agree with everything she says, women do look better with make up on and nobody looks better without it!

Georgiegirl256

Lily-Rose wrote: »

To ANY woman: 'you look BETTER without make up!; (One of my all time pet hates that one. NOBODY, but NOBODY looks better without make up! NOBODY! Yes, some women look fine without it, some look good without it, but nobody looks better without it.)

They just don't.
!!!

You say the above like it is a proven fact. Make up hides a multitude of sins, and a high majority of women look better with, but also, quite a few look better without, much better without. When you see someone's natural beauty and glowing skin shining through, that can look a lot better and healthier than a face full of foundation and eyeliner half an inch thick.