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Wedding gift for niece - how much to spend

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  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,236 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    The suggestion that you should' cover your plate' is rubbish. You are not visiting a restaurant.

    Give what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with. What would you spend if you were buying a gift?

    I would normally spend around £50 unless it was a very close friend or family member .

    think £100 would be extremely generous. Your brother may chose to give more if he happens to be in a position to do so, but that is irrelevant to what you can, or should, give. Your £100 is a much bigger gift than his £250, as it represent a much bigger proportion of your income and available cash!
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • itsanne
    itsanne Posts: 5,001 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 1 August 2015 at 10:17AM
    I'm going to my nephew's wedding shortly. We've hardly seen him for a long time. He lives abroad so presents really have to be in the form of money. We're giving £100, which would be perfectly acceptable for you too. Your brother's suggestion is nonsense, so ignore it, relax .... and I hope you have a lovely day. :)

    ETA That sounds as if you should give £100, which wasn't what I meant. It's just a coinicidence that you mentioned the same amount as we're giving, but giving less would be absolutely fine.
    . . .I did not speak out

    Then they came for me
    And there was no one left
    To speak out for me..

    Martin Niemoller
  • suejb2
    suejb2 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Nothing to add because I can go on and on regarding asking for money for weddings! £50 tops.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
  • £100 is plenty. There's no need to feel that you have to give them the equivalent of what it is costing them to invite you, what a ridiculous suggestion by your brother.



    :D Thank you for the straight talking!

    You are so right... it's ridiculous

    My brother and sister live completely different lives to me..
    They are both very wealthy, children - private education, cruises twice a year, cleaners, gardeners, horses and more and more and more :rotfl:

    I stayed close to the childhood home and gave up my career to look after elderly parents. I am the 'bag lady' of the family....

    I should have come here first and left my brother out of this...

    sparkie
  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I would probably give 50 from each of us, so 200 in total, each person paying their own 50 tho.

    Our if seperate just 50 from me and the other three people whatever they wanted to give.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • 74jax wrote: »
    I would probably give 50 from each of us, so 200 in total, each person paying their own 50 tho.

    Our if seperate just 50 from me and the other three people whatever they wanted to give.
    Yes, and just in case the OP doesn't realise, I believe you do have a far higher income than she does, which puts that in context.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • Flugelhorn
    Flugelhorn Posts: 7,324 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Don't give £250! And don't feel you should cover the cost of your meal / drinks - they are entertaining you and if they don't want to pay then they shouldn't invite so many peopel.
    They should be as happy with £50 as with any amount.
    Other option is to buy something (preferably antique) and give them that, they won't have a clue how much it cost.
  • itsanne
    itsanne Posts: 5,001 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    74jax wrote: »
    I would probably give 50 from each of us, so 200 in total, each person paying their own 50 tho.

    Our if seperate just 50 from me and the other three people whatever they wanted to give.

    Two of the four are teenage boys, and that's before taking the OP's income into account .....

    Horses for courses springs to mind.
    . . .I did not speak out

    Then they came for me
    And there was no one left
    To speak out for me..

    Martin Niemoller
  • Flugelhorn wrote: »
    Other option is to buy something (preferably antique) and give them that, they won't have a clue how much it cost.


    This is what I would have done in the past, but this doesn't seem to be the 'modern way'. They have credit card bills to settle and a honeymoon to pay for so they want cash.


    I will not be giving £250.
    I haven't yet decided between £100 or £150 but I have time to think about it.
    I think we will go up for the day and return in the evening. (they live a 3 hour drive away)
    This will actually be a huge step for me as I haven't visited since we fell out.... it's a start.


    sparkie
  • This is what I would have done in the past, but this doesn't seem to be the 'modern way'. They have credit card bills to settle and a honeymoon to pay for so they want cash.


    I will not be giving £250.
    I haven't yet decided between £100 or £150 but I have time to think about it.
    I think we will go up for the day and return in the evening. (they live a 3 hour drive away)
    This will actually be a huge step for me as I haven't visited since we fell out.... it's a start.


    sparkie



    The part in bold is not your problem Sparkie and no-one should expect their guests to bail out their finances.


    You say you've already got close to £100 with 2 weddings to attend so I would just give £50 at each wedding and save yourself the stress and anxiety.


    CS x
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