Wedding gift for niece - how much to spend

74jax

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Yes, and just in case the OP doesn't realise, I believe you do have a far higher income than she does, which puts that in context.

Totally. Mine isn't 'far higher' at all, it is higher about 800 per month, I was just meaning £50 to me sounds reasonable. Definitely not 250 at all, which is what I think we all agree on.

onlyroz

What you give has nothing to do with your other relatives. I gave my brother £50 and I thought that was plenty.

sparkiemalarkie

onlyroz wrote: »

What you give has nothing to do with your other relatives.

You are so right!
I'm sure that my niece will be far too polite to make her wedding gifts public knowledge.


This is all of my own making!
I should never have asked my brothers advice about the amount of money to give. However, having done so, I should have taken his ridiculous reply with a pinch of salt.


I am very anxious about the visit- I think I'm still feeling a bit of resentment towards my sister from when we fell out.....


sparkie

Readytobefree

This is such a dilemma isn't it? I have been to a number of weddings that have cost me lots of money as they have been in places such a s Scotland and as far as Tobago. I was a single parent at the time and if I am completely honest they got a gift of around £10,purely because they had emptied my bank accounts with logistics.
A recent wedding we went to I again gave them £10 because I had made the wedding cake at minimal cost to them, (£45 for 3 tiers and a cutting cake feeding over 150 ppl), and the £10 was a token gesture.
But I feel £50 is more than generous. I get married next year and there is no way I would expect or not even want anyone to feel they have to be so generous. I am just going to be happy if they turn up. Surely this is what your niece would want too?
Good luck, I hope you have a lovely time regardless of all the politics. X

Mojisola

sparkiemalarkie wrote: »

My brother suggested the £250+ ( at least £250 for a family of 4 were the exact words ) He is very wealthy

My initial thoughts for a gift was £100 but after 'the conversation' felt that I should at least increase it to £150. I have managed to get £93 from selling some things so I don't have much more to find. However , I need to match the amount in October...

sparkiemalarkie wrote: »

(This equates to 2 weeks income for me)

Do you think that £250 is the equivalent of two weeks' wages for your brother? :rotfl:

It's probably only a small percentage of his spending money!

Don't set a precedence with this wedding or you'll have to match it for all the other nephews and nieces.

hieveryone

I could also go on and on about asking for money - and my stock answer is 'just because they have asked for it, doesn't mean you have to give it!'

There are lots of very lovely sentimental gifts that look a lot more expensive than they are and cost a very reasonable amount.

Check out this website as an example:

http://www.ybcmdesigns.co.uk

I would be absolutely delighted to receive a gift like this - so personal and such a talking point for their home. Dressed up in a nice gift box that would be a lovely gift. (I arm referring to the wooden chopping board - I LOVE those!)

downshifted

I agree you should pay what you feel comfortable with. But I would take our household income into account when deciding, if we were all going, not just my own.

theoretica

How old are the teenagers? They are going to their cousin's wedding and I think should give something of their own. Naturally it won't be £60 each, but noone will expect it of them and that reduces your 'responsibility', even if you do subsidise them!

burnoutbabe

I'd probably give around £50 for each adult attending (you don't mention if your partner works).

And the teenage boys can give their own card (and gift voucher say £10 if they want).

NoGoodNamesLeft

We got married in February and some people chose to give us money. There was a huge difference in amount, so it really doesn't seem like there is a "standard" value to give.

My aunties gave us about £100/£150 while his aunt and uncle gave us £20. It isn't just down to income either as his side of the family are much richer than mine. I don't think wealthier people should automatically give more and if someone on a lower income wants to save up and give a large amount, that's OK too - it's a gift, not a fine!

I hadn't heard about the "cover your plate" rule until we started planning our wedding, but it doesn't sound right to me. How are you supposed to know what the couple spent on your food? At our wedding we had a buffet meal with free booze. Also provided bacon and sausages sandwiches later, so what would the cost of the "plate" even be? We also paid for hotel rooms and breakfast, should the guests have included that in their gift or just those that actually ate breakfast? Madness!

Just give whatever you want to and can reasonable afford. Enjoy the wedding!